Someone Left A Sign Out In The Rain

Stumbled across a sign on my afternoon constitutional today. Have no idea who it was meant for, but I hope she got to see it.

Maybe Not Causation, But Maybe A Connection

Shrink: So tell me about your relationship with your first pet.

Patient: What? I can barely remember my first pet. It was a cat, I think. Little, gray, that's all I can recall.

Shrink. Interesting. And do you have a pet now?

Patient: Yeah, I have a couple of fish. I named them Sarah & Stefano.

Shrink: Fish? What kind of fish are they?

Patient: Cichlids. Peacock Cichlids, both of them. Stefano is a beautiful example of the species.

Shrink: Why did you chose to keep fish? Do you live in a small apartment?

Patient: Huh? No, no I own a house. I like aquariums, they are very peaceful, relaxing. And the fish are beautiful, very bold color, especially on Stefano.

Shrink: Did you have an aquarium as a child?

Patient: No, my parents weren't too keen on pets of any kind, actually, never thought to even ask them if I could have an aquarium.

Shrink: Yet you stated your first pet was a small gray cat.

Patient: Yeah, well, that was like a secret pet. The cat was feral, lived in the scrub that grew on the hillside our house was on. I think I first saw it when it was drinking water out of a swallow pan that had been left out in the backyard. I started leaving food for it after I saw it in hopes it would let me pet it. Never did let me pet it now that I think about it.

Shrink: Interesting. And now you have two fish as pets...that you can't pet.

Patient: Huh. Yeah, never thought about it like that, but yeah. 

Quite Frankly, Imma Pretend It's 2006

Everything's The Same As It's Never Been

I've been washing my hair with Pinesol

Brushing my teeth with Purell

The whole damn house smells like Lysol

It's a germ-killin' free for all

Frenetic, hectic, antiseptic 

Making me want to scream

I'm quarantined 
Due to Covid-19

Gotta wipe everything down

With Nitroglycerin

Maintaining a six foot perimeter

Spent good money on a Telehydrobarometer

Absolute necessity for accurate temperature

Standing in line to buy liqueur

Frenetic, hectic, antiseptic

Watching reruns on channel thirteen

I'm quarantined 
due to Covid-19

The government has imposed a clampdown

Teaching everyone what it means to be clean

Confessional Freak Show

He wanted to keep his affairs in order but the mess was to big to keep under his hat.

Standing In Line Outside Costco (Observing Social Distancing) For Toilet Paper

Through A Prism Of Pollution And Condensation

Tomorrow's Special: More Fear

What is to be done about tomorrow? 

Why should anything be done about tomorrow, you ask? 

Well, because tomorrow is being used as a threat, something to be worried about, something to be terrified of.

We are being sold huge slices of thick, gooey, fear. To the point that everyone is becoming extremely paranoid.

Paranoia is an irrational behavior that leads to even greater irrational behaviors. 

The historical record shows that the single greatest tool used by those who wish to manipulate, to control...
The thoughts and actions of others...
Is fear.

Fear can be used to keep people in check...fear can be used to keep people from discerning fact from fiction.

Beware, but not afraid, of the fear-mongers.

The Monster Named Theodore

Everybody's Afraid, Why Aren't You?

You, standing there with your hands in your pockets
As if none of this really matters
Why aren't you sealing yourself away
From the threat the world poses
You're not special
You're not immune

Or maybe

You are

It's The End Of The World, Let's Go Shopping!

Did You Really Want A Sunroof In Back But Settled For A Skylight?

The Fresh, Anti-Septic Scent Of The Approaching Apocalypse

Nothing prepared me for this. Every book, every movie, every television show I'd ever read or seen depicted the end of times as a grimy, filthy affair.

Not the thoroughly scrubbed, washed down like a naval training vessel, sparkling fresh, clean-as-a-whistle clinicians office that it has revealed itself to be.

Nervous Circles

Look at all those dejected faces
Worried that their world is eroding away
Thinking that they will never have another day
Of fun

So they sit in the shade of looming buildings
Indifferent to the fact that the truth is distorted
By those that make a living off lies unreported
Or revealed

Boat Drinks Johnny, Boat Drinks!

Eyes Front

He wasted a lot of time wishing for a better past
Time he could have spent living and enjoying the present
Time that should be spent building a better future

Everybody Gets A Free House!!

The other night I went out on sort of a pub crawl with a few friends, and I was the designated driver. All was going well in my humble opinion until we got to the third stop, which was a place close to home and not too divey divey.

We sat down next to a few other people and exchanged pleasantries. Pretty soon we were are all talking about COVID-19 and whether or not the government was doing enough to prepare the citizenry and whether or not the media was blowing the situation out of proportion, and so on.

To cut to the chase, somehow that conversation morphed into a heated exchange between me and the guy sitting to my left over, of all things, whether or not the government should provide every U.S. citizen with a home.

It morphed into a heated exchange about that topic simply because the guy sitting to the left of me blurted out, "The housing situation in this city is crazy, I make a good living and I can't afford to buy a house here! The government should be providing homes for people!".

I was stunned to hear that, to say the least. It took me a few seconds to collect my thoughts but finally I replied, "Are you serious?'

To which the gentleman to my left, in a loud voice full of self-righteousness, retorted, "Yes I'm serious! There is no reason I shouldn't be able to have a house where I want to live - the prices of homes in this city are too high for the average person to be able to afford a house, the government should step in and make houses affordable for everyone!"

Looking and listening to him I could see he was getting much to agitated over this issue than what anyone would think was reasonable, but I couldn't help myself, I had to say it, and say it I did...I said, "That's insane. The government does not owe you a house in whatever area of the country you wish to settle in. What, should I be entitled to a house on the beach in Malibu because I want to settle there? 

Which was not the thing this guy wanted to hear...for he then preceded to rant about how Capitalism is evil and Socialism is the only government that allows all people to live equally...yada, yada, yada.

Of course I couldn't just sit there and quietly listen to this malarky, so I started in with a counter-argument at the top of my voice, and pretty soon we were yelling at each other like two complete lunatics.

And then...we both suddenly realized what we were doing (and that the whole bar was staring at us) and stopped. Just stopped.  

We looked at each other and almost simultaneously held out our hands to shake, and mumbled apologies for getting much too heated.

Everybody around us looked stunned, as I am 100% certain that they were not expecting anything even remotely like that to happen.

But it did, and me and the guy continued talking about the subject (in much, much calmer tones) for another half hour or so, until my companions voted that it was time to continue on to the next joint.

Heck, me and the guy that was sitting to the left even gave each other a hug as we parted ways.

That right there is one of the best things about getting old...eventually, calmer heads do prevail.