Bernie Makes A Car Buying Decision

The salesperson had made quite the presentation, pointing out the various features and the benefits derived from them, as well as producing paperwork that certified the low cost of maintenance and the fuel economy.

Bernie was smitten with everything about the small car, from the twin chrome tailpipes to the four-speed manual transmission. His eyes danced around as he took in the graceful curve of the streamlined body as it sloped towards the rear bumper - a tubular bumper that sported more chrome, of course.

"Yes," thought Bernie, "this is the perfect automobile for me. Not only does it meet my expectations for comfort - man the headroom is unbelievable - it's been proven to be safe and reliable. I'm buying it!"

The salesperson returned with a large folder of the necessary purchase documents. In less than thirty minutes Bernie was going to be a proud owner of a brand new car. His smile was literally identical to the smile he had on his face when he first met his wife Cynthia.

The smile was not just reflective of his level of happiness, it also indicated an extreme level of personal satisfaction, for he knew that his purchase of this car would have the same effect on his parents, especially his father, as his decision to marry the beautiful blonde, blue-eyed, pale-skinned Cynthia had. 

Bernie smiled even wider as he drove off the car lot in his shiny new deep green car with a full tank of gas. He ran his right hand over the curve of the dash while gripping the two-spoke steering wheel with his left.

"This is just going to give the old man a heart attack," Bernie mused. "I'll never have to put up with his overlording BS again."

Thus Bernard Donald Koepelman became the first American Jew to purchase a Volkswagon Beetle, the car Adolph Hitler had directed Ferdinand Porsche to build so that the average German would be able to take full advantage of the new countrywide road network he was building. 

A new road network that was built to accommodate even the heaviest of military vehicles, tanks included.