Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012

Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012
Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas at Luche Libre Taco Shop in San Diego, March 2012

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Acrophobic Pig That Was Born With Wings

         Sculpture/Screen at Central Park In The Stapleton Neighborhood Of Aurora, Co


Jane Delano Flakes was born on November 10th of 2009. At first he appeared to be an ordinary piglet, though a little feisty and too much a biter for his mother's tastes.


Three weeks after he was born though, Jane Delano Flakes began to show an unusual growth. Not unusual as in a "Get-the-Doctor-he's-got-a-tumor" sort of way though. 


More of a "Get-the-camera-call-the-papers-this-pig-is-going-to-make-us-rich" sort of way


At least that's what Farmer Klepper thought. 


For Jane Delano Flakes, one of eleven born to the sow Feodosi Happy Flakes, had started to sprout, a mere eight weeks after his birth, for lack of a better term....wings


The wings started showing at the tail end of Jane Delano's second week on the planet. By then his Mother, Father, and siblings had begun referring to him as J.D., as the name Jane, which he was assigned mere hours after birth, had become a very apparent misnomer.


And make no mistake, they were wings


A casual observer would equate the protrusions on his back to chicken wings, for they initially had the look of chicken wings - chicken wings that had been plucked of feathers, that is.


But days later...those wings had grown. And they continued to grow. 


At three months, the wings were larger that those of an eagle. Each wing was covered with white feathers that were streaked with blue at the tips.

J.D.'s tail, which had been small and curly at birth, had straightened and tailfeathers now completely covered it.

Farmer Klepper, who had built a small booth in which he displayed J.D to the ticket-purchasing public, suddenly had an idea.


"That pig", said Farmer Klepper to his wife Marina, "was born to fly."


The very next morning Farmer Klepper set about building a tower. Three days after he started on the tower he stood 28 feet above his farm, and he looked down at the small booth that J.D. now called home.


This was as high as Farmer Klepper had ever been and as he looked down the thought occurred to him that a nice big pile of hay at the bottom of the tower would be necessary, in case the pig wouldn't fly.


Didn't want to damage the star attraction.


He walked down the 38 stair steps and over to the hay wagon. He pushed the wagon over to the base of the tower and emptied all the hay into a large pile.


"That," Thought Farmer Klepper, "should do it'"


He then walked to J.D.'s little booth, picked up J.D., and walked right back to the tower and up the 38 steps.


At the top of the tower he held J.D out in front of him...and let go.


J.D. fell, and as he fell he frantically flapped his wings, Hoping that, miraculously, he would take flight, soar over the countryside, and then gracefully alight on the ground in front of the barn.

J.D. fell. He fell very, very fast.


He landed in the pile of hay and had all of the air knocked out of his lungs.


J.D. did not like this at all.


Farmer Klepper raced down the stairs and over to J.D. "OMG!" He thought - "I hope I haven't damaged the goods!"


But J.D. was okay, just a bit bent and bruised.


Farmer Klepper thought to himself...for a long while. "This is one dumb pig. I will have to show him how to fly".


So Farmer Klepper began to spend a few minutes each day flapping each of J.D.'s wings up and down, followed by dancing in front of J.D. for a full twenty minutes with his hands tucked into his armpits and his arms frantically flapping, much as he hoped that J.D. would start doing.


J.D. thought a lot of that was very interesting, and at night, when the rest of the barn, especially those that spent time teasing him about his wings, were asleep, he would spend hours mimicing Farmer Klepper.


And one night, in the wee hours of the morning, J.D. took flight.


And it scared him to no end.

In the morning Farmer Klepper made his usual rounds feeding the animals, collecting the chicken eggs, and milking the cows.

It wasn't until he had taken the horses out to the paddock that he noticed that the pigs in the sty were all staring at the top of the barn.

Farmer Klepper stared at the top of the barn too.

On the top of the roof, sprawled out with all four limbs holding on for dear life, was J.D.

J.D. squealed loudly as Farmer Klepper stared up at him. He wanted down, and he wanted down right then and there.

Farmer Klepper fetched his tall ladder and climbed up to J.D., tucked him under his arm, and brought him back down to earth.

J.D. ran off to a secluded corner of the sty as soon as Farmer Klepper set him down. He huddled in the corner hiding his face in his wings.

Farmer Klepper was astounded. The pig had flown up to the top of the barn, but wouldn't fly back down. He was afraid to fly back down.

This could be a problem.

For the next few days, Farmer Klepper and his wife pondered the situation. If the pig could fly, then a fortune was to be had.

They were a poor family, and the extra income from exhibiting J.D. was a welcome boon. However, the crowds had slowed to a trickle, namely due to skeptical articles in the papers leading to a general consensus that J.D.s wings were artificial and had been attached by Farmer Klepper to turn J.D. into a cheap carnival side show attraction.

Despite having J.D. examined by respected Veterinarians and the wings being declared genuine natural protuberances, Farmer Klepper knew he needed something spectacular to convince the ticket-buying public.

The pig needed to fly, and fly on command in front of large audiences.

J.D. had kept to himself in the days that followed his rescue from the roof by Farmer Klepper. At dusk, when his little booth was closed for the night, he would scurry to a little corner of the barn and hide away from the rest of the animals.

He no longer tried to flap his wings. Anytime his wings involuntarily moved he would splay himself flat on the ground, trying to hold onto the earth with all four of his little hooves.

J.D. couldn't bear the thought of being aloft again. He was afraid he would find himself enjoying the rush of the nght air over his feathers and then he'd make the same dreadful mistake...

He would look down.

The first time he looked down and saw how very, very far away the ground was, he froze with fear, which was not good as his wings needed to flap in order to keep him up.

That was when he fell down to the barn roof, and held on tightly all night until Farmer Klepper came up to get him







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