Black Friday Is For Suckers

If the title of this little diatribe didn't clue you in, I'll make it crystal clear. I hate Black Friday.

Which, for someone who has been involved in retail sales for almost three decades, and who embraces Capitalism and the free-market economy, may strike some as a bit of a juxtaposition.

But I have to be honest with myself and the world. I absolutely loathe Black Friday.

Not due to the unnecessary traffic out on the roads, not because of the nauseating levels of raw, unbridled consumerism given free-reign, not on account of the incredibly vulgar displays of greed-motivated, callous, rude, behavior by sleep-deprived people, and certainly not because it portrays the free-market economy in the worst possible light. 

No, my loathing for Black Friday is simply because of how normally intelligent people have been manipulated into sacrificing a holiday I hold near and dear - Thanksgiving - in order to boost the year-end bottom line for the largest corporations on the planet...and how indurate the people who run the large retail stores are about it.

Vance Packard has to be doing the freakin' Watusi in his grave.

At one time, Black Friday was relatively sane. The stores almost all opened at 6:00 AM, and each store would feature a smattering of promotional items in advertisements to draw in shoppers.

In the last few years, however, Black Friday has started earlier and earlier. Wal-Mart opened at 8:00 PM on Thursday last year, which of course meant every other freakin' big box store had to do the same or risk losing sales, and concurrent with the earlier opening time, bigger and more extravagant promotions are being advertised to entice shoppers to buy more shit no one really needs.

Which is stupid, especially since, well, since it's 2012. Freakin' 2012! Most of us have computers, must of us have the ability to define what is and what is necessary in our lives, and what is and what is of value.

But Black Friday seems to throw the ability to make those distinctions out the window for a large number of people, and it's just frustrating to witness.

Participating in a Black Friday promotion is no longer a matter of getting a jump start on gift buying for the holidays, it's being an accomplice to a gross distortion of everything the holidays are supposed to be about.

The Black Friday promotions these days also reek of laziness on the part of the major retailers. How difficult is it to create a false sense of urgency for a sale by limiting availability for a low-priced item to few ungodly hours on what is meant to be a national day of reflection and Thanksgiving? 

Want to save the economy? Want to save your job? Do not shop on Black Friday, and if you work for a company that has ridiculous hours for Black Friday shopping, walk off the job.

Seriously, take back your life. Stop allowing the world's largest retailers to enslave you.

If the promotional brain trusts of the world's largest companies can't find a way to earn a profit that doesn't involve working their employees like 18th-century indentured servants on the one day of the year that is set aside to express gratitude for whatever blessings one has, then screw 'em.

Protest with your feet, as the Brit's say.

If you feel the need to purchase gifts for friends and loved ones for the Christmas holiday, do your gift shopping at small, local businesses during good ol' regular shopping hours.

Hell, stop buying useless gadgets for your friends and family and give of yourself - take someone out to a nice dinner at a local restaurant, help somebody paint a room or complete some other home improvement project, treat a friend who lives on a tight budget to a few oil changes.

The above in no way constitutes gift suggestions for my friends...seriously.

Give yourself your freedom, and not just of choice, but of the mind. Stop being a crap-buying puppet.