Thursday The Dumbwaiter Went Off The Pulleys

     It was quite the day, yesterday. 

   Early in the morning while I was at work, the local Police searched for a dangerous fugitive on the loose in the neighborhood, trudging through the drainage canals, crawling over fences into backyards, knocking on doors to search homes and garages (no word on if they found him or not). 

    I received a barrage of texts messages from friends and neighbors as that was going on, made for interesting reading. My neighbors are all of a decidedly "Make My Day" stripe.

   Later in the day after completing a small job offsite we were riding back into Denver and we passed a crime scene in front of a 7-ll convenience store. The Sheriff's had all entrances and exits blocked off (parking lot as well as store) and little yellow triangular evidence markers were scattered about on the ground indicating shell casings. Behind two deputies who were examining a car with all the doors and the trunk open lay a body covered in a blanket.

    Then a late afternoon storm erupted, bringing rain of biblical proportions (nearly two inches in the hour between three and four o'clock qualifies as biblical - hell, the monthly average for June is barely two inches). As the ground had already been saturated by the 5.5 inches of rain that had fallen in June to date, the water ran off into the streets and drivers had to battle floods - then the hail started falling, about the size of grapes.

   Oh the humanity.

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

 

The Leading Lights Among The Miscreants

 He treated her as if she was the most precious of gems

And everyone considered her the luckiest of women

Until he absconded with all of her money

And her best friend

She treated him with a reverence usually reserved for Kings

And everyone considered him the luckiest of men

Until she abandoned him and their children

For a man she met in the dragon's den

Globeville, The Volvo and The Building

 

Instructions For Proper Use Of A Chair

   For my birthday this year my friend JER gifted me with a chair. Not just any chair mind you, but a genuine Chinese-made replica of the vaunted Eames chair, my third favorite chair of all time. 

   The chair came in two boxes and required assembly - basically you bolt the ottoman to the ottoman base, then put the seat and back of the chair together, then attach those two components to the seat base - all of which might take 15 minutes...then attach the padded armrests to the left and right sides...which takes, oh, I don't know, let's say an hour and a half.

   Seriously.

   The armrests do not go together as easily as the instructions indicate. The instructions are a lie. The unwritten secret to putting the padded armrests on is using a carpenters clamp to securely hold the armrests in place and snug them up close enough to the threaded holes to allow the short bolts to make sufficent contact to allow screwing them in.

   Which is not indicated anywhere in the assembly instructions.

   But this post is not about how fun assembling the chair and ottoman was. This post is about the pictogram instructions for the proper use of the chair and ottoman.

   What we are talking about here is the required safety labels.

   Safety labels are the law, and as such have been a boon to mankind. They have saved countless thousands from the dangers of using a hair dryer while showering, placing small pets in microwaves to dry them off after bringing them in from the rain, and standing on aluminum ladders situated in puddles of water that happen to be located directly below the live electrical wires you happen to be splicing together.

    So, here for your enjoyment are the safety pictograms that came with the chair.

   This one clearly indicates that one should never sit on the edge of the chair while having "the talk."

This one is a little more vague - it's either "Do not practice your Frontside Mute Slob handplant on the ottoman", or it's "The ottoman is not intended for use while breakdancing."

    No question about this one as it's the universally recognized "The chair is not my son" dance step from the great MJ, which obviously should never be practiced on the chair.

   Finally, we have to most important safety pictogram, the one that depicts the proper use of the chair and ottoman as being the reading of the newspaper while relaxing with your feet up.

  No word (or picture) on whether that includes utilizing your laptop or other electronic media transference devices as well.

Barry's First Thoughts After The Promotion

   He stood looking out the south-facing window of his corner office on the 10th floor and literally basked in his accomplishment.

   Relished it, with an extremely tangible sense of satisfaction.

   If anyone was looking at him from any of the other tall buildings that surrounded the one he was in, they might think he was pondering a momentous business decision or pondering the future of the company he was now the CEO of.

   But he wasn't. 

   He was recollecting his youth and all the people he had been surrounded by that had told him he would never amount to anything. His Father and his step-mother, several of his so-called friends, the local police, a Judge or two, and several of the women he had dated.

   For almost a half hour now his mind had not been geared toward gratitude. He hadn't considered even for a moment the many people he had been surrounded by in his youth who had encouraged him and had told him he could accomplish anything he set his mind to - his brother and sister (even his step-brother), several of his teachers, a court-appointed therapist, several of his friends (so-called and otherwise), and especially the girl that eventually became his wife.

