The Laws Of Inaction

                      It is never too late to adopt an inactive lifestyle

The laws of inaction are closely related to the laws of procrastination, but not so closely related that they are interchangeable. They are more like cousins who send each other Christmas cards every other year or so.

The laws of procrastination deal with tasks that you have to accomplish but keep putting off in favor of doing something that isn't real important, in fact probably unnecessary, but much more appealing than the task that needs to be done.

For example, going to the bookstore to browse instead of raking up all the damn leaves in the front yard, or reading about the difficulties Director William Wyler had with the crucifixion scene in his 1959 production of Ben Hur instead of creating an excel spreadsheet for an inventory transfer. That's procrastination in a nutshell.

The laws of inaction are a whole different ball of wax. The laws of inaction deal with stuff you could be accomplishing, and in all likelihood want to accomplish, but you don't actually have to accomplish in order to maintain the status quo.

And, truth be told, you simply just do not want to get off your lazy ass to do it.

For example, going to the gym to better your fitness or cutting back on the junk food intake. Those are two activities that would definitely benefit a person but are not required of anyone not making a living in sport, and it is so much easier to sit on the sofa munching Fritos while watching reruns of Para Volver A Amar.

Without further explanation then, here are the Laws of Inaction

1) Never plan anything. In fact, never plan to make a plan to do anything.

2) Never write down a list of things you would like to do

3) Do not join any group that requires showing up and doing something. 

4) Do not publicly (or privately) state that you would like to do anything specific. Ever.

5) Try not to get too focused on any one thing. Keeping things vague and indeterminate is always best.

6) Inspiration is to be avoided at all cost. Do not read any books from the self-help section. Ever. Inspirational movies are out, too.

7) Surround yourself with as many distracting gadgets, toys, games, etc., as you possibly can. Cover every available surface at work and home with them.

8) Sit and stay seated. Standing can only lead to action, and that is not what we're shooting for here.

9) Never commit to anything. That could lead to procrastination, and procrastination is bad.

Hmmm...there are a few more laws of inaction, I'm sure of it. However, it's almost time for Para Volver A Amar. Gotta go.

I suppose I could just DVR the show, but that would require learning how to operate the DVR. Screw that.