23,411th In-Line For The Throne

At just a little after one in the morning he stood on the low hill and stared up into the sky, wondering just what the Universe wanted of him.

Then a thought began to creep into his mind. At first, the thought was simply: "What if the Universe doesn't actually want anything of you at all?" Then, a quick few seconds later, it was followed up by the thought: "What if the Universe doesn't actually care about your existence at all?"

This was a little disconcerting.

He pondered. Thoughts rolled around in his head like 144 bowling balls suddenly let loose in a skateboard park. He tried to make sense of it all, but everything was vague, indistinct. Like one of those horrible paintings first-year art students create when they think they're going to be the next Franz Kline (who himself thought he was Rothko).

Somewhere, Nuns were dropping to their knees

Then several moments of clarity hit him like a ton of overweight Southern matrons, first and foremost being: "Fcuk the Universe, it's my life, I'm going to live it." 

That's the exact moment when he realized that living his life to satisfy the hunger of others wasn't going to work.

So he walked home (the hill was not much of a hike), got online and bought a few more shares of a no-load, no-fee mutual from Putnam that he liked.

Are You At Least As Astute As An Egyptian 12 Year-Old

A buddy of mine sent me a video featuring a 12 year-old Egyptian boy being interviewed at the scene of one of the anti-Morsi riots. 

Generally, I try to avoid all forms of political BS*, but what this kid states is remarkable - hell, it would be remarkable for an adult male in Egypt to say it, so the age of this kid makes it 3 or 4 times as remarkable.

The skeptic in me wonders if it's a scripted interview, but the unblushing admirer in me thinks if it is, this kid gets an Academy Award way before DeCaprio ever sees one.

The interview is in Arabic, so I had to call my friend Salem and have him watch it and tell me if what is being written in the subtitles is actually being said, and he assured me it was. 

This is a transcript of that interview:

Boy: My name is Ali Ahmed

Boy: I'm in first grade preparatory (equivalent: 12 years)

Boy: I'm here to help prevent Egypt from becoming a commodity owned by one person, and to protest the confiscation of the constitution by one single party. We didn't get rid of a Military Regime to replace it with a Fascist Theocracy.

Interviewer: Fascist Theocracy? I don't even know what that means.

Boy: Fascist Theocracy is when you manipulate religion and enforce extremists regulations in the name of religion even though religion doesn't command that.

Interviewer: Who taught you all this?

Boy: I just know it. 

Interviewer: How do you know it?

Boy: I listen to people a lot, and I use my own brain. Plus I read newspapers, watch TV, and search on the Internet.

Interviewer: So you see the country is not doing so well and has to change?

Boy: You mean Politically or Socially? 

Boy: The social objectives of the revolution are yet to be achieved. Economic empowerment, freedom, and social justice. There are still no jobs. The police still jail people randomly. As for social justice, how can a News Anchor get thirty million Egyptian pounds while some people still pick food from garbage?

Boy: Politically speaking, where is the constitution that represents us? For example, women are half of the society. How come there are only 7 ladies in the constituent assembly, 6 of whom are Islamists?

Interviewer: So you think they are going to manipulate the constitution?

Boy: What is built on falsehood is false itself, even if the constitution is nice but the assembly is bad. We will end up with something bad. Don't bring me 80 good articles and 20 bad ones that will ruin the country, and then tell me this is a constitution.

Interviewer: Did you read the constitutional draft?

Boy: Nods his head yes.

Interviewer: Where? On the Internet?

Boy: Nods his head yes again.

Boy: For example, they say women are equal to men in all matters, "Except in matters that contradict Islamic law." But then, Islamic law allows men to discipline their wives. This can't work in society.

Interviewer: Why not? What's the problem?

Boy: The problem is that it's outrageous. I can't beat my wife up and almost kill her and then tell you this is discipline. This is not discipline, this is abuse and insanity.

Boy: All of this (political process) is void because the Parliament in the first place is void. Popularly and constitutionally void.

Boy: Some parties base their campaign on mixing religion and politics. Mosques were mobilizing voters - they distributed sugar and cooking oil to the voters and many other things like that.