   Which was unusual for him, as he had never been one to not acknowledge those people who had been there for him when it really counted, when he really needed them - and even when he really didn't.

   However, for reasons he could not begin to understand, this morning, a mere 25 minutes since being awarded the promotion he had been working toward for nigh-on 17 years, his mind was filled with thoughts and images of those who had never encouraged him, had never had any faith in him.

   He shook his head slowing as he stared out at the clear blue sky and spoke aloud a thought that occurred to him.

   "Is this what every person who ever stood in this spot on their first morning in this office had running through their head or is it just me?"

Get Thin Or Get Fat...Quickly!

   Two competing advertisements in a then popular magazine from the 1930's...the first ad was on page 3, the second ad was on page 5...proven results in mere weeks!

Globeville Riverfront Art Center Compound

   Art is a dangerous business and in order to keep the Globeville Riverfront Art Center (e) safe and/or cozy, a concertina wire topped wall / fence has been erected around the premises, which gives it the look of a...compound.

   The question is, does that wall/fence keep those who would create mayhem out...or keep those who would create mayhem in?

   I kid! I kid! That's just a remnant from the previous occupants of the site, a business that did indeed have to keep those with ill intentions from entering.

   The GRACe is home to a large numbers of artists & creatives, though I didn't run into any of them during my visit. Maybe it was the rain keeping them all inside. 

   There didn't seem to be anyone home though, so I just took a quick look around, snapped a couple pics of the eerily empty/quiet place, and got outta there - no need to take the chance of running into a herd of art zombies...

A Deal So Good Someone Made A Bumper Sticker To proclaim It To The World

 

Denver Nuggets 2023 NBA Champions Mural Created By Detour

Terrific spray-paint mural created in honor of the Denver Nuggets winning the 2023 NBA Championship

Thomas "Detour" Evans, the fantastically talented artist who created the mural

Little Baby Doll Pinhead Hood Ornament

 

Please Have Correct Change Or Valid Monthly Bus Passes Ready

   In an effort to bring greater inclusivity to the Denver metro area, the Rapid Transit board has decided to switch the route numbers displayed on all buses servicing the intercity areas (Arvada, Aurora, Boulder, Golden, Lakewood, Littleton, Northglenn, Thornton, etc.) from traditional Arabic numerals to Roman numerals. 

   Thus, the 260 bus will now be known as the CCLX bus.

   Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Beating The Heat In Colorado

   Well, they did it. The professional basketball club that is based in Denver known as the Nuggets are now also known as the 2023 NBA Champions. 

   And, as professional basketball in the U.S. is an international game (the top two players on the Nuggets are actually from countries other than the U.S.) this championship can pretty much be chalked up as a true world championship.

   The watch party I attended was a great, happy time (except for the parts when everyone was shouting at the television due to perceived slights by the officiating crew), and the celebration of the win was a terrific, happy ruckus. 

   Very smart scholarly types have noted that professional sports are able to boost the spirits of the local fanbase in ways which go beyond all reason. People take pride in being allied with the professional athletes involved as if the light of their glory somehow reflects on them as well. 

   In my humble opinion that is a good thing - heck, anything that makes people happy that doesn't have negative side-effects such as drugs and alcohol often do is an extremely great thing in my book.

   Get those endorphins pumping Colorado, the Nuggets are world champs!

Take Off Ugly Fat & Feel Good Doing It!

   Advert found in an 75-year old then-popular magazine...for an implement that will assist women (and men) with weight loss...a hand-held electric massager...your own private masseur at home...apply over most any part of the body.

   Mailed direct in discreet packaging, Underwriter Laboratory approved

 

The Old Ballgame On A Rainy Day

 

   Went to the Rockies vs Padres game yesterday - was hoping for a San Diego sweep - that didn't happen.

   Big Tuna, Mad Dog and I sat in Mad Dog's seats (which are impossibly great) and enjoyed most of the day until the top of the 9th - that's when the rain came, and it came with a fury.

  Pad's had played a great game (Snell pitched a terrific 6 innings) and it looked like the Friars would be able to maintain some long-needed winning momentum...but no. 

   The rain caused a long game delay and the Rox were able to come back and snatch the victory after play resumed.

   Ouch. 

