This morning's visit was good though, in spite of my apprehensions. Mom and I talked for almost a full hour and a half before she grew tired and needed to take a nap.
My Mom is still very keen of mind, and as cognizant of the world as she ever was. Her body is betraying her though, and that right there, that combination of her mind being sharp and her body being decimated by decades of cancer-fighting via chemotherapy, is what makes visiting her in the hospital so incredibly difficult.
Being able to spend and hour and a half engaged in conversation with my Mom this morning, listening to her talk about current events or reminiscing about life thirty or forty years ago, was simply fantastic and made for a good day.
But knowing that mornings like this are not the norm, and will get rarer and rarer in the weeks or months ahead...that made it a pretty tough day too.
I know that feeling, experienced it when I visited my Stepdad this past July, a week before he passed. Seeing the strongest man I ever knew laid out on a hospice bed in the middle of the living room, having to rely on his selfish bitch of a wife for every little thing, was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. My thoughts are with you and your family. Be good to yourself and each other.
ReplyDeleteThank you, that is very much appreciated
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