Eightball In The Corner Pocket

Scene: A dive bar, the kind all good Film Noir movies have at least one scene set in. Time: 1:38am on a Friday night.
   At the bar sit five people, two women, Sharon and Diane, and three men, Stan (there's always a Stan), Alan, and Phil. All of them are sipping or stirring their respective drinks nonchalantly. The bartender is stage right, out of the audience line of sight. A sappy country and western ballad can be heard emanating from a mono jukebox.

Diane: Well damn, I figured one of you would at least be a gentleman and buy a girl a last drink for the night! 

Phil: (Looking down at his drink) Buy your own damn drink Diane, it's not like you got anything anybody here wants.

Diane: (Angrily) Screw you Phil, I'm the best thing you've ever had a shot at!

Sharon: (Stirring her drink, looking towards the door, back to the bar) Huh! Not at this bar.

Diane: (With a hint of a sneer) Don't be writin' checks your mouth can't cash Shar, everyone knows you're a dead fish in the sack

Sharon: Up yours Di, at least I don't leave a man hangin'

The three men all turn and face the two women, and Sharon turns toward them. Alan lifts his beer in a toast motion, his action signaling the other two men to raise their glasses and touch his.

Alan: (With a half laugh) Yeah, she's got you there Di, not a man you ever been with hasn't complained about you leavin' 'em with blue balls.

Diane: (With a hint of contempt) Yeah, I like to leave 'em for your queer ass to finish off Al, you oughta be paying me for that.

Phil: Damn, another Friday night and I'm hanging out with you clowns again. I gotta sell that crap farm my Daddy left me and get my ass down to Baton Rouge. At least there I can get some fishin' in.

Stan: Yup, that's what you oughta do, suppose.

Diane: You'd lose your ass the hour after you got there Phil, those casinos would suck every dollar out of your wallet quicker than either Tina or Linda ever could!

Stan: Yup, she's right about that Phil.

Suddenly the door to the bar slams open, causing all five of them to jump. Two scruffy looking young men storm in, both of them waving shotguns.

Bad Guy #1: (Waving his shotgun threateningly) Nobody move! Anybody move and I'll shoot you! Everybody put their hands on the bar where we can see 'em!

All five of the bar patrons look at the two scruffy men nervously while putting their hands on the bar.

Bad Guy #2 (Pointing his shotgun towards the ceiling) Where the hell's the bartender! Hey bartender, get your ass out here or you're goin' have a bloody mess to clean up!

From stage right the bartender, a large-ish man in his forties, appears. He is drying a beer glass with a bar towel as he walks towards the center of the bar.

Bad Guy #1 (Pointing his gun towards the register behind the bar) The money! Give us the damn money!

Bartender: (His eyes size up both of the scruffy men calmly) You two sure about what you're doing? Do you know who owns this bar?

Bad Guy #2: (Looking about nervously) Shut the fcuk up! Fcuk who owns the bar! Just give us the money! Now!

Bartender: Alright, no problem (Puts down the beer mug and towel, opens the register, starts removing all the bills)

Bad Guy #1: (Scornful, but curious) Whaddya mean? Why should we give a fcuk who owns this fcukin' bar?

Bartender: (With a hint of sinister warning) This bar belongs to the Angels man, they're probably not going to be very happy with it being robbed.

Bad Guy #2: (Looking nervously at his co-hort in crime, both notice all the biker paraphernalia on the walls) What? What the fcuk are you talkin' 'bout? The Angels? Fcuk Gary, we can't rob this place.

Bad Guy #1 (Angry) Fcuk! Okay, okay, don't give us that money! C'mon' Ron, let's go, C'mon'!

Both of the scruffy men turn tail and run out of the bar. The five customers all turn toward the bartender. 

Phil: What the hell Bernie, that was ballsy as all get out. Everybody in town knows O'Reilly left this dump to Catholic Social Services to fund the orphanage!

Bartender (Bernie): Yep. Owned by the Angels. I gotta call the Sheriff and get him the DVD of those clowns before they hurt somebody. You guys want another beer, Alan's gotta pour. Don't leave 'cause Ty will probably want statements.

Bernie heads off stage, the sound of a phone being dialed can be heard over the jukebox. Alan walks behind the bar and starts re-filling everybody's mugs. Phil shifts his seat so that he's sitting next to Diane. Sharon and Stan move next to each other. Lights fade as the sound of a police siren is heard in the background. 