View the full video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QeDm2PrNV1I

When I was 12, I had already read Shirer's Rise and Fall of Adolph Hitler and Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago (both at my Mom's insistence), and I did read the paper on a daily basis. However, I'm pretty certain most of my protests and concerns centered around whether or not Neal Adams or Jack Kirby was the best artist in comics (Adams' advertising agency inspired photo-realism vs. Kirby's dynamic graphic representations is still an ongoing debate in that little sub-culture I visit from time-to-time).

This kid...this kid is amazing.

*Okay, I admit I get a bit nationalist on Memorial Day and the 4th of July. It's impossible for me not to.

The Fine Art Of Finishing A Salad

This afternoon I was reminded that accolades are not showered upon people who think of great ideas, jot them down in a notebook, and then forget about them. 

Accolades are showered upon people who think of great ideas, jot them down in a notebook, and then proceed to work out very detailed plans that lead to the actual physical realization of the ideas.

Having lunch with Captain Obvious is a pain in the tookus. I looked her dead in the eyes after she made the quip (which was difficult, because she was wearing a low cut top and has cleavage to spare) and thanked her for the insight.

Failing to follow up on great ideas, or at least very good ideas (Whoa Ego, whoa. Settle down) is the curse of my existence. I do not possess the Edison-esque ability to patiently and methodically work on a project until I complete it. I'm more like Leonardo da Vinci in that I get all ambitious about something, do a little work on it, then abandon it for something else.

Right now, the ghost of some 15th century Italian is saying, "I knew Leonardo da Vinci. I worked with Leonardo da Vinci. You sir are no Leonardo da Vinci."

I know that - I was using an exaggerated example to make a point for Jimminy Cricket's sake.

There are thousands of self-help books available that promise to show explicitly how anyone can learn to harness their inner drive and release the creative, productive person trapped inside them.

So far, I'm 0 for a thousand with those books.  

I keep plugging away though, because if there is one thing I have learned that has proven itself time and time again, it's this:

Never, ever give up. Keep trying, trudge on. Eventually, you'll find what you're looking for, you'll get to where you want to be, you'll find the perfect tie to compliment that chartreuse shirt (okay, that might be stretching it).

That's pretty much what my reply was to my friend Captain Obvious. To further stress my point, when she said she couldn't possibly finish her salad, I took her plate and told her to watch how it was done.

And so I finished her salad, one bite at a time. Persistence wins again!

Walkin' The Dinosaur (Ridge, That Is)

                            Sign, sign everywhere a sign...at the Dakota Ridge Trailhead

Matthews/Winters Park is a fairly easy place to access. The park is located adjacent to Red Rocks amphitheater on the west side of County Highway 93, as well as on the east side of CH 93 (CH 93 runs right through the park), about 8 miles from the heart of Lakewood 

A little over a decade ago this was my favorite place to hike. 

In the early morning or late evening, when most of the mountain bikers, runners, and other hikers are at home, it's a terrific, trouble-free hike.

The east section, which features the Dakota Ridge Trail, was my destination. I drove down Morrison Road and into the town of Morrison, then took a right onto County Highway 93 and drove until I arrived at what was once the Jurassic Park and Ride lot. 

It is now the Stegosaurus lot of the Hogback Jurassic Park and Ride lots - they have greatly expanded parking for the Park and Ride people, and there are now three separate lots (Wooley Mammoth and T-Rex are the other two).   

When you get to the top of the short but steep ascent, this is your view to the north.

There was once a sign indicating that this was the Dakota Ridge Trailhead, but it was nowhere to be seen this morning.

I suspect it's removal had something to do with the expansion of the Park and Ride lots.

The Dakota Ridge trail is commonly referred to by most long-time residents of the area as Dinosaur Ridge trail, as the trail runs along the ridge line that is part of Dinosaur Ridge. 

Once you are at the top of the service road (which does not look very serviceable anymore - rutted from water-flow and overgrown with scrub) the trail veers due south along the spine of what is known as the hogback.

