Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012

Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012
Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas at Luche Libre Taco Shop in San Diego, March 2012

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Quest For A Good Life-Size Statue of Pinocchio At World Market Is Over!

 At the Las Vegas World Market 07/30/2012

World Market in Vegas, day one.

It is hot. Like, blast furnace hot.

Fortunately, the tragically underrated genius of Willis Carrier is not only in evidence at the World Market, it is used to maximum effect - three cheers for Mr. Carrier's gift to the world, air conditioning.

The market is crowded, though I'm not seeing the same numbers as last year. While most of the larger vendors are experiencing steady traffic, the smaller vendors, especially those in building A, the gift and accessories showrooms, do not seem to be as crowded as they were last year.

The parking garage is nearly full though - had to park on the 7th floor, which is the roof. Lost out on the shade of covered parking keeping the car cool, which is a tad disappointing.

It is only day one though, and that may simply be due to fewer people showing up early.

Tonight's mixer will be a much better indication of attendance, that, and how easy/difficult finding a parking spot will be tomorrow morning.

There is also the decided lack of a draw for a keynote speaker. Last year featured former President Bill Clinton, and there were definitely people here because he was here.

BTW, his speech was about as self-aggrandizing as any I've ever heard. 

I briefly toured building C, as that building is where the two informative seminars I wanted to catch were located.

It's nearly time for me to get to another seminar. Tomorrow I'll spend more time in buildings B and C, checking out what's new and exciting in the world of furniture.

Sounds like a hoot, doesn't it?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Give Me A Full Tank And A Six Pack

                    Not a bad legacy for a guy who didn't get going until he was in his forties

The road snakes out of the city
The horizon opens up sky high wide
Hills covered in trees look pretty
Got the setting sun as my guide
The radio is down to a few stations
All of them feature oldies and country
Beach Boys Good Vibrations
A tired DJ for company
Singing along with high harmonies
Mangling Brian's genius
Out of tune out in the boonies
Mike's voice makes me envious
In the miles of endless prairies
The clean air makes you delirious

Off ramp for a service station
Fill 'er up
Trucker's bumper sticker decry's taxation 
Don't concern myself with that
Want to make another hundred miles
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a small town up aways
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a small town up aways

Dashboard is a drumset
Wish it had a bit more bass
BTO You ain't seen nothin' yet
Big Semi ahead sets the pace
Figure he knows the road is open
Not a trooper in sight
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a small town up aways
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a small town up aways

Tomorrow I may be feeling wistful
For that girl I left behind
Maybe that's me being wishful
There's truth about love being blind
And I've got a few miles to drive
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a small town up aways
Be that much closer to the coast
There's a new town up aways

Saturday, July 28, 2012

What's So Great About The Olympics?

        Abstract sculpture of the Olympic rings near the foot of Montjuic, Barcelona Spain

   Everything, and it should be obvious. Thousands and thousands of the world's greatest athletes competing, pushing themselves and each other to be faster, higher, stronger.

   There are those who believe that sport is no longer essential to the human race in that the whole hunter/gatherer means of acquiring food, clothing & shelter has evolved to the point that most of the random, uncontrollable factors have been eliminated. Humans don't really have to develop hunting skills in order to provide for themselves or the tribe anymore, and since humans have learned how to rotate crops and control water via irrigation, gathering has been regulated to coupon clipping.

   Some say Sport has thus been regulated to being simply entertainment, which I suppose is true to a degree. However, it is a very small degree. Sport is still essential, and not just for the health benefits of keeping the body active.

   Sport is essential, in this man's opinion, for keeping the human spirit alive. Watching those who have been able to focus their energies on becoming the best there is in a particular event has encouraged and motivated millions to emulate them and better themselves.

   Is it human nature to instinctively appreciate those that excel? To want to watch greatness as it unfolds and then to somehow, someway claim association with that greatness (In the case of Olympic champions, it's usually nationalism, but when I was young I knew kids who had posters of famous athletes from different countries displayed in their bedrooms, so I'm drawing the conclusion that it crosses geopolitical borders.)

   Whether or not it is part of our shared DNA, the fact that people can be overwhelmed with euphoria watching a championship performance cannot be denied. Stadiums jam packed with strangers have spontaneously erupted in applause and loud cheering upon witnessing incredible athletic accomplishment.

    The celebration of excellence is decidedly life-affirming. By cheering on those who have worked hard, sacrificed, pushed themselves beyond all limits in order to become the best they possibly can be, we are celebrating the best of what the human race is capable of physically.

