A few choice curses that have occurred to me:
May you outgrow all of your favorite shirts.
May your entire internet search history be included in the next Wikileaks release.
May your neighbor's incessantly barking dog lose it's voice the minute the Animal Control officer finally shows up.
May the Referee always turn towards the foul play only when you are striking back.
May the smallest husk from the last piece of popcorn you ate be forever stuck in the furthest reaches of the back of your mouth.
May you experience the soul-crushing anguish of a thousand unpublished writers.
May you always be referred to as "capable of doing better".
May every haircut you ever receive be progressively worse than the previous one.
May your favorite pair of shoes make fart sounds as you walk with your dream crush on your first date.
May you spend your life getting the joke fifteen minutes after everyone else.
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