The Fifth-Rate Conformist Strikes Back

                Still alive and kickin' in 2023

                 Very happy to be here with friends and family

           Not at the top of the ladder but not stuck on the bottom rung either

                 Got a well rounded life free of secrets and other debilitating diseases

                 Not a day goes by when I don't appreciate how lucky I am

Can't complain about the world because I didn't make it

         Can't complain about the world because I can't take it

                  Can't show you pictures of a wife and children

                            Can't complain of being abandoned

                                     Can't complain that someone who never was 

                                                                Has left me for the yardman

                 Happy to be here to enjoy another day

                                      Rain or shine, miserable or divine

              It makes no difference to me 

                 As long as I'm drawing breath and able 

                                        To appreciate

                                        The Ineffable

                                        Transcendent

                                        Inescapable

                                                 Cosmic

                                        Incredible

                                               Mystery 

                                                  Of it all

 

Love Your Work

 Love your work and you'll never really work a day in your life.

For eons, that's been repeatedly said by people who love their work.

But rarely by the janitor cleaning up after some drunken slob who blew chunks in the hallway.

Circumstances That Free The Creative Urge

 

Wednesday Morning Conversation In A Small Coffee Shop

"You know how people say it's lonely at the top?"

"Yep - and it's a long fall down the ladder so make all the friends you can as you climb."

"The only reason it's lonely at the top is because of the paranoia people develop as they are working their way up, always looking at the people around them with suspicion, always afraid one of them is going to try to steal their thunder if not their actual job."

"And you'd know this because you've made it to the top?"

"Of course not, but I've known people who have made it to the top - ruthless devils, all of them, every single man and woman."

"Every single one? You've known a lot of people that made it to the top?"

"Well, two."

"Are they lonely?"

"Hmmm...nope, don't think so."

"So what's your point?"

'My point? That the whole being lonely at the top thing is bullpuckey - hell, people at the top are surrounded by sycophants and hangers on."

"Yeah, but they still might be lonely."

"If they are, then that's just proof of the paranoia assertion."

"Right."

"Are you going to eat the rest of your scone?" 

Warning: Bumps You Encounter On The Road When Moving On May Be Figments Of Your Imagination

  

   Nora stared at the happy couple with as much disdain one can possess without it becoming a legal liability.

   If she could actually froth at the mouth like a rabid dog, she would be doing so.

    For three years she put up with that lazy, inconsiderate, negative lump of video-game addicted lard and now she was sitting at a table on a restaurant patio not more than thirty feet from him as he was eating breakfast with some bitchy looking overdressed fat girl (in clothes two years out of date) wearing the ugliest hat she had ever seen - probably to hide a terrible haircut.

    What could he possibly see in her? And what could she possibly see in him? Her mind raced as she tried to figure out how that bitch got his lazy ass out of bed this early, much less dressed and out for breakfast at a restaurant.

   He had shaved that god-awful beard, finally, and looked like he'd lost some weight and bought some decent clothes. Why the hell hadn't he done any of that when they were still together? 

   Nora fumed.

   Her morning had been going just fine without having to see him with some fat girl as she was trying to order breakfast.

   What the hell. 

   Why do these things always happen to her? She had made great strides since she finally shoved him out the door. It had taken more effort than she thought possible but she had trimmed down, found a new job that paid well and didn't require her to grind out 10 to 12 hour days, and most importantly had been able to finally buy some decent clothes instead of those old rags she had to wear when the struggle was real.

   My god, he was even using a napkin to wipe the corners of his mouth. When the hell did he learn proper manners?  

   She stared with tractor beam intensity for a few more long seconds before she was tapped gently on her right hand.

   "Hey, Nora, that waitress is going to be coming around again in a few more seconds, have you decided what you're going to eat?"

   For a few seconds anger flashed in her eyes when she looked up at Luis. His near perfect teeth and light brown eyes almost seeming to dare her not to focus on him.

   "What?, oh, sorry, got lost in thought about a situation at work. Hold on a moment...the coated cinnamon French toast looks good, I'll have that, and let's get a pitcher of mimosa's."

   Luis nodded in agreement and caught the eye of the waitress who proceeded to walk back toward their table.

   Nora again looked over at the table thirty feet away and momentarily hoped the waiter who was refilling their glasses would pour the entire pitcher on their table. It would serve them right.

A Sense Of Disconnection

He was the kind of guy who would question why you had the refrigerator in the kitchen and not in the family room, then stare at you as if it was the entire world that had it wrong and not him.