   We celebrate also those who are able to push themselves to greatness even if their bodies have become disabled through debilitating injury or congenital disorder, in the Parallel Olympics, more commonly known as the Paralympics which are now an integrated part of the Olympic games.

   That may be more inspiring than the Olympics themselves.

   The Olympics represent the best that the human race is capable of. Healthy competition and sportsmanship. Participation, organization and cooperation. Tenacity and triumph over adversity.      

   I just wish they could come up with better mascots. Seriously, two drops of steel with cameras for eyes? Makes the '96 Olympics mascot look good, and Izzy was horrible.

Friday, July 27, 2012

The Rats Are Getting Faster

                                 Follow, follow, follow...not all roads are worth following.

He called it a special independent spirit
Nothing was going to keep him from his due
An ambitious agenda
Going to force his way in if he had to
Had a plan, had a destination
Couldn't be stopped by the likes of you

Willing to work your fingers to the bone
Work and work and work
Nose to the grindstone
Never a vacation, never a break
Going to make him some money
Going to take and take and take

A man like that didn't regard patience as a virtue
Didn't have time to wait 
For opportunity to come around

He was never wrong

Could never have enough
Always grasping for more
Convinced that he was destined to be great
He was a greedy little bore

The gave him the best slab in the morgue
At the ripe old age of 38

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Coffee First, Then We Can Talk

               The San Rafael Swell along I-70 in Utah, Not far from the city of Green River

Laying here in bed 
Is sapping me of energy
It's as if an evil magician
Cursed me to a life of lethargy
Striped me of my ambition
And drained me of all vitality

I have tried to get up 
Maybe take a walk around the block
But the covers are holding me tight
It's as if I'm under a big rock
It's a force to powerful to fight
At least before six o'clock

Monday, July 23, 2012

Anthropomorphic Abstractions And Postminimalist Public Art

              Metal Sculptures created by Greg Wasil inhabit his yard in Lakewood, Colorado

Flavin was the mailroom type
Who liked to create with fluorescent lights
Smithson looked like he was playing in the dirt
What he actually did was manipulate the Earth
Reflected in Moore's undulating forms
Are the hills of Yorshire where he was born
Flying through a windshield as someone drove too fast 
Didn't deter Chihuly from working with glass
Assembling puzzles of wood and stuff she found 
Made Nevelson's work look like she was monkeying around
Bell's ghost boxes led him to look quite dapper
Got his face in the crowd on the cover of Sgt Pepper
The simplicity of her work revealed
Truitt romped through the color field
Rooms without a view
Gave Irwin something to do
Steel plate, bolts and I-beams
Gave Caro a means to express his dreams 
By a hare Flanagan was amused
to the point it was all he ever used
The Vatican liked Pomodoro's Sphere
Greenwood Village did too so they brought one over here
Rickey fell into a peculiar groove
He liked to make things that could move
As Mr. Calder did
Though his were supposed to be representative of the id

Saturday, July 21, 2012

What If...Reading Consumed A Thousand Calories An Hour?

                     What if...in another life, I had been encouraged to play football?

 Who doesn't play "What if?" I don't think I've ever met anyone who hasn't played some variation of the game, with themselves or with friends, aquaintances, etc.

   I play "What if?" constantly. I play it to extremes, both left and right. Over the years I've asked myself and my friends what I assume are universal "What if?" questions:

What if we are all just pawns in some inter-galactic chess match?

What if I had been born with ___________ superpower?

What if I had brown eyes?

What if I I could balance 57 pennies on my left elbow and catch them all in my left hand before they hit the ground after I had suddenly shot my left arm violently forward?

What if the next meal I eat is my last?

What if I have some incredibly awesome talent that is lying latent until I'm 80 or so, much like Grandma Moses?

What if I had been born in another country?

What if I had been born female?

What if I had been born deformed or disabled?

   To break up the monotony, I also ask a few esoteric "What if?'s":

What if I had been born with three arms?

What if I had twenty-four siblings?

What if I woke up one morning to discover I had grown large patches of hair all over my body?

What if I do one of those DNA tests and discover that I am not at all who I've always thought I am?

What if I get hit by lightning and wake up in a hospital and suddenly start to speak in a language that I had never studied, and insisted that my name was Fernando?

