Alone In The House At Night

Every single creaking of the old fence, every single whisper of the wind through the leaf-less trees, every single groan from the loose clapboard siding, seemed to echo throughout the cold, drafty house.

Windows shuddered and pipes rattled as the large clock at the end of the hall ticked out it's relentless cadence.

She had come back to her parent's house, the house she lived in until the day she left for the University, in an effort to lay to rest the memories that had been haunting her since the day of the accident.

The accident. That fatal 18 seconds of driving that were the last 18 seconds of her parents lives.

An Act Of Disrespect, Cowardice, and Ignorance

Yesterday was a day of gratitude here in the states. People all over the country sat down with family and friends and shared not only a big dinner, but also in each others lives, catching each other up on the good and the bad that they had to endure since the last big gathering.

Today I received a text message from a-brother-from-another-mother close friend that one of our mutual acquaintances ended his own life last night.

That hit me hard.

I didn't know the acquaintance in question well, but I knew him well enough to be completely mystified as to why he chose to take his own life. He was generally a high-spirited guy, always smiling, always enjoying life. Or at least it appeared that way to me.

And now I am angry at him. Angry and disgusted. 

He left behind a devoted wife and beautiful children, the oldest just 11.

Suicide is selfish, plain and simple. I type that and I immediately chastise myself, thinking, "What a minute, you have no idea what demons he was dealing with, you have no idea what mental stresses or difficulties this man may have been wrestling with on a daily basis, you can't judge him."

But then I thought, "No. He chose a holiday, a holiday of a specific nature, for a specific reason. To cause a lifelong trauma for those who survived him".

I think of his wife, and his children, and his friends, and I get angrier. 

I do not possess enough knowledge of the human psyche to understand what causes a person to want to end their own life. 

I have, however, read a number of books that cover the topic, spurred on by the suicides of a few people I have known.

But all I've really garnered from those books is that people who want to commit suicide usually succeed eventually, and that the demographic in the U.S. that is most likely to commit suicide is white males.

7 out of 10 suicides are white males.

Why? What is the causation? And where is the media outcry? 

The Recitations Of The Blessings, Actual

Thirty-plus people gathered together this afternoon. FS and JH had cooked up enough food to feed twice that number, and as everyone who joined us brought food or drink, there was plenty to go around.

First though, there was the traditional listening of Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant", It's not Thanksgiving until we listen to Alice's Restaurant.

Then we went around the table (actually three of those temporary tables lined up in a row) with the gratitude declarations.

From the oldest to the youngest, the number one declaration of gratitude involved family and friends. However, there were also a few other declarations of gratitude that encompassed a bit more.

SS, whose parents divorced when she was very young, was grateful that her parents were united in their commitment to have her attend college, and, after earning an academic scholarship to college, has only one more semester to finish before becoming the first member of her family to earn a college degree.

HJ, a naturalized citizen originally from a country in Central America, simply said "This country".

SK stated he was grateful that he was alive at this particular time, as it was the best time ever to be alive.

Several people mentioned how fortunate we all were not to have had to deal with the wildfires that have plagued California, or any of the other calamities, natural or otherwise, that have plagued the world.

And all of us were grateful for present company, and the food.

Oh yeah, the food.

The Recitation Of The Blessings

Tomorrow afternoon I'll be sitting down to dine with family and friends, and while the food and drink will be plentiful, they will both take a back seat to the primary reason we will be gathered together.

Gratitude will be the heart of the day. 

I live with and among a group of people who truly understand how lucky we all are, for almost without exception each and every one of us are living better lives than we ever dreamed of.

So, when it comes time to pass the gratitude candle around the table, each and every person who takes their turn holding it will have a fairly long list of things to be grateful for.

And at the top of everyone's list will no doubt be, each other.

Cat & Dog Harmony

Hiding Out In An Abandoned Warehouse

He had been leaning up against the chain-link fence that surrounded the long-abandoned dilapidated brick building for nearly a half hour.

"This," he thought to himself, "sucks like mad."

He was a few months shy of his 21st birthday but he had the shakes, due to being without alcohol for the past 3 days, which was about as long as he could remember being dry without being in the joint since he was 12.

"Where the hell are they?" He said that out loud, in hopes that one of them would hear it and reply, "We're over here."

But no answer came from the darkness that surrounded him. 

"I knew I shouldn't have listened to Paulie, he's so full of it. Now I'm stuck here freezing to death. I gotta get out of here."

He looked through the gap cut with linemen's pliers in the fence that he was leaning against and tried hard to see if there was anything moving in the large overgrown lawn that spanned the distance from the perimeter established by the fence up to the falling down entrance of the building.

He really couldn't see a thing, but he could certainly hear things.

Creaks and groans made by loose trim or unsecured doors and windows that moved when the wind picked up, and the constant sound of shaking branches and shivering leaves.

Those sounds alone were enough to spook him, but when coupled with the DT's that had kicked in the other day, well, it was almost enough to drive a man insane.

And then he heard the laughter.

Denver Retro Con, 2018