The Keep Out signs are for the JeffCo Law Enforcement shooting range

                                                      

                    View to the west from Dakota Ridge - I-70 cuts through the foothills

A lunatic Mountain Biker makes her way up and along the trail

The Dakota Ridge trail is 2.2 miles of a widely varied track. Occasionally it is as easy as strolling down a boardwalk, and occasionally it's a leg and lungs challenging steep climb. 

The great thing about the trail is, neither of those extremes are of pronounced duration. The trail may be flat for 50 yards, then steep for 75 or so, then downhill for a bit. That's what makes the hike so great - that and the incredible views.

                                                       

         This was new to me - had to investigate...

                                  Looked like a well-built and well-maintained trail

                                                       

 Aha! It leads to (or from) the Rooney Road parking lot near Dinosaur Ridge

                Back to the Dakota Ridge trail after that slight detour. This is almost the halfway point

Apparently a few changes have been made since the last time I hiked the Dakota Ridge trail, and those changes seemed to coincide with the closure of Alameda Ave. at Dinosaur Ridge in the mid 2000's. The Zorro trail apparently was built to encourage access to Dakota Ridge away from Dinosaur Ridge, as Dinosaur Ridge is at the south end/entrance to the Dakota Ridge Trail.

                                               Gnarly wind-blown tree along the ridge

Those Dinosaur people really want Dinosaur Ridge all to themselves. 

Once you get about a mile into the hike the trail starts to straddle the ridge line, and enjoying views of Denver to the east and the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to the west is as easy as turning your head left or right 

Logs kept in place with long metal spikes to help control erosion

In a few other posts I have mentioned how well Colorado takes care of its hiking trails, and Dakota Ridge is no exception. In fact, Dakota Ridge may actually be the standard. While the trail can be steep and rocky in a few places, for the most part it is fairly easy to traverse.

 This part here is a little less hospitable than most of the trail but the views make it worthwhile

The trail is challenging enough so that you know you're getting some great exercise, but not so challenging that you're gasping for breath at every turn. The climb takes you to about 7,000 feet, give or take, so it would be a little difficult for anyone who just arrived in the Mile-High city.

However, if you are acclimated to the altitude, it should not be too taxing.

                      Great view to the Southwest taking in the foothills and Red Rocks 

If you are interested in geology in the slightest you will enjoy hiking Dakota Ridge. The earth juts out at odd angles as you make your way along the spine of this section of the Hogback, and it's easy to imagine the great upheavals from earthquakes and volcanic activity that caused all of this.

                             That complex to the left is the Dinosaur Ridge Visitor Center

The reason most long-time locals still call the trail Dinosaur Ridge instead of Dakota Ridge becomes readily apparent when you do make it to the south end of the trail. The trailhead is just to the left of one of the Dinosaur Ridge information and message boards. 


             Why it's called the Hogback becomes apparent once you get the view from on high

At this point, a little over one and three quarters of a mile into the hike, the crest of the ridge has been gained. The Rooney Valley sprawls out to the east and Bear Creek Canyon to the west.

The view of the Hogback is spectacular, as you can pretty much follow it with your eyes to it's terminus somewhere near Roxborough Park.

                                               A cairn close to the south trail head

All told, Dakota Ridge is a fun bit of exercise in the great outdoors, with the added bonus of being almost impossible to get lost in. There are only two directions you can actually hike - well, three if you include Zorro. But even that trail leads to a parking lot. 

Just remember to bring a couple liters of water - it is almost four and half miles round trip, and even if you start at 7:30am, the sun will be blazing once you are up on the ridge. 

The south end of the Dakota Ridge trail - this is where Alameda cuts through 

The trail ends where Alameda Ave was cut through the Hogback to get to County Road 93 and Morrison. 

It was while building that road back in 1937 that all the Dinosaur tracks were discovered. The digging for the road also revealed the geologic history of the area, and if you venture the 25 yards or so further down to the Dinosaur Ridge information station, you can read all about it.

                     An attempt at a panoramic view of the foothills to the west of the Hogback

Hiking back to where I parked at the Stegosaurus lot was quicker than I anticipated. All the hiking I've been doing must be kicking in. 