   Then there are the "What if?'s that I either have more questions about or attache stipulations to:

What if I had Chuck Lorre's wit? Would I also be saddled with his ego?

What if I looked exactly like Bob Dylan, but with a voice that sounded exactly like Suzanne Somers?

What if I had three fingers and a thumb on each hand? Would I have two large pupil-less eyes?

What if the world had a red sky? Would decidious tree leaves be purple in summer and light blue in the Fall?

What if Steve Martin had been born and raised in Germany? Would his humor translate well?

What if there was a food that I could eat that would only provide exactly the amount of calories I would expend on a given day, preventing me from ever gaining or losing weight? Would I get sick of it like I got sick of corn dogs?

What if I had become an insurance professional? Would I be wearing dark blue suits with red ties?

   The hours I've wasted with this little game...what if?

Friday, July 20, 2012

A Mad Man Brings Devastation To Aurora

                In the Media encampment outside Aurora Towne Center   
Last night they were enjoying themselves, enjoying the company of others like them, happy to watch the conclusion of a saga featuring an imaginary hero who fought mad men.

Then a real mad man, someone driven insane by whatever didn't work for him in society, decided he would strike out at that society, would take the lives of innocents, would take the innocence of those that survived, would scar forever the lives of their families and the members of their communities.

The ones who were taken, the ones who survived, the families of those that died last night, the ones who are either numb, blind with anger or ripped apart by unimaginable sadness, are the only ones who matter now.

The mad man will never have his name spoken or written here. He is less than unmentionable, he is less than...anything.

Those who survived and their families and friends will spend the rest of their lives marveling at how lucky they got that night. They will recount the terror and panic, if not aloud, then to themselves. They may feel relief, they may feel sadness, they may feel an odd sense of guilt for having survived.

Parents, mothers and fathers, have lost daughters and sons. 

Husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, best friends, casual acquaintances, co-workers...those 12 who lost their lives, that was them.

The guy in the cubicle down the hall, the clerk handing you back your change, the young woman who took your dinner order at the restaurant...that was them.

There are people who will miss them forever, who will never forget their smiles, laughter or tears.

There are people who will spend hours looking at pictures of them taken at birthday parties, weddings, graduation ceremonies, on camping trips or just when they had a camera in hand.

Those pictures will be cherished forever, along with cards, notes, gifts...everything and anything that can bring back however fleetingly the memory of time spent with them.

Grief is hard. 

It is sitting alone in the biggest, darkest room in existence, hearing the echo of your own heartbeat as if it's a sledgehammer attacking your soul. 

It is an eruption of anger as violent as the most powerful earthquake or volcano, racking every cell of the body with incomparable pain.

Grief of this magnitude is felt all over the world, everyday. But that abstraction does nothing for those in Aurora tonight, nothing.

Their hearts are broken, their lives are shattered. They have lost and they mourn.

I mourn with them. I mourn for them.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Chicken Tikka Masala On A Silver Platter

                  Curry from Heaven or somewhere damn close
                            Roasted chicken cut up 
                            Into bite-sized pieces
                            Immersed then in
                            A spicy marinade
                            Baked for a bit
                    Drown the chicken in a masala 
                                   Made with 
                    Coriander and maybe some ginger
                                   Definitely tomatoes 
                                   Possibly coconut cream
                                   Garlic if you like
                                   Some people even use 

                 Turmeric and paprika
                 Give it that orange color
                 And add just a bit more flavor to

                 Some say it's from India
                 Some claim it's Pakistani
                               (In Glasgow, they say it's from the west end)

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Advice I Wish I Had Been Given, Or Had Listened To If I Had Been Told...

             Please, come in, have a seat, make yourself comfortable...we need to talk.
I've been working on this for quite awhile, cobbling bits and pieces together as I either came across them or made a realization. If I ever had a son, this is the advice I would try to impart.

A daughter would get completely different advice. Why? Simple - because this advice is what I imagine Father/Son advice would be. This advice is in no particular sequence - I wrote it down as it came to me or as I found it. A lot of it is taken from the works of Baltasar Gracian, Ted Geisel and Theodore Roosevelt. 

Here we go.

Spend time with your fellow men. Get involved with a group that will create a sense of  belonging, well-being, stability, and security. Build connections with men who share your values, but do not be blind to others not like you but who have camaraderie, knowledge, and culture to share.

Your physical appearance is not a limitation. You may have bad acne, be over (or under) weight, have features you think are unattractive, etc. - do the best you can with what you have. Keep yourself clean (good, proper hygiene is a must), learn how to develop yourself physically through athletics and proper diet. 

