Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012

Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012
Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas at Luche Libre Taco Shop in San Diego, March 2012

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

On Two Separate Occasions, So, Like Twice


After two years of being taken for granted in the home, marginalized at social gatherings, and treated with near-complete indifference in every other setting or situation, PL made the decision to tear asunder what many thought was a very happy home.

"Ah, if only they knew the truth." PL thought as neatly folded clothes were packed into a large red suitcase. "If only everyone could see AL as I do, have to endure the emotional and physical abuse, have to hide the bruises, have to put on a happy face when happiness was as far from what I was feeling as earth is from heaven...then they would all understand."

Tears filled tired brown eyes for the third time in the last twenty minutes. Taking deep breaths, PL counted down from ten and then continued to fill the suitcase. All of the clothes from the dresser and the high chest were now packed. The closet was next. There was only the large duffel bag left to fill. 

PL judiciously scanned the clothes that hung on the left side of the closet. Pushing aside a dark green sweatshirt emblazoned with "Vancouver Canada" in large colorful letters, a souvenir of a honeymoon that ranked as one the worst memories of PL's life, a double handful of clothes on hangers were grabbed and tossed unceremoniously onto the bed.

Most of the clothes had been purchased before the wedding. Not much money had been available to add to a wardrobe after the discovery of AL's huge debts. The expense of the elaborate wedding & reception and then the three-week honeymoon, had been a concern, but PL rationalized it all as a "once in a lifetime" experience and event. The revelation by AL upon their return from Canada of not only a staggering amount of student loan debt along with high-interest credit card debts, but also a vehicle repossession and tax liens from the federal and state governments going back three years, had nearly sent PL running. But the vows were still regarded as sacred then, the whole "...for better or worse, for richer, for poorer..." still carried immense weight.

Now, PL almost mechanically flipped through the clothes sprawled on the bed, selected a few items that still had appeal, then neatly folded them up and placed them in the duffel bag. The process was repeated four more times, until the duffel bag was too full to accommodate anymore clothing.

Turning slowly, as if reacting to a bad joke overheard in a crowded club, PL scanned the room. There was nothing that looked worth taking. None of the pictures hanging on the walls nor any of the stupid little trinkets that AL brought back from any of the supposed business trips had any meaning anymore, if they ever really had in the first place.

The monitor of the computer still lay on the floor where PL had thrown it. The graphic email addressed to AL from a person who had been described as a business associate still burned in PL's mind. What part of that email, and no doubt many others that hadn't been inadvertently left open, respected the mutual vows to love, honor, and cherish? PL again wiped welling tears from the now reddened as well as tired eyes.

Picking up both the red suitcase and the duffel, PL made for the front door. On the small table in the kitchen the note that had been carefully worded lay next to the photo from the wedding, the shattered glass in the broken frame looking like a violent spiderweb.

Suddenly aware that a few things had been forgotten, PL put the suitcase and duffel down and headed back to the bedroom and went into the master bath. Grabbing a small plastic tote that had been given as part of a Spa package, PL dumped the bath salts, the shea butter, the lemongrass aromatherapy soap, the inner peace body oil, and the relaxation shower gel into the sink. From the left side of the small counter PL took the toothbrush, toothpaste, the shaving cream, razor, and underarm deodorant and placed them all in the plastic tote.

Last time he had walked out, PL had left those items behind, a "subconscious reason to return" his therapist had said. He wasn't going to make that same mistake twice.










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