On This Train, The Conductor Has Snapped

Coal train derailing in slow motion
Falling off a trestle like a viper striking out at prey
And missing

The engine billowing smoke, the wheels spinning
Railcar after railcar pitching into the void
Chunks of coal falling like hail

Fireman was told to build up a good head of steam
The conductor was in no mood for going slow
Got both eyes on that last terminus

The driving wheels grabbed the rails
As the pistons churned in the cylinder blocks
The blastpipe played an angry tune

The brakeman yelled that there were no carrying wheels
To help the big locomotive through the turn
But the conductor wasn't having any of that

On the valley floor the train now rested
In a crumpled heap of mangled iron and human life
The conductor has arrived at everyone's final destination

Nine Years Ago This Month

                                                                 San Diego, 2012

Dancing to a song written by John Cougar Mellencamp
With a woman who just left her abusive boyfriend
For what she said was the last time
                Buy me a drink
                She said
                I need someone
                To make me feel
                Connected
                Tell me I'm safe
                She said
                I need someone
                To make me feel
                Protected
                Listen to me
                She said
                I need someone
                To make me feel
                Respected
       The song ended and we took our seats at the bar
       She placed her hand over mine and smiled
       Looking at her I couldn't smile back
                There was a time
                When I would have taken up
                Her offer
                As it would have been better than being
                Alone
                Through some inexplicable
                Twist of maturity
                I learned
                To listen when that little voice says
                Don't
                Life has been kind
                Never demanding
                A harvest of
                The wild oats I've
                Sown
                                

Misery Of The Braggard

                                              Choice Accomodations

Everybody has that one person in their life

                  Who will not shut up

                                              About who they know

                                              Or what they know

                                            About what they've done

                                              Or what they can do

I am guilty of having been that person on countless occasions

It's a tad embarrassing to admit

If there was a way 

I could erase the memory of every person

Who has ever heard me claim

Anything

I would.

Except for the true stuff

Especially the one time I got it right

It's Out There For The Taking...Always

                                                                        Arizona 2006

Somebody mentioned
                 That it was quite possible
                 That there were still wonders to be revealed
And all I could do was agree
                 Vistas I had yet to appreciate
                 Delicious foods I had yet to savor
                 Melodious music I had yet to hear
                  Scenic byways I had yet to navigate
                  Delightful people I had yet to favor
                  Mysterious lands I had yet to explore
Without a doubt
                 There is still much to be done
                  If I can fit it all into my schedule
                  The plan is to enjoy 

But do not waste your time
                  Drawing up a list
                  Of what you want to see or do someday

Waste your time actually doing those things

Passive/Aggressive? Moi?

   Long-billed Dowitcher (or maybe it's a Wanderng Tattler - they look a lot alike), Imperial Beach, California, March 2012

A very long time ago somebody decided it would be a good idea to plan for future meals. This person, this faceless, unnamed genius, had been going out everyday to find enough to eat for the day, just as every other man and woman around in the long ago time had been. 

The idea of planning for future meals was no doubt closely related to finding a way of storing food, of keeping it somewhat fresh or at least edible for a few days.

The idea must have hit like a bag of canned hams: "Hey, what if it would be possible to store some of this delicious fruit (vegetables, roots, wildebeest - whatever) so that tomorrow we all won't have to hope that there will be more fruit (vegetables, roots, wildebeest - whatever) around for successful hunting and gathering?"

Maybe the idea occurred after a few days of hunger brought on by failed hunting and gathering, or maybe it was a long-term famine that triggered it.

Whatever it was, someone had to be sitting around with some serious hunger pangs and the thought sprung up: "Damn, If only there had been a way to save some of that wildebeest before it turned rancid and maggot-infested. There must be a way!"

It could have been an accidental discovery, I suppose. One hot day some Cro-Magnon was stripping away the flesh of a fresh kill and laying it out on a rock in order to divvy it up among the group. The strips of meat must of been thin enough and the combination of temperature and time must have been sufficient enough to prevent actual cooking of the meat but also prevent bacterial growth before it dried - the meat was tasted and found to be chewable, not brittle, and tasty.

And a little later in the day, it was found to be still good to eat. Somebody, the Harriet Fasenfest of the Paleolithic, figured out fast that removing moisture from food stuffs, be it fruit, vegetable, or meat, kept it from spoiling and thus food storage was born. 

From there other food preservation methods developed, and it couldn't have been too much longer after that the idea of planning meals hit. "Hey," A cave dweller may have thought, "What if we have a good meal right when we get up, then another when the sun is directly overhead, then one last one for the day when the sun goes down. That way we won't all walk around grumbling about being hungry. Might see a lot less club violence if everybody has a full stomach."

That's a fairly credible hypothesis, eh? Food storage/preservation developed, then meal planning followed not far behind.

Meal planning, as in one person saying, "How about dinner at 8:30?" And the other person saying, "Sure, 8:30 is perfect. See you then."