The physically attractive are often over-valued by society when they are young, but as physical attributes fade, unfortunately so will how society values them. As you age, you will need to increase your market value by developing useful skills, confidence in yourself and your abilities, and emotional maturity. 

Keep the faith, however you chose it, and never, ever lose hope.

Develop the ability to focus on one project at a time. In any undertaking, start and work on that project until it is complete before starting another.

Never undervalue your worth. 

Develop some class. Staring is rude, interrupting is rude, being loud is rude. 

Learn to do the right thing at the right time. 

 If, as a man, you are regulated to the “just friends” status by a woman you desire very much, it is possibly because women often interpret excessive emotion and desire as too needy and possibly feminine. Most women have enough of their own emotions and neurosis to deal with and would prefer to not have you throw emotional baggage into the mix. Learn self-control in matters of emotion, and learn how to deal with emotionally challenging situations in a mature fashion

Stay calm, stay positive

Tolerance is a necessary virtue when dealing with people who are upset, but do not tolerate bullshit. If you are around people who are emotionally upset over nothing, find a way to distract them. If it’s the woman in your life, find out what takes her mind off her troubles - go for a walk with her, relate a funny story, take her dancing. If whatever you try doesn’t work, leave her alone. If it doesn’t stop in a reasonable amount of time, leave her. 

Infidelity is never, ever acceptable and cannot be justified.

Occasionally, it may take awhile to discover for yourself that you are being disrespected or taken advantage of by someone you like - infatuation is insidious like that. However, once you have made the discovery, it is your responsibility to yourself to leave that person immediately. And do not look back.

If a woman is using you physically to rescue her from someone, she will eventually use another man to rescue her from you. In short, if she cheats on him with you, she’ll eventually cheat on you with someone.

Jealousy plants the seeds of your own destruction. Jealousy is insecurity, and it has no place in your life. Learn to live with other people having more than you, learn to live with other men paying attention to your mate - if you’re treating your mate right, she will regard it as a compliment and only as a compliment - and so should you.

You are never too old to grow. Keep learning, keep doing. Stay active, challenge your mind.

Always hope for, and work toward, the best. Don’t settle.

Never take a side in an argument until you thoroughly understand both positions - thoroughly (Did I mention thoroughly twice? That's because it's important.)

Being able to compromise in situations that require it is a manly trait. Learn how to be flexible, learn to distinguish when you are right from when it’s just your ego wanting to be right.

When anyone compliments you, smile, say thanks. Do not act as if it’s the first time you’ve ever been complimented, esp. if the compliment is from someone you are trying to get to know better.

Your worries are nothing but residue from an emotionally unsettled time. There is nothing wrong. Even when something is wrong, nothing is wrong, it is just a situation that needs to be dealt with, so deal with it. Deal with your problems as they present themselves. Dreading the arrival of any potential problem is a tragic and useless waste of time.

If you try hard, life will always get better. Emotional wounds heal. 

Trains fall off the tracks with regularity, the economy goes up and down all the time. Ignore the Politicians and the doomsayers. Time has proven them wrong a thousand times over.

Self-pity is narcissism in disguise. People have a tendency to resent woe-is-me behavior. Never do it.

Both religious zealots and atheists can be (and often are) annoying. Keep both your beliefs and/or lack of belief to yourself. It’s deeply personal, and no one wants to hear it.

Never take advantage of or harm another fellow human being. The only justifiable reasons to harm another is self-defense or to protect another from harm. Learn to protect yourself, but also learn to react appropriately to threats real and perceived.

Men who talk too much get in trouble. Learn to shut up.

Depression is not an experience of pain, it is suppressed emotion of some sort - usually anger, fear, or doubt. Depression is a numbing strategy usually developed in childhood as a means of keeping one safe from pain brought on by emotional instability. An emotionally healthy person can allow themselves to feel anger, fear, doubt, etc. without reacting overtly to it. When you numb yourself to emotional pain through depression, and do not allow yourself to feel it, you are crippling your ability to feel joy and happiness.

There is no shame in seeking help when you are depressed, as there is also the possibility you suffer from a chemical imbalance. Modern medical science has made huge strides with that.

Smoking stunts emotional growth by inducing false calm and a mild euphoria. It works really well when you are young and life is easy, but the consequences are harsh. Take a close look at those over 40 who smoke, especially their faces.

