The More He Barked, The More She Growled

Those two, the supposedly star-crossed lovers, had been fighting about anything and everything under the sun since most everyone had known them. At times they could be embarrassing to be around, as they had no compunctions about having a full throttle shouting match in public.

Neither of them seemed to notice that their circle of friends diminished as the years past. Even close relatives of each of them had begun to keep their distance.

Then one afternoon it occurred to the Mrs that they had not been out to see friends in a long while, and she said to the Mr, "Hey, Idiot, when was the last time we got invited to a party?"

The Mr pondered the question for a few moments and then replied, "Hmmm...I can't recall. Must have been at least two years ago...that graduation party for your sister's youngest?"

"You mean the party where you threw the glass of fruit punch on me after I called you a dickless moron?"

"Yeah," the Mr said while nodding his head in agreement. "I'm pretty sure that was it. Two years ago this past June."

With a confused look the Mrs asked, "Why do you think that is? Do you think our friends and family are deliberately ignoring us? Did we get on someone's bad side and get blackballed by the whole bunch?"

With raised eyebrows the Mr replied, "That's preposterous. If we are being ignored it can't be due to something we did. The more likely explanation is that they're all jealous of the level of honesty we have in our relationship. I distinctly recall overhearing my older brother's wife a few years ago saying it was almost unbearable to deal with how well we communicate so openly to each other."

"Huh. Yeah, that is probably the reason. Stupid morons. Oh well, their loss."

"Yep," said the Mr. "Now where the hell did your dumb ass put the damn remote?"

"My dumb ass?" The Mrs mused. "My dumb ass is probably sitting on it...why don't you ever look before you plop your lazy ass down on a chair?"