The Overly Competitive Father's Retro Gaming Advice

   "Technology is wonderful, son, but it's no substitute for experience. If you want to be the best, you have to get out there and engage with the best, play with the best, compete with the best. The world is not going to do you any favors, not going to shower you with luck, good or bad. It's all going to come down to how hard you practice, how dedicated you are to the game, how committed you are to giving maximum effort on a consistent basis."

   "Dad...all I want to know is how to play Checkers good enough to beat Tara Rae, at least once."

   "At least once?! Look Sport, you don't learn anything in order to be good at it just the once. You have to want to be consistently good at it all the time, no matter the level of competition you might have to face. You have to be prepared, son, prepared! You think Marion Tinsley, the greatest Checkers player in the history of the world, was satisfied with beating little Billy whatzisname when he was in second grade just the once? Heck no! He wanted to own little Billy, absolutely destroy him each and every time they faced off in front of the Checkerboard - and everyone else who dared face him, anytime, anyplace! That's the attitude you have to embrace! That has to become your foremost goal in life!"

   "Okay...so, do you know any online Checkers playing games or should I ask Mom?'

Put Down Your Shovel & Pull Up A Chair, The Show Is About To Begin

 

   After a long, hard day of shoveling the rain off the sidewalk, nothing beats being able to put down that shovel and sitting a spell in the good 'ol Laz-E-Boy. Toss in a cool, refreshing, tall glass of sweetened ice tea and the evening paper and you have achieved urban bliss. 

Murals On The I-70 Bridge Over Lincoln Ave In Globeville

   This morning I received an email from a friend who regularly reads this blog asking me if I had spent yesterday looking at random rants written on bridge abutments.

   I replied that, no, I had not spent the day doing that. I in fact had only stopped at the particular bridge where I saw the random rants featured in yesterday's post because I wanted to get pics of the murals painted on the bridge abutments.

   Here are the pics of the bridge abutment murals, both from the north facing and south facing sides.

Ramblings Written On Bridges

    Saw a couple of interesting messages/poems/ramblings under a bridge today. Both signed only with the initials "A.K.F.

    The one above reads (as best as I can determine);

     I sulb self gone bei 2023, spitting & spewing what I know to be truth: 

     Chosen from the masses because I think I'm highly favored to allow

     my wiggle to teach the few with pray

     There are so very many yet only one and even the people will be 

     doubters and nay-sayers - as I travel the world, soul surfing

     in search of those who would condemn and punish in the

     end the mask wearing betrayers

     J.C. himself told me in days ahead they will do

     you the same: but brother he said, "you shall overcome

     your trials also, the __ evil one knows you by name."

     Worry not brother of mine it pales sadly to 

     your sacrifice only you use shall achieve pure love & good

     but my ranting and raving will also not be understood.

     Still an all I trust & believe to be righteous, by our father

     and your spilled blood unto death I will speak of life: an even if the

     flames burn my flesh, even the cold painful hurt will not stay sway me 

     from doing what is right...

                                               A.K.F. 

                                              2023

 

   There's an obvious biblical influence in what A.K.F. has scrawled on the wall - I'm picking up a strong Book of Nehemiah vibe

   The second one was across the street on the other side of the bridge, and was given the title, "One Bright Morning"

     

   It was printed a little more clearly, so this may be bit more accurate:

                                           One Bright Morning

                           I will dance upon tulips while planting

                    multicolored roses, as I also soul surf

                    most of my spare time: I've seen beyond to look

                    within, could really use some rather then lose them all

                    the smoke far off in the distance is truly mine

                    If none see me weed will they know that I cry

                    One bright morning, one bright morning at a time:

                    oh how sweet the sound must be if he inhabits the

                    the prayers of the people who must be blind

                                                                                                   A.K.F.

                                                                                                    2023

   The above little ditty is both biblical (well, religious - One Bright Morning is the title of a Christian folk song/hymn) and reminiscent of Bob Marley (the Rastaman chant) Of course, quite a few songwriters, poets, novelists, etc. have used those very words as titles or lyrics or parts of sentences.

   It was even part of a childhood rhyme ("One bright morning, in the middle of the night..." C'mon, you must remember that one).

   I cannot begin to imagine what motivated A.K.F. to take the time to put pen to concrete abutment and share these thoughts with the world, but I have to admit it's a nice change from the usual graffiti one sees on bridge abutments.