The Danger Of Needing Entertainment To Simulate Attention In Office Meetings

   When he wasn't speaking in cliches he was speaking in movie quotes, and God love him, it did make for entertaining business meetings.

   Primarily because of the unintentional amusement that the cliches and movies quotes provided the staff that were required to attend the meetings he scheduled at least three times every week.

   It was Ruby Thayer who came up with the idea for the cliche/movie quote Bingo Cards. She created 50 completely different Bingo cards over a rainy weekend last July, and handed them out to a few select, sworn-to-secrecy individuals.

   The cards had 25 squares just like standard, ordinary Bingo cards, but instead of numbers in the squares that were arranged in horizontal rows under the letters B,I,N,G,O, the squares were filled with movie quotes and cliches. If Mr. Greenberg quipped "You're going to need a bigger boat" to emphasize a need for more of an item, or stated "low hanging fruit" in reference to an easy sale, and those were on your card, you marked them with an X.

   After the meeting the participants gathered in one of the breakroom's and checked cards for any Bingo's. Any card that had a verified Bingo was awarded a prize from Granderson's supply closet, usually extra pens for a single Bingo, but a blackout Bingo could earn one a new PC.

   An unintended consequence of the surreptitious game was that it caused the participants to pay extremely focused attention to Mr Greenberg as he made his presentations, which had given him the false impression that what he was presenting was not only interesting and of use, but was invaluable. 

   Which encouraged him to add a few extra meetings every other week or two.

   Needless to mention, productivity in the office fell off a little...which led to even more meetings. It was a vicious loop.

The Follies & Fallen Nature Of The Superfluous

The man, mad and delirious, was demanding a cup of banana tea

Preferably, he screamed, with a croissant prepared on a rotisserie

Slathered with royalty-free cream and cinnamon wasabi

Served with a side of kool-aid pickles and finely sliced kohlrabi

The staff, to their credit, were scrambling to find the necessary hoodoos

In order to cleanse the wasabi mixer of the previous evenings fondus 

The barista carefully noted the man's name on a fiberboard cup

All the while wondering if the miscreant had the means to pay up

Suddenly, everyone's cellular phones started ringing

The cacophony oddly reminiscent of drunken Swedes singing

Hello, hello, was being shouted by the hysterical bourgeoisie

Trying hard to make a connection over the din of the shivaree

Oddly enough the man who had been mad and delirious was now calm

Standing patiently while waiting on his order with nary a qualm

Memorial Day In The United States May 25th 2026

 

Something Written In 1992 & No Recollection Of The Impetus Exists

Don't want you to make excuses for me

Well aware as I am of the embarrassing shortcomings

That haunt my steps 

If there's a bigger dummy on the block I don't want to know

If there's a bigger dummy on the block, put him in a show

'cause I'm damn tired of being an idiot

'cause I'm damn tired of making mistakes

'cause I'm damn tired of being foolish

'cause I'm damn tired of making escapes

Don't want to plead for attention

There is at least a faint trace of pride left  

Somewhere, I know it's around here, somewhere

If there's a weaker Cavalier on the block, I don't want to know

If there's a weaker Cavalier on the block, put him in a show 

'cause I'm damn tired of being an idiot

'cause I'm damn tired of making mistakes

'cause I'm damn tired of being foolish

'cause I'm damn tired of making escapes

Ladies & Gentlemen, Please Welcome To Our Stage...TBT!

 

A Thorax Crackler For Sunday Afternoon

    One fine Sunday afternoon in Heaven Saint Peter greets a Priest and a bus driver at the Pearly Gates. He smiles broadly at both of them and exclaims that they have both made the grade, and then goes about giving them the rundown on how things work in the afterlife and assigns them their individual residences.

    A week goes by and the Priest, a man who spent his entire adult life piously spreading the word and tending to his congregation as if every single one of them were indeed his own children, runs into Saint Peter at one of the many golf courses that abound in Paradise.

   Saint Peter asks the Priest how he is getting along, and the Priest replies, "Well, I have to tell you, I think there has been a mix up in the housing assignments between me and the bus driver. I was shown to a small, fairly dodgy little shack set on a lot overgrown with weeds, and the bus driver was given a mansion in a very elegant neighborhood. I mean, just how reverent was that bus driver?" 

   "Oh," says Saint Peter, "Housing assignments are not a reflection of reverence, they are a reflection of results. You indeed lived a most reverential life, but the thing is most of your sermons were dull and repetitive, which put a lot of people to sleep and didn't inspire much prayer. But that bus driver, when he was on the job, nobody slept and everybody prayed!"

Careful With That Match Harold