All cultures are varied and have a lot to offer. However, be wary of those cultures that refuse to evolve and regulate any group of its membership to a subhuman status.

Do not have a child with a woman unless you have been with her for a number of stable years. If you have a child with an emotionally unstable woman, or you yourself are not emotionally stable, be prepared to support a family you will never enjoy and possibly never get to see.

Always leave them wanting more. Hold something in reserve for the next time out.

Sometimes your penis actually picks up on something you are blinding yourself to. If you cannot be aroused by a particular woman, that is your subconscious telling you that she is not right for you.

Never want a woman who does not want you. Learn to separate yourself from pointless desire. It is a waste of your time. 

Do not marry anyone who does not love you as much as you love her.

Honor is a very important abstraction. Don’t expect everyone to understand it, but never forget it’s importance.

Forget the mistakes you make. Wishing you had taken a different course of action, spoken different words, etc. will get you nowhere. Learn what you did wrong, store the lesson in your memory, and move on. Those who cannot let go of the past are condemned to wallow in it.

Fight for what you learn and believe is right. Avoid fashion in your opinions. Current trends change like the wind and changing with them reveals you to be of dubious character. Your integrity is your biggest strength. Do not allow others to compromise your principals. Develop a moral compass.

Be skeptical but not cynical. If someone presents an extraordinary claim, asks for extraordinary proof. Hell, if someone presents an ordinary claim, at the very least ask for ordinary proof.

Never hesitate to reconsider. Learn to calmly deliberate. Sometimes a second look at an offer, situation, problem or challenge will present a solution that wasn't evident at first glance.

Celebrate your accomplishments quietly. Loudly proclaiming or boasting of your success irritates the hell out of everybody and leads to unnecessary resentment.

This Is Your Life

   It is ending one minute at a time. Always bear that in mind, keep telling yourself that you can only physically live ONCE.

   It will help you understand that although life is hard there is never, ever a reason you should simply give up.

   If anything, the fact that life is hard should be a daily reminder that if you don’t do what you want and don’t push yourself to realize your dreams, you are wasting your life and…
   …once you die, that’s it.

   With that in mind, say NO to all the people that would try to manipulate you, get in the way of you chasing your dreams or your happiness. 

   Whether it’s bullies or blowhards in school, at work, or even at home - friends, mates, family, even parents, stop letting any of them dictate the course of your life.

   There are at the very least two kinds of people: those who try and possibly succeed, and those who just watch what others try to accomplish but sit on their asses without doing anything themselves - except envy those who try.    

   Those are the ones that try to knock down all who have the heart to rise to their dreams. They are jealous of those who are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. 

   The result of being around such people is negative. There is no reason to have people around trying to bring you down as you climb the ladder of success in life. 

   DON’T let anything stop you! Just believe you can, because if your dream is rational (If you’re 5' 8” and you want to be the center for the New York Knicks, realign your perceptions of reality), and you believe and want your dream hard enough, you can and will actually achieve it. 

   You may think that sounds impossible, but once you die, there is absolutely no hope of getting a chance to chase your dream. You need to fully embrace life, so think positively, do what your heart tells you and don’t listen to people who would try to bring you down.

To cut a long story short: 


   Don’t be a martyr, don’t be a loser.

Whether you not only die but also live, it’s up to you. 

Develop confidence. Confidence is comprised of self-esteem and self-confidence. You can achieve any and all rational goals you establish for yourself. Never be afraid to take risk when the calculations add up.

Be sure you clearly understand the word "rational".

Develop control. Control is comprised of self-control, patience, and discipline. People like a take-charge guy, but not a guy who has to be in charge all the time, and no one likes a controlling guy. Never over-react, and in fact, be slow to react at all. Apprise the situation carefully before taking appropriate action.

Be a challenge. No one likes a push-over. In relationships, go in slowly, stop, back-up. See if she makes an effort. Hang back as long as it takes. Never be afraid to say no when your values and truths are being compromised. This takes effort, but it pays off. Do not be afraid of losing her - if she doesn’t make an effort, she isn’t worth the effort.

Once you are in a relationship with the woman you want, there are four very, very important things you must never forget: 

1) Value her, be respectful. 

2) Show appropriate affection. Sex is not necessarily affection - learn how to be physically affectionate without treating her as if she was a toy. 

3) Pay careful attention to her when she really needs for you to listen . Learn to listen. Seriously.

