Golden Days, Months, & Years

 Eventually you realize that these days are all you have, and it's up to you to make the best of them.

In The Eye Of The Beholder (With A Sharp Stick)

 He had been greatly influenced by the orient as far as the preference for the subject matter of his paintings went. Every portrait featured the subject wearing a turban or similar headdress, and all the clothing was white.

So it was with some surprise that he entered a painting in the most highly regarded juried exhibition of the year that featured an abstract representation of the German Field Marshall Rommel as a manager of a small pub in Hertfordshire.

Needless to say, it won the Turner prize in a walk.

Hail vs Porsche

 

Find Your Inner Whatever

 I've been searching for a path that will lead me to

Enlightenment

And free me from the stresses and the strains of everyday life

I thought I'd found the way 

But somehow I've misplaced the map

The Exhibitionist

 

The tavern is located across the parking lot from a tattoo parlor/piercing studio, and at least three to four times a year it happens.

A woman, usually in her early twenties but on occasion mid-thirties, walks into the tavern and casually states "I just got my nipples pierced, give me a shot of _____ (shot of choice for the majority of these women: Fireball).

Then said woman follows up that action with one of two things - either makes visits to individual patrons and asks if they would like to see her newly pierced nipples, or stands in the most central area of the small bar and lifts her top, stating loudly, "look, aren't they perfect?' (or words to the effect).

On occasion, they are perfect, and on occasion, they are not. 

Last nights exhibitionist listed to the not so perfect, the studs that had just been inserted into the small nipples that crowned her small breasts seeming to weigh them down like small anchors on two small, floundering skiffs.

The Claw!

Third Winter Is Upon Us

 

I Too Love My Dog

 Not enough to put him in a backpack and take him shopping though

The Apex Of Laziness

   Some well regarded giant of industry was once quoted as saying "When I need to find the easiest way to get something done, I assign my laziest employee to the task - lazy people are great are finding the easiest and fastest way to get something done."

   Or words to that effect.

   I have always regarded that as, at best, half right. That's due to bearing witness to some incredibly lazy people going about performing tasks in the most roundabout, time-consuming manner possible.

   For example, a few days ago I was driving home from work along a street that has two lanes heading in each direction. About half a mile from the next stoplight traffic began to slow down dramatically, then it became evident that quite a few cars directly ahead of me were having to merge into the right lane due to some road crew activity in the left lane.

   As traffic slowly zippered into the right lane the view ahead of the left lane opened up and I could see one of those large trucks that carry the traffic cones and "lane ahead closed" signs was backing down the now empty left hand lane, then stopping. 

   When the traffic cone truck would stop, the driver would get out, walk to the back of the truck and over to the nearest traffic cone, pick up the traffic cone, then walk with it to the back of the traffic cone truck and stack the cone on top of the smallest stack of cones already on the truck bed.

   Then the driver would return to the cab of the truck and reverse the truck back to the next cone, and repeat the cone gathering routine. 

   I counted 22 cones collected before I passed the traffic cone carrying truck...and there were at least another 40 to 50 cones yet to be picked up and stacked on the back of the traffic cone carrying truck...one at a time.

   That right there. That's unproductive laziness.

Snow Falling On Cottonwoods

 

The Popularity Of Not Conforming

Everybody is a non-conformists these days. Look around, you see them everywhere with their non-conforming clothes, non-conforming hair, non-conforming social mores.

Probably just another fad.

Quantum Vacuum Fluctuation

I sent her a letter

It was just three blank pieces of paper

Because I wanted her to know 

That I had nothing left to say

Her reply came today

Two pages, equally blank

I guess she had even less to say

Well, He Does Have The Light...

 

He Lived Under Mysterious Circumstances

No one who knew him could truly say they knew him. 

Sure, they knew his name, but as it was later revealed, most everybody who thought they knew his name only knew a name he had given them, and at last count the name he gave had 41 variations.

No one seemed to even be in agreement on where he came from, or what ethnicity he was.

He had light skin, but coal black eyes, and his accent puzzled everyone.

His accent seemed to vary from day to day, and sometimes even from conversation to conversation. 

There were those who swore he had to be of western European origin, perhaps Portuguese. 

There was a consensus that he must have come to the eastern United States when he was in his early teens, and that learning English from people in either Vermont or Maine, coupled with how he had learned to pronounce English words in his native tongue, is where the untraceable accent came about.

Of course, that was all speculation. 

While a few people had actually ventured to ask him questions about his background directly (which were never answered directly), most people considered that rude and never engaged in what they considered untoward behavior.

Of course stories about him sprung up almost daily. He was said to be a war criminal in hiding, or perhaps a former mobster in the Witness Protection Program. Some even bandied about the idea that he was the son of an oil-rich Middle Eastern Sheik who had been banished for a offense so damning that he had been forced to relocate to the States and never return to his homeland.

Unbeknownst to everyone, there was a hint of truth in a few of the stories. 

Just a hint. The truth, the whole truth, was so fantastic that no one who discovered it would ever believe it. It was just that improbable, that implausible.

The truth was...well, it'll have to wait until I get back, there's someone at the door.

Treasure The Joys In The Midst Of Sadness

Some days you may feel burdened 

With heavier weight than you may think you can bear

Some days you may feel that you are in a constant

Non-stop fight with everyone, including yourself

Some days you might just feel that it's just not worth

Getting up, much less getting out of bed

Those are the days when you have take a deep breath

And focus on all the ways in which you are winning

No matter how ugly you are thinking the world is 

It's still, nevertheless a beautiful place to be

And you have every right to enjoy your time in it.

Goose Soup For The Wonky Soul

 

Lakewood Museum Of Discarded Art, Spring 2021 Show

 More art I've snapped pics of at garage sales, thrift shops and even leaning against the side of a building in beautiful, Lakewood Colorado