Bumper stickers are a uniquely American phenomena. Europeans, Asians, residents of the Middle East...usually don't plaster their opinions, political or otherwise, on their cars. Usually, the only bumper stickers you'll see in European countries are those little ovals that identify the car's occupants country of origin - you know, ESP for Spain, IRL for Ireland, that sort of thing.
Americans however, those residents of the North American continent who own cars, love to identify themselves by more than just their country of origin. Drive through any city in Canada, the United States, or Mexico, and you'll see thousands of stickers, usually a 3.75 inch by 11.5 inch rectangle, though the European oval has been co-opted and is used to advertise everything from beach cities to favorite bands to how far the driver can jog (13.1 or 26.2? Hell, how about an oval stating 3 blocks).
Canadians have some fairly mean-spirited political bumper stickers for a country that is supposed to be so nice they apologize for it. I saw one in Montreal in the shape of a maple leaf that stated: Francais - apprendre a le parler! which sorta cracked me up, as the exact same sticker can be seen in the U.S., except it states: English - learn to speak it!
The best sticker I ever saw in Mexico was in Juarez. It stated Silicio? Mujeres Mexicanas No Necesitan Silico! I think the question mark and exclamation marks were in front of the words though.
My personal favorite bumper sticker was one I slapped on the first new car I ever owned - a 1987 Jeep Cherokee. It simply stated: Quiet, Day Sleeper. I thought it was hilarious.
Every so often I have an idea for a bumper sticker, usually in response to other bumper stickers I see. A few weeks ago I was driving through Boulder and the idea for a bumper sticker proclaiming: Tibet Is Not Free - But you can get two-for-one on Wednesdays came to me.
Com' on, that's funny, you know it is.
On occasion, an idea for a bumper sticker will pop into my head spontaneously, such as this one from a few weeks ago: So, It's Cats Then?
See, I have a friend who tells me she's giving up on relationships, and that was my reply to her, and, well, I thought it would make a funny bumper sticker.
No?
Actually, over the years I've had quite a few ideas for bumper stickers. Now is the time I think I'll share them with the world.
Disclaimer! I have been a registered everything at one time or another - Republican, Libertarian, Democrat, Independent, etc. I feel no shame for voting for the person I feel is best qualified and not towing a party line. if any of these ideas offend you, well, too bad.
BTW, Anything in parenthesis is a comment, not meant to be on the actual bumper sticker.
Without further ado:
Suppress Rebellion (It would be really funny to see this on the back of a limo)
Tolerance...Unless You Support Something I Don't
Over The Roll Or Die! (with a little drawing of a roll of toilet paper)
Constitutional Government Rules!
They're All Lawyers And Millionaires And You're Not
Your Parents Are So Happy You Didn't Marry Me
If You Don't Like 'Em, Demonize 'Em
The Status Quo Is Republicrats. Vote Libertarian
If You're Not Outraged...You Probably Realize How Good We Actually Have It.
I Support Your Right To Drive Even If I Disagree With Your Bumper Stickers
I Do All My Hunting And Gathering At Costco
Lucky To Be American (I've traveled the world...we are very, very fortunate indeed)
Fortunately For Me, My Grandparents Immigrated.
Vote For Somebody You'll Be Proud To Blame
Gullibility Is Not A Family Value (I have a suspicion this would piss off everybody regardless of political bent)
Indigenous Terran
I Refuse To Allow Entertainers To Tell Me How To Think
Vote! Cocktail Party 2012
I'm Easily Swayed, And I Vote!
Divide And Conquer - amazing how that still works, eh?
I'm Down With Gravity
Os gallwch ddarllen hwn Diolch Mae Hyfforddwr Iaith Gymraeg (That translates to "If You Can Read This Thank A Welsh Language Instructor")
That last one was seriously funny and you know it.
Here's a few more:
My Opinion Is So Important It Has It's Own Sticker
Practice Random Acts Of Sexual Depravity...With Me.
Everything's More Fun In A Bright Pink Bunny Suit
What Would A Sane, Rational, Level-Headed, Non-Denominational, Mature, Intelligent Person Do?
Life Is Hard, Suck It Up
Middle-Aged White Heterosexual Males Need Love Three, Occasionally Four Times A Month
There you go, my bumper sticker ideas, as lame as anyone's I suppose. Someday I've got to get some of those 3 Blocks in a little oval stickers printed up. They are a riot, really.
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