4) Never forget that you are in a romance.

No woman has ever walked into a lawyer's office saying she wanted to divorce her husband because "My husband values me, is affectionate, listens to me, and is romantic.”

Care for those who share your life with you.

Oh, and all things in moderation, especially the mind and mood altering stuff.

P.S. Never wear stripes with plaid, unless you're in a band from Minnesota.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Movie Idea Pitch (This Is For You, Mr. Big-Time Hollywood Producer)

                                       "That's A Fine Choice Madame, To Die For."
                                               The Sofa

This is the story of a sofa. It starts at an upscale furniture store where a snobbish, mid-thirties woman is dragging her husband and an exasperated salesperson around shopping for the perfect sofa. 

She finally finds a frame she likes, then selects cushions (foam, down, innerspring, etc.), fabric, and throw pillows.

It is delivered three months later and is put in an elaborately decorated living room, where it fits in quite nicely.

A few years pass in a montage of shots showing that the sofa is rarely used but frequently dusted/vacuumed. 

The montage is interrupted every so often for shots of the woman’s daughter making out with various boyfriends and the woman catching her husband with a maid/house cleaner, and then one in which the husband catches the wife on the sofa with a pool boy.

After a period of maybe 4 years, the woman is once again in the same furniture store with the same exasperated salesperson, but a different husband (the pool boy) being dragged along. 

The woman mentions to the salesperson that she is getting rid of the old sofa and immediately the scene shifts to a shot of two guys loading the sofa into a truck and taking it to an apartment the daughter is sharing with two friends from high school- they’re all attending the same college about 50 miles down the road. 

We pick up the story with the sofa being hauled up three flights of stairs to the apartment the girls are sharing. It is placed as the sole piece of furniture in the living room, in front of a small TV mounted on the wall in front of the sofa.

We get another montage of shots, this time featuring all three girls making out on the sofa with various boyfriends (or girlfriends - it‘s 2012), a bunch of different people waking up on the sofa after various parties, a girl crashing on the sofa for a month and a half after leaving her boyfriend, lots of sex by lots of different couples, and a number of shots of the three girls watching different shows. 

A consistent shot of them all gathering every Tuesday for two straight years to watch a show they all like, and maybe a scene of an embarrassing failure of one of the girls trying to seduce another or a boy who is gay. The girls also have a cat for a short while that tears up the legs or maybe arms of the sofa.

In the girls third year of college, one of them has dropped out to follow some guy to Europe. The two remaining girls take on a new roommate who has a ton of furniture, so the sofa is sold, this time to two guys who share a small apartment.

The montage involving the two guys is simple - they play a lot of video games, get high and/or drunk, and have three or four sloppy attempts at making out with various women. They also get a dog about four months into ownership of the sofa, and the dog sleeps on the sofa, as well as peeing on all four corners. The guys at one point duct tape the arms that the cat scratched up. There are also shots of guys crashing out, and guys watching porno while whacking off.

The guys are evicted from the apartment after about a year, and they leave the sofa behind as they bail. The sofa ends up being taken home by one of the crew hired to clean up the apartment.

The guy who takes it home is a poor immigrant with no real possessions. He replaces three lawn chairs in his living room with the sofa. He has various friends come over to help him fix up the sofa - a friend who works for a steam cleaning biz cleans it for him, which makes it look fairly decent, and then a friend who works as an upholsterer in an autoshop replaces all the fabric the cat tore up with (miss-matched) swatches.

The montage of the fixed up sofa is basically his kids playing (making forts, etc.), his wife sewing or reading or watching soaps, and his friends and him watching sports on a really small TV.

The next destination for the sofa is a friends apartment, as the immigrant guy has saved up enough to buy a home and buy some new furniture.

The friend is kind of drug dealer seedy, and the montage shows a lot of miscreants either doing drugs or having sex with prostitutes.

The sofa is then abandoned in the apartment for awhile when the friend is arrested and hauled off to jail. The sofa is eventually tossed in a dumpster by the apartment manager.

A couple of guys in a truck see the sofa in the dumpster and rescue it, taking it to their trailer in some very seedy  area on the outskirts of town. The montage with the trailer involves the guys fighting with their women, and passing out - a lot. There is one scene where a guy is forced onto the sofa and cuffed by the police. There is also one very tender love scene with one of the guys and one of the women.