Oh, I forgot to mention the invention of timepieces. Timepieces made meal planning even easier. 

Easy, as in, when you plan dinner for 8:30, it should be a given that 8:30 is when the food is going to be ready for consumption, plus or minus 10, maybe 15 minutes.

Not an hour later, and certainly not an hour and a half later. 

I'm just saying.


  

A Perfectly Fine Day To Visit The Kirkland Museum Of Fine & Decorative Art

                       The Kirkland Museum of Fine & Decorative Art

Close to the heart of Denver is a terrific little museum that houses the unique works of one the most talented artists to ever live, teach, and create in Colorado.

That artist was one Vance Kirkland, a man who was born in the small village of Convoy, Ohio in 1904 and came to Denver in 1929 to establish a School of Art for the University of Denver. He served as it's founding Director until 1932, when he resigned due to a conflict with the University of Denver stemming from the University's refusal to grant credit hours for art classes towards graduation. 

                                              Pre-WWII Vance Kirkland watercolors

Mr. Kirkland then proceeded to establish his own art school in a building that Harry Read, one of the founders of what eventually would become the Denver Art Museum, had commissioned Denver architects Biscoe & Hewitt to design and build in 1911. Mr. Read had used the building for his Read's Student's School of Art.

The building, located at 1311 Pearl St. in Denver (right on the corner of 13th and Pearl, you can't miss it), was designed in a classic Arts & Crafts style, and was the home of the Kirkland School of Art from 1932 until 1946, when the University of Denver offered him the Directorship of the Art School once again, a position he held until 1969.

Having purchased the building by the time he was re-instated as the Director of the Art School at DU, Mr. Kirkland maintained it as his art studio until his passing in 1981.

                   B & W portraits of Vance Kirkland next to one of his large Dot paintings  

The building and his entire collection was willed to a family friend, Hugh Grant (no, not the British actor Hugh Grant - this one's American. I have no idea if he can act). In 1998 Mr. Grant set about getting the former studio expanded (it was initially only 3,000 square feet) and after the addition of nearly 8,000 square feet in a style that perfectly complements the original building, the museum opened in 2003.

The museum is curated in a manner very similar to the Gardner Museum in Boston. The exhibits are not segregated into distinctive galleries of differing periods or schools of art, but rather all of the art, furniture, textiles, ceramics, sculpture, etc., is displayed somewhat mixed together like an art salad, though there are a few vignettes that are grouped according to a particular style such as Art Deco, Arts & Crafts, Pop, Modernist, etc.

                                     Vance Kirkland's art studio  

The work of Vance Kirkland is of course a primary focus, and in fact his studio has been preserved in total in order to showcase his very unique method of creating his large canvases. Remember that scene in The Big Lebowski when The Dude visits Maude at her studio and she's swinging from a zipline while spattering paint on a huge canvas? I believe the Cohen Brothers may have appropriated that idea from how Mr. Kirkland preferred to work.

                         Mermaid and Dancers, Mina Conant, late 1970's

The museum also showcases the works of Colorado artists, with hundreds of paintings, ceramics, furnishings, and sculptures from hundreds of local artist and artisans ranging from traditional fine arts to more conceptual and whimsical creations. The body of the collection seems to draw on the 100 years between 1880 to 1980, but there are a number of pieces from the past 30 years as well.

Harvey Ellis designed inlaid drop front desk & chair along with a Charles Rohlfs table and a two-handled Arts & Crafts lamp attributed to the Benedict Studio

The Decorative Art that is featured includes furniture from the Arts & Crafts, Art Deco, Art Nouveau, Bauhaus, and even Pop Art eras. The collection does not feature the work of any one designer or architect such as the focus on C.R. Macintosh at The Hunterian in Glasgow or Florida Southern College's extensive Frank Lloyd Wright buildings collection. However, it quite likely has one of the most diverse single-site collections of Decorative Arts I've ever seen - everyone from Gus Stickley to Eero Saarinen has a piece or two on display.

                            Pantonova Wire Chair designed by Verner Panton, 1961-'66

The museum is open Tuesday through Sunday from 11am until 5pm. Admission is $7.00, with discounts for seniors, students, groups, etc. Active duty Military get in free! 

Wednesdays through Saturdays there are guided tours at 1:30, which is included with admission to the museum. Or you can just wander around by your lonesome.

There is free parking right across the street (SW) from the museum, and there are also a few spaces in front of the museum.

 I highly recommend a visit to this little gem but it should be noted that due to the overwhelming number of objects and art on display and the somewhat tight spacing, children between the ages of 13 to 17 must be accompanied by an adult, and children under 13 are not allowed.