Also, true north was not a fact despite what every compass indicated - it was to him, an opinion, and a subjective one at that. 

There wasn't much that he wasn't contentious about, no matter how preposterous his contrarian position was.

Whenever anyone was able to conclusively prove that any of his assertions were wrong, he would spend an hour or so arguing that everything was subject to interpretation, and that it was all just a matter of perspective.

Despite that, he still was able to gain employment as an accountant, which was beyond the keen of everyone who knew him.

Numbers don't lie was the only explanation.
 

Denver's Gift To Freudian Psychotherapy (Sometimes A Phallic Symbol Is Just A Phallic Symbol?)

 

Creative Compromises

She said she hated the water, the thought of a fish 

Or something 

Brushing against her 

Made her skin crawl just thinking about it

And she was certain she would be carried out to sea

Not to mention the sharks and moray eels

Other ever-present dangers

He said he hated the mountains, the thought of a bear

Or something

Chasing after him

Made his mind reel just thinking about it

And he was certain he would be buried in an avalanche

Not to mention the wolves and mountain lions

Other ever-present dangers

It took awhile

Eventually though, they lived happily ever after

In a barren desert far from any ocean or mountains

Tested And Proven At 2,263 Concerts

 

The plan for today is to approach every task with as much energy and enthusiasm as the Ramones had just counting to four.

Songs & Psalms & Praise & Cash & Catnaps

 Aimee Semple McPherson's cat

Sat on the plush velvet seat of her little gilded throne

Watching as thousands of well-dressed Angelinos 

Surged down the aisles in pulsing waves

Intent on gaining seats nearest the altar/stage

The two balconies being for those less committed 

To abject adulation of the red-haired matron with the flashing smile

The cat's attendant reached for the gold handled brush

That was the only brush that ever touched the long white fur

As gently as a butterfly landing on a bloom

The bristles groom the leading lady's favored pet

Angelus Temple was packed on this warm Sunday Evening

Men and women who couldn't find seats

Sit or stand on the steps of the aisles that lead to redemption 

The orchestra plays, the chorus sings

Then the Sister takes up her microphone

She greets everyone in the massive domed temple

And all the people tuned in to the wireless

The cat licks a paw and purrs contently

As a performer takes center and recites a poem

Followed by a musician who charms the crowd for a short spell

The director of the vaudevillian entertainment

Keeps the acts moving apace

Can't have the gathered masses growing restless

Before the sister has a chance to wax evangelically ecstatic

The cat however, cannot stifle a yawn

Despite her mistresses loud exhortations to repent

For the sins of the Jazz age

Without a glance of acknowledgement

To the gathered saints and sinners

The cat curled it's body into a comfortable comma

Head tucked in for an afternoon nap

Best Lakewood Yard Art Of The Month...So Far

 

Sculptures Featured At The E.B. Rains Memorial Park In Northglenn, Colorado

                                           Colorful sculpture, made of steel, no attribution found

     Proud perched eagle sculpture made of scrap industrial parts (iron?) and steel, no attribution found

                                     Walking A Tight Line (front), Sculpture in Steel by Jodie Bliss 

                                 Walking A Tight Line (back), Sculpture in Steel by Jodie Bliss  

                                             Magenta Butterflies in a big rock, no attribution

                                            Cloud Tree Sculpture, steel, no attribution found

       Mare Equus et Ferro Machina (south view), sculpture in steel and industrial parts, Steven Torres
                           

        Mare Equus et Ferro Machina (north view), sculpture in steel and industrial parts, Steven Torres

  Peace Pole, one of over 250,000 erected in communities around the world - read the project details        here: www.worldpeace.org/peacepoleproject/ 

Shameless Plug For A Shameless Website

    Maybe, just maybe, you have been searching for a means of expressing yourself while you drive to work or the store or wherever, and the good ol' reliable finger is just not cutting it.

   May I suggest then a visit to www.innerdecay.com? 

   There you will find a treasure trove of humorous, outlandish, ridiculous, hilarious, and possibly offensive bumper stickers, T-shirts, pins, patches and blankets(!) that do a pretty good job of conveying a wide range of sentiments that might just be exactly what your car (or jacket, bed, refrigerator, etc.) needs to complete it's secondary use as a billboard/advertising medium.

   Though it's too late to pick up one of the "Yee Your Haws...Afore You Cain't" T-shirts, as those are all sold out.

