Lie Around In The House & The Dirt

                                                        Yep, it'll put ya right in the gutter...

A-B-C-D-
Yeah, yeah
Hah!
My bedroom looks like a crackhouse
There's underwear on the floor and someone's blouse
And I don't think the cat will ever forgive me
If it ever comes back to the house
Well it's not like the damn thing earned it's keep
Never picked up around the place
Just lazed around all day
And let out an occasional meow
And tore up the arms of the sofa


How the hell can you laugh at a time like this
They're stripping men of their dignity, it's sad, done live on the TV
Soon they'll be creeping in your backdoor
Stopping your friends in the street they'll ask for an interview
Seriously, walk right in your backdoor!
They have a nefarious plan
To get to your significant other
And if you're single, divorced, or have nobody on the line
They'll claim they found an ex-lover


Ratings kings between 9 and 11, that'll get you another season
Refuse to let them through the backdoor!
A person has a right to remain silent
Be sure to lock the backdoor
The writer doesn't look his age and he's certainly not a sage
How can she think that
Stay away from Androcles, no way is he an apostle
He doesn't even look fat


Squirrels in the trees don't mind if you're lonely
They have no idea of space, they just want peanuts
Once the ice cream man left them all the spoils
When the fridge went on the blink
The squirrels didn't even think
Just grabbed up what they could and headed for the cubby's


However, that has nothing to do with cleaning up this zoo
Are you sure you locked the backdoor?
The shirts and pants are in the hamper when
You hear someone at the backdoor
Are you going to let them in?
Offer them an aperitif
Mix it up strong and stiff
As if it's the last one you'll ever make


Yesterday you were opening birthday presents
Boarding up the backdoor
Can you put another log on the fire?
But it's right next to the backdoor
So? Come on, come on!
It's right next to the backdoor
Come on, come on!
It's right next to the backdoor


Heard about some poor sap in Iowa
Kickin' back in El Cerritos
Don't let 'em in the backdoor
Don't let 'em in the backdoor
So? Come on, come on!
Freakin' drunks in the hallway
C'mon, c'mon
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Not to be discreet about it
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