The sofa is left behind when the guys move out to go back to Michigan, but leaving the girls behind. The next people who move into the trailer are a very young couple - she might be an underage runaway. We see them having lots of sex on the sofa, but we also see her sitting up later crying quite a bit. The girl at one point does make the comment that she loves the sofa because it is so soft and comfy. 

Finally, one morning the guy wakes up and finds a note on the sofa from the girl stating she was going back to her family. The guy goes into a frenzy and accidentally catches the sofa on fire. He manages to get the fire out before the sofa is really harmed, but he has to get rid of it because of the smoke damage. He takes it to a swap meet with just about everything in the house. A sharp-eyed shopper recognizes the quality manufacturer of the sofa and buys it for $20.00.

The guy who buys the sofa takes it back to his garage where he takes it apart. The next scenes we see will be the guy buying new foam for the seats from one of the three girls who had the sofa in college (she works for a foam supplier), and buying fabric from one of the other girls (she works for a store like Joann Fabrics) who lived in the apartment, on the recommendation of the foam girl.

The next montage shows the guy completely rebuilding the sofa to a point where it looks new. He then takes it to his restored/antique furniture store.

One of the warehouse men is one of the two guys who had the sofa after the college girls had it. His buddy he lived with visits him at the store one day, and introduces him to his new girlfriend, the daughter of the woman who originally bought the sofa (the daughter was the girl who dropped out of college to go to Europe). All three of them sit on the sofa and remark how familiar it seems.

One of the girls who was left behind by the two guys who returned to Michigan comes into the store as they sit on the sofa. She is the girlfriend of the other warehouse man. She too remarks that the sofa they are sitting on looks oddly familiar.

The sofa is then shown being sat on by a bunch of different people, including the immigrant guy, his wife and their kids, the drug dealer seedy guy friend of his with a girlfriend/wife (the other girl who was with the Michigan guys - he’s cleaned up and doing well now)

The young runaway girl who left the guy who sold the sofa at the swap meet is shown looking at the sofa with her parents - two uptight religious types. The parents sit on the sofa and make the comment that they can’t imagine this sofa being in their home because it’s too soft. 

The two guys who returned to Michigan come in to the store to look at the sofa and they are now a gay couple. The guy who sold it at the swap meet is seen outside the store looking at the sofa through the window, a young girl with a baby at his side. He is heard telling her that someday they’ll have a sofa that nice.

The ex-husband of the original purchaser of the sofa comes into the store and looks at the sofa with his new wife - the housekeeper he was caught having an affair with.

Finally, the woman who originally bought the sofa is shown with an interior designer and yet another husband (maybe a different pool boy she had yet another affair with?) The Interior Designer is explaining how putting together a room with older pieces of furniture adds to the ambience of the house, as every piece brings with it the rich history of it’s former life. 

The statement the Interior Designer makes after the woman nods her approval is “You never know how many people enjoyed the best moments of their lives on this sofa.”

This story idea is copyright 2012 by Christopher R. Bakunas and may not be used without express written consent. And money, lots and lots of money.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Confidential Drift

In strictest confidence
He let me know
Everybody thought
He was paranoid

The good friend told me
He suspected an affair
Between the lawyer's wife
And the mayor

Mrs Malloy said
In a hurried whisper
You didn't hear it from me
But it was my sister

It's a secret
You cannot tell
If word got out
There'd be hell

If two people know something
The only way nothing will be said
Is if one is stricken mute
And the other ends up dead

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Parting Is Such Abhorrent Jubilation

The classic request,  "Can we still be friends"
                                                     and I replied, "No"
I wouldn't mind if we could maintain a little anger
                                                     at one another though

Each referring to being with the other as one big
                                                     bad decision
Each regarding the other with cold contempt and
                                                     bombastic derision

Telling family and friends what fools we'd been
                                                     to ever bother
Wasting even one precious minute of our lives 
                                                     on one another

Can't we just throw all the pictures and ticket stubs
                                                      into a roaring fire
And watch with delight as the flames exorcise 
                                                      any residual desire

You can claim I never, ever really wanted to spend
                                                       any time with you
I will tell my buddies at the bar you were
                                                       smothering me blue

                    We both can state the other was impossible to live with

Go ahead and tell everyone you know, I could
                                                       never apologize
I will claim I got tired of catching you again and again 
                                                       in so many lies

Years from now we'll both be able to cooly
                                                       look back and say
There is at least one person we will never miss
                                                       in any way
        No one will ever need to know we were really happy for that one week