If it wasn't for all the stopping to take pictures I'm certain I could make the round trip in well under two hours.

Anyone else up for the challenge?

The Prettiest Flower In The Whole Of Antarctica

Reasons lined up

To shout out in unison

It's a fairly dangerous undertaking

You're about to set out on

But like the heroes of every story

 He had ever read

He threw caution to the wind 

And proceeded straight ahead

Regardless of the danger

Regardless of the dread

He knew no man reaped rewards

Shunning adventure 

Where demons feared to tread

The well-meaning warnings 

That came at him from every direction

"Turn back," "You're an idiot," "Don't be stupid"

Only steeled his determination

Like a camel seeking water in the desert

He plodded on at a steady gait

Tireless were his efforts

Nothing would deter him from his fate

Though his quarry was elusive

Known to be wary of any bait

His was the courage of the foolhardy

And recklessly he proceeded

To ask the waitress out on a date  

If She Asked Him To Jump Out Of The Window...

All he ever wanted was to feel useful and necessary

All she could ever give him was a feeling of inadequacy

But still they tried

Through all the filth, degradation and lies

They continued to try

Countless times they swore they were finally through 

Wasted primes and an I Love You tattoo

Rehearsed lines while holed up in the bathroom

Victimless crimes committed without regard to

Obvious signs that were easily misconstrued 

All he ever wanted was to be thought of 

All she could ever give him was a sadistic shove

But still they tried

Through all the filth, degradation and lies

They continued to try

Again and again they both tried to break away

But a pen was used to write this foul play

The ink remained when the paper started to decay

A sickness unexplained by any trite cliche

Emotions drained regardless of the hell to pay

All he ever wanted was anything

All she could ever give him was an endless despairing

But still they tried

Through all the filth, degradation and lies

They continued to try

                                               

Sheer Dumb Luck Vs. Mere Smart Luck

Fortuitous. Some people are it to the nth degree.

Before they were born, random circumstances conspired to ensure that they would be born healthy, and to intelligent, well-off, competent and capable parents who wanted them, who had set out specifically to bring forth their life into this world.

Further, they won the genetic lottery and came into this world predetermined to not only conform to society's norms regarding physical appearance and intelligence, but to exceed them in a way that secured them a means to make a living - i.e., excellent eye/hand coordination, the ability to solve problems or readily recognize patterns, perfect pitch, a pleasant personality, natural grace or athleticism - and then were encouraged to develop or indulge such.

The road map they were handed at birth was devoid of detours. None of the roads they needed to follow were under construction, all the bridges they had to cross were strong and secure. It was just a matter of moving forward.

Of course, some of those people do fall off track, indulge in ultra-hedonistic lifestyles, become addicted to drugs or alcohol, somehow lose their grip on sanity - golden children such as John Eleuthere du Pont, Syd Barrett, or Casey Johnson. 


Then there are people who did not have life handed to them on a silver platter, but instead had to overcome terrible odds to make life at least tolerable.
  
Those are the ones who understand that, in reality, fortune favors the prepared. They are the ones who leave as little to chance as possible, possessors of what can only be called smart luck.

The best of the possessors of mere smart luck can be found in the historical record. Men and women who were not born into the best of circumstances or even very healthy, the Helen Kellers, Christy Browns, and Ed Roberts of the world.

All of them overcame disabilities or extremely difficult circumstances to become leaders in their communities or fields of endeavor.

They pressed on when the odds were not just stacked against them - the odds were actually knocking them back with regularity.

The example those people set, that of creating your own luck through hard work, dedication, and good old fashioned persistence, is inspirational. 

Sheer dumb luck grants a number of people opportunities that millions will never have. However, the opportunities mere smart luck provides are available to one and all, it's just a matter of application.

Of course I suppose one would need to be lucky enough to be aware of that in order to actually do it...huh. Guess that requires a little bit of sheer dumb luck.

Okay, I'll concede that - but then it's all up to you and the mere smart luck of work, dedication, and persistence.