Reckless Aging

 

   Life Hack: If you hit your thumb dead-on with a framing hammer, heat a needle and stick it straight into the middle of your thumbnail to relieve the pressure caused by the hemorrhaging underneath it.

   Or don't - depends upon how squeamish you are, and whether or not you can exert the somewhat gentle but strong force necessary to penetrate your thumbnail with a hot needle.

   Oh, criminy, stop being a big wuss and just do it, it'll relieve the pain fairly quickly and might save your nail.

   Then soak the thumb in a solution of clean water and Epsom salts. Might then want to but a bandage on after the soaking/cleaning - one of those extremely large mummy bandages like you see in cartoons would be best.

Going Nowhere On Thirty, Maybe Forty Dollars A Day

 He told me that all he needed to get through a day

Was thirty, maybe forty dollars

That was enough, he mumbled through what teeth he had left

To get enough of a gig

For himself, and maybe this little girl he knew

If she was willing to earn it, that is

Life is cheap if you live in a thicket of trees near an overpass

The Closest Living Relatives To Birds

 

                                                                          Wait, what?

Sometimes the kid next door learns something new that he absolutely has to share with the entire neighborhood. This afternoon, as several of us neighbors were enjoying Easter dinner together, he approached me with the question, "Do you know what the closest living relatives to birds are?'

My response was "Other birds?" and he promptly declared that I was wrong, and that the closest living relatives to birds were crocodiles.

Which I then responded to by saying "Wow, who woulda thunk, that's very interesting."

Later, after dinner and after all the folding tables and chairs had been put away as well as the dishes, I got on the ol' internet to check the veracity of that statement.

Whaddya know, the kid was right. Good to know he's paying attention at school.

Five Interpretations Of A Young Model, 1938

 

                                                Ann Gutkin, 26, model featured in Life magazine in 1938

Life magazine covered all the visual bases back in the day. International photojournalism was the mainstay of the publication, but occasionally a few pages were dedicated to artists and models. This model, Ann Gutkin, lived in Greenwich Village which even then was fairly Bohemian. Five New York artists were commissioned to create impressions of her make-up free appearance.  

Alexander Brook gives Ann doe eyes and portrays her as if she is deciding what to wear (or not wear) to the next big Bacchanalian shindig she'll be attending

Jerry Farnsworth's painting of Ann is more restrained, and looks a bit stiff, which may have been the result of a not-so-comfortable pose.

Leon Kroll added a somewhat gratuitous heart in the small of Ann's back and titled this painting Ann in White Scarf.

Ann Brockman added a few pounds to Ann's frame and placed her outdoors near the ol' swimming hole, swimsuits optional

Robert Brackman had Ann pose with a water pitcher while standing behind his wife Frances, who is posed as if she was considering a refill.

Grandiosity For Grandiosity's Sake

   

   Perhaps today would be one of those memorable days, a day of energy and creativity that only the truly remarkable men and women of history have ever experienced, a day of not only the imagining of fantastic ideas, but of also achieving them, of seeing them through from conception to gestation to birth.

   It could happen, it is possible, that the necessary focus would manifest itself, allowing for the dissolution of every possible barrier to that elusive wellspring that he yearned to tap into. His very soul shuddered at the prospect of finally being so inspired that originality would flow from his fingertips like the snowmelt from the Sierra Nevada's during the early summer.

   Or not. After all, the sun was out now and it would be a shame to waste the day staying indoors.

The Real Story...Or The Real Fabrication?

Some people call some news fake news

Fabrications. Paid points of view

Press releases

Lies  

                                                                                 Apparently

                                                                           Which is which

                                                                       All depends on the

Side of the divide you're on

Funny that, eh? 

War Movies Suck

    I was asked what my favorite war movie was and after thinking about it for awhile I came to the conclusion that I no longer have a favorite war movie.

   I used to. I used to like movies such as The Sand Pebbles, Apocalypse Now, The Bridges at Toko-Ri, Full Metal Jacket, The Big Rad One, and Saving Private Ryan, but these days I cannot watch any of those films without being distracted by the fact that all of those films are portraying the worst of human behavior as entertainment.

   And that just doesn't work for me. 

   Yeah, yeah, I know, some of those movies were made to show how pointless war is, but that's something that rarely works to effect, at least not in my experience.

   Yeah, I also know that fighting a war against an invading force can be absolutely necessary for survival - I'm not contesting that.

   What I'm saying here is that making a movie about war for entertainment purposes sucks.