Monday, July 7, 2014
Tips For Handling The Break-Up Of A Dysfunctional Relationship
First, don't get into a relationship with anyone you do not actually consider a friend. That's right, I'm going all preemptive here and stating that if you are in a relationship with a friend, then chances are you will not treat each other like crap after the glow of whatever it was that attracted you to each other (physical appearance, attitude, life-long fantasy/desire, convenience, etc.,) wears off.
Friends have a lot in common, and do things with each other that are fun, sometimes funny. They are usually a joy and desirable to be around. That's why couples that claim they value each other as friends stay together. Who woulda thunk?
Now, if you entered into a relationship with someone before developing friendship, before actually discovering whether or not you are truly, deeply... compatible and wake up one morning to discover you are involved with a demon...well, then you have a problem on your hands.
Let me clarify what I mean by a "demon." I am not talking about someone you just no longer have feelings for or don't find attractive on some level or other anymore...I am talking about the kind of demon that desires not just you...but your life. The demon I am talking about is the type that starts to chose your friends, picks out what clothes you're going to wear, tells you exactly how it's going to be from now on in...and gets either physically or verbally abusive when things don't go their way. The type of demon that creates an air of tension so thick it makes it nearly impossible to breath. And then, when you do give them back some of what they're feeding you, somehow turns your reaction back on you and makes you out to be the problem.
To those of you who have never experienced life with one of these demons, bravo - you have won at life, or are at least currently winning. Those of us who have experienced one of these demons...know well what I mean.
Here are a few tips on how to deal with that problem.
1) Run away. Immediately sell all of your possessions that you cannot pack into your car, break your lease or put your house on the market (pray that it's a seller's market) and get on down the road. Someplace very far away that has little or no infrastructure is preferable. If possible, fake your own death.
2) Get rid of anything and everything that could possibly remind you of the person you're fleeing. You do not need sentimental reminders of a demon. The friend of theirs you kinda got to know and really sorta like? Ditch city. Seriously.
3) If it is absolutely necessary to communicate with the demon, do so in a decisive manner. There's no need to be mean, but you also do not have to be nice. Say what you have to say and get out.
4) Do. Not. Look. Back. Not physically. Not mentally, and Lord knows, not emotionally. This is not one of those "closing-a-chapter-in-a-book" dealios. This is a "sealing-a-demon-in-a-demon-proof-tomb-that-will then-be-hidden-in-the-base-of-an-active-volcano-that-is-guarded-by-frost-giants-riding-dragons" dealio.
5) Once you're gone, move on. Get back into the dating scene with a renewed energy and focus. The focus should be on finding a friend who is compatible with you on as many levels as possible. Do not look for someone based on appearance or attitude or wish fulfillment. Sanity is what you want. Sanity and pleasant companionship. If the new person is also smart, fun, funny and attractive, sacrifice a chicken to the gods for favoring you.