It is 3:30am, Sunday morning
Time once again for the cat Olympics
This morning's main event is the Catathalon
That most demanding of cat Olympic events
Combining speed, strength, skill, and of course grace
The cat begins his approach
Over the tricky cold tile floor on the lower level
To the short but treacherous run up
The small flight of stairs leading to the kitchen
A daring, powerful leap onto the counter
The compulsory walk along the counter top
Requisite stalking of items in the fruit bowl
Followed by a spectacular jump onto
Imaginary prey between the oven and the trashcan
Almost loses a full point for a sloppy landing
A quick recovery puts the cat in the living room
Without hesitation he is between the blinds and the window
Walks along the sill as if he was born to it
A collective gasp as he negotiates the leap from the sofa
Onto the console table a full five feet away
Without disturbing a single picture frame
He weaves his way through the nick-knacks
Carefully timing his dismount
He launches himself into space
Alighting perfectly onto the third stair tread!
Like a rocket blasting off from Canaveral
He is up the stairs in less than 2.003 seconds
With an impressive combination of scampering
And exquisitely controlled slide
And exquisitely controlled slide
He successfully traverses the length of the hall
Losing 1/10 of a point for failure to dislodge the runner
A moment of difficulty pushing the bedroom door open
That could cost him with the judges
Doesn't slow him down for long
Within moments he is leaping onto the dresser
Then, with an impressive burst of power, onto the armoire
With a confidence born from years of practice
He walks to the far edge of the towering armoire
A full 77 inches from the ground
He hunches down...hind legs tense...and lift off!
He nails it! A flawless four point landing!
Right in the middle of the stomach of the sleeping human....
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