For a little while the two of them sat staring at the large flat screen that hung from the wall in the corner. The waitress had brought them both fresh drinks twice, and the appetizer had long been decimated.
"Wow, it's taking forever for our food. Did they have to send out for flour to bake the buns? This is ridiculous." Audrey's face unconsciously screwed up into a sneer as she spoke.
"Eh, it hasn't been that long. We've only gone through two sets of commercials. Besides, we did ask for well done. Give 'em a few minutes."
Dan stared quietly at Audrey's profile for a full half minute before turning back to the television. He had no idea what was going on in the game, as his mind had been focused on a pressing question that kept popping up, begging for an answer.
The question that Dan persistently asked himself was: "When are you going to tell her to take a hike?"
The genesis, or causation maybe, of the question was a six month period of seemingly non-stop whining on the part of Audrey. It seemed that no matter what they did, no matter where they went, no matter how much was spent, it was never good enough. Not luxurious enough, not glamorous enough, not over-blown, over-hyped, or over-priced enough.
Dan had come to the end of his rope. He was keenly aware of it. He could be a coward and take the easy way out - have an affair, forgetfully leave tell-tale, obvious clues - work late every night, make excuses that don't stand up under close scrutiny, maybe leave a slip of paper with a scrawled out phone number in a pair of pants.
He had taken that route before, he knew how to work it.
That, however, was not what Dan had in mind this time. Audrey was the 11th woman that Dan had been romantically involved with for a significant period of time since he was 13 years old (Dan quantified "significant" as being of at least two months duration and sexually involved), and this time he was going to be as direct and honest as possible.
Audrey stared over at Dan. She knew something was not right. He wasn't his usual acquiescent self. What the hell was it going to be this time? The shoes or the dress? Maybe it was the new coffeemaker. He had an odd attachment to the old coffeemaker she had thrown out.
"Audrey," Dan said in as plain a tone as he could muster. "I've been wondering something."
"Crap," thought Audrey, "Here we go."
"Yes?" She replied, in as inoffensive a manner as she was capable. "What about?"
"What the hell," And here Dan paused briefly for effect, "Is your problem?"
Audrey sat in her chair momentarily stunned. That was not at all what she expected to hear. She composed herself quickly. She had no idea what Danny boy was up to, but she was ready to see it through with guns blazing.
"What do you mean? With the service? It's lousy. There are tables that sat down after we got here that are already eating and we haven't seen our waitress in 15 minutes."
"She was here with these drinks less than 5 minutes ago, and the only people who came after us with food are those two over there that ordered salads. But that is not what I meant. I meant...what the fcuk is it with the constant complaining about everything we do? Why the hell do I have to listen to you criticize anything and everything when we go out? Do you view me as some kind of whipping post for the world? 'cause if you do, well, I'm not in this for that."
With a gaze intense enough to scare a cat, Audrey glared at Dan. "What? What the fcuk did you just say? Did you just call me a whiny bitch? Screw you!"
With considerable effort, Dan held his desire to get up and walk out of the restaurant in check. He looked over at the fuming Audrey and counted down from twenty.
"At no point in what I just said did I call you a whiny bitch, but if that's what you heard, so be it. I really don't care one way or the other - you hear what you want to hear, I've figured that much out. I just want a straight answer to my question. Seriously. Are you just sick of me? Did you meet some new guy who excites you and you want out? I don't really care if that's what it is, just tell me the truth - why the hell have you been, to use your words, a whiny bitch for like the last six fcuking months?"
Time was moving slower than the waitress now. Audrey stared at the TV as her thoughts rumbled through her mind. "Fcuk this. I've done everything for this asshole. He uses me like I'm a damn sex doll whenever it pleases him, I fcuking do his damn laundry! Screw this! Who the fcuk does he think he is! Accuses me of cheating! I should leave now, fcuk him. No man is worth this crap!"
Dan spoke again, calmly, clearly. "Just tell me the truth. I can handle it, believe it or not. But I cannot take this attitude anymore, so if you ever thought for even a second this thing we have was worthwhile. tell me the fcuking truth."
Suddenly, it hit Audrey like a lightning bolt in the ass.
"Okay," she thought, "I have over a year invested in this relationship. If it's over it's over, but I'm going to tell him exactly what's wrong with him, and the relationship. I don't care if he jumps off a bridge, he wants the truth, he's going to get it!"
Turning to face Dan she looked directly into the light blue eyes that had first caught her attention. She was distracted by the memory of their first meeting for a fleeting second, and then she refocused.
"The problem," Audrey spoke dryly, "Is you. If I complain or criticize, it's because you're not assertive enough to do it. How many times in the past six months have we gone somewhere and you have just accepted being treated as if we are an inconvenience to people we are paying money to wait on us, or sell us something, or assist us in anyway? Remember that time we went shopping for that suit for your sister's wedding and we waited for half an hour until someone helped us? And when we were shopping for my car - hell, every place we went you let every single salesperson show us cars I was in no way interested in - you kept saying that they were the professionals! Bullcrap! They were professional salespeople! They wanted to sell us what they had, not what I wanted. If I hadn't found my Jeep online we'd probably still be looking."
Audrey stared at Dan, braced for his response. She couldn't readily figure out if he had suddenly grew a spine or if he had just grown apathetic to their situation. She knew, however, that this was the tipping point. The question was, which way would it tip?
Dan stared right back at Audrey. His mind raced like it was lap 499 at the Daytona 500. She was right, and he knew it. He had been too patient with people, and much too tolerant.
But that was something that he instantly knew he was prepared to change. He had no idea if it was enough to save the relationship, and when he looked at her he knew he wanted to save the relationship, but it wasn't crucial to this epiphany. He had suddenly realized that Audrey was fcuking right! He hadn't been assertive enough! But things were going to change - in fact, Dan thought, the changes were already underway.
"You're right...I have not been nearly assertive enough. Where the hell is that waitress? Waitress!"
"Oh, hi, I'm sorry, I'll check on your order right away."
"No. don't. I appreciate that you have a few other tops to deal with - I worked in a restaurant myself, years ago. But there really isn't an excuse for the fact that we sat down at 8:10, and it's now 8:50. Give me the bill for our drinks and the appetizer and get me your manager. I know the kitchen isn't your responsibility, but I also know when I'm being jacked. No, no, just get me the bill and your manager. Thank you."
Audrey looked at Dan and almost drooled. "Damn," she thought, "if he can keep this up, we might have something."
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