A Few From The Irish On Saint Patrick's Day

    A pompous English tourist entered an Irish pub in Dublin one afternoon and was promptly offered a pint of Guinness by the barman.

   Without hesitation he declined the libation and exclaimed, "I'm an Englishman good sir, born and bred in England, I proudly live as an Englishman, by the grace of god I hope to die as an Englishman, and I demand a proper English Gin and Tonic!"

   A wee Irishman on a barstool nearby looks over at him and comments, "Have ye nay ambition in ye at all, then?'

   The tipplers of County Kildare

Say it's more than pink elephants they fear

There's red rabbits, purple bats

Chartreuse rodents and magenta cats

 That jump from their whiskey and beer

   A tired old irish pensioner visiting London was getting ready for bed in his hotel room when a beautiful young English lass in a nearly transparent negligee walked through the door. 

   Looking at the frail elderly man she blushed and exclaimed, "Pardon me sir, I've entered the wrong room!"

   "Aye", sighed the venerable gent, "and thirty years too late as well."

There once was a young lass from Blarney

Whose knowledge of French was simply "Oui oui"

To this very day

Men's glasses are raised

To Honor her memory in Paree

   Stout Mrs O'Leary was on trial for domestic abuse. The Prosecutor had her on the stand and, indicating her bandaged up husband sitting forlornly at the counsel's table, stated loudly "Do you you expect this court to believe that a physical wreck such as your husband was able to give you a black eye?"

   Mrs O'Leary looked over at the jury and replied, "He wasn't a physical wreck when he gave it to me."

Sculpture Seen While Walking The Dr Tom Jones Trail Around Windsor Lake, Part 4

Whispers of Spring, Charlotte Zink, $10,000.00

   Louisiana native Charlotte Zink made her way to Colorado in the late 1980's. As a student at CU Boulder she developed her artistic talents and abilities to an extraordinary degree and, with the able assistance of her husband Ben, has created a large number of wonderful sculptures that can be seen in the permanent collections of municipalities throughout the state.  

   The piece shown above is entitled Whispers of Spring and is available for $10,000.00.

Jump, Jump, Jump To Conclusions...& Slam The Door Shut

Some people just have to be heard 

Don't wait for an opening just interrupt

In your head you can hear them screaming

Pay attention to me!

Pay attention to me!

I'm the one who is important here! Me! Me!

Listen to me, listen to me

Listen to me!

As if you have a choice

Some people just have to be in control

Steer the conversation to what's on their mind

Interrupt you in mid-sentence

Disregard anything you were saying

Because nothing you could have to say

Would possibly be as important

As everything they have to say

They know how to marginalize

Manipulate and stigmatize

Undermine and miscatergorize

Belittle and vilify

Every thought and opinion you might dare to express

That runs counter to their idea of what's best

Jump to conclusions and slam the door shut

Jump to conclusions and slam the door shut

Jump, jump, jump to conclusions

Slam the door shut

Because nothing you possibly could have had to say

Could possibly have added 

Anything of value to the conversation

Sculpture Seen While Walking The Dr. Tom Jones Trail Around Windsor Lake, Part 3

                                                     Tenderness, Reno Carollo, $15,000.00

   Reno Carollo is a former teacher who left that profession to follow his passion of being an artist, a maker, a creator, a sculptor, a jewelry designer and a crafter. His sculptures begin as very small models (like, 6 inches or so) and then, utilizing hammers and chisels he subtracts pieces from a large block of stone until he realizes his vision as a full size work of art.

   His work is on display and sold in galleries throughout the U.S., from Arizona to Arkansas, and of course, in Windsor, Colorado.
 

Charles Ranks His Top Three Nightmares

 The fear of flying

Into the side of a mountain

While riding on a magic carpet

Was a little more horrifying

Than drowning in a boiling fountain

Or accidently falling into a bottomless tarpit

At least it was to poor old Charles Mallery Chadwick

Sculpture Seen While Walking The Dr. Tom Jones Trail Around Windsor Lake, Part 2

 

                                                     Plein Air Bear by Colette Pitcher

   Colette Pitcher is a multi talented artist who can paint and sculpt with the best of them. I first discovered her work when I caught sight of her award-winning bronze "Bee My Honey" in a park just off Washington Ave in Northglenn.

   Her piece featured on the artwalk along the Dr. Tom Jones Trail at Windsor Lake is entertainingly fanciful, and can be purchased for $30,000.00. 

Good Idea For A Comedy Sketch Scene...50 Years Too Late

   This afternoon I overheard someone tell someone that they needed to see a little more hustle from them.

   Which sparked a memory, and then an idea for what could have been a funny scene in a movie...maybe 50 years ago.

   Here is the scene that raced through my mind; Camera pans a baseball diamond that is full of baseball players engaged in a lot of rather lackadaisical activity - it is Spring Training, so the rust of a long off-season is evident as players take swings at cans of corn and play a lot of sloppy pepper.

   Close up on the manager as he grimaces at the sight of his players dragging their collective feet and generally looking more like half-drunk amatuer softball players than a top-tier professional baseball team.  

   The manager cups his hands to his mouth and shouts loudly: "C'mon you chowderheads, cut the crap, I want to see a lot more hustle out there, pronto!"

   The camera cuts to the field immediately as Van McCoy's 1975 dance hit The Hustle begins to blare. All of the players start a perfectly choreographed line dance version of a 6 step hustle.

   The manager is shown burying his face in his hands.

  See, back in '77, '78, that would have been funny as all get out. Nowadays, not so much.