He was once in the habit of attending the funerals of suicides
Just so that he could tell their coffins he knew exactly how They felt
Alone, unsatisfied, betrayed, disconsolate, angry
Tired
Of life, of people, of trying, of failing, of not being
Anything
Of watching the scum of the earth win
Always
Of watching wonderful people lose
Always
He would stand there
Wondering
Why it wasn't his funeral
Why hadn't he been the one to
Jump off the bridge
Throw himself into the ocean
Put a gun to his head
Swallow the rest of the pills in the bottle
String the rope over the rafters
Run the hose from the exhaust pipe
Drive right through the guardrail
Step in front of the train
One day it occurred to him
That since he hadn't done any of those
Hadn't even considered doing any of the them
Then it was rather obvious
That he didn't really know how they felt
So he stopped going to the funerals of suicides
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