Walking With The Dead, Dumb, & Blind

Conversation with a friend about the television series The Walking Dead:

Him: So, remember the end of the episode last year when Rick supposedly died though we actually saw him and Anne get picked up by a helicopter after Rick managed to blow up the bridge and destroy the large horde of Walkers? When the series was fast forwarded six years and Judith was walking around with a handgun on her hip?

Me: Yeah...

Him: Well, it's like a few months after that point, and Jesus has been killed by one of a group of people that make masks out of dead people's faces and wears them to blend in with the Walkers, and Michonne and Daryl capture one of them and bring her back to Alexandria for questioning and end up putting her in the jail that Henry is in for getting drunk.

Me: Okay, hold on. Have they looted a Murdoch's or Home Depot or a Lowe's yet?

Him: What?

Me: In the first episode last year the group led by Rick went to a museum in Washington DC to take stuff from the exhibits like a covered wagon and farming tools and seeds, and all I could think when I was watching that was that it would be much easier for them to get garden supplies and tractors or shovels if they would go to a big box store and get the stuff they need there.

Him: Huh. Yeah, I guess.

Me: Seriously, why don't all these little communities that the surviving humans have put together all have warehouses full of everything that is usually stocked at big box stores that they need? Hell, why don't they have huge armories? The series is set in the south, I know there must be a few hundred gunshops and at least that many Wal-Marts within a hundred miles of them that they could help themselves to.

Him: Well, you know, there are hordes of Walkers everywhere, and other groups of humans that have been less than friendly, so they probably just haven't had the opportunity.

Me: Bull puckey! They've been wandering all over the south for years, on horse back, on motorcycles, in RV's - they've had plenty of chances to avail themselves of a small town Wal-Mart's inventory. And why are they settling in areas that are so damn hard to defend? And why hasn't anyone built a moat? There must be tons of heavy construction equipment sitting around that at least one of the surviving humans would know how to use. Dig a  large moat, even a dry moat like zoos have, and you would greatly decrease the odds that a horde of Walkers is going to be able to pester you.

Him: Man, you really have to get a little better grasp on the concept of suspension of disbelief. 

The Opium-Bloated Face Of The Universe

The drunk old man falling down again
Trying to maintain his balance
On top of things he doesn't believe in

Spends his day wishing he was Chinese
And this was 1898
Maybe then he could find a job, any job
Doing whatever it was eunuchs did

The drunk old man falling down again
In the courtyard of an imaginary palace
Falling off the shoulders of a mannequin

Once Upon A Scary Evening

Functioning Erratically

His mind somehow got stuck on memories of the bad times
                                      Wounds seemed to unheal 
And uncertainties rushed in like a thousand tsunamis
                                      Destroying everything in their path

All the good times he'd known
Gone forever and never coming back
All the poisonous weeds he'd sown
Pushing up through the cracks

Yeah, it might take awhile
But the universe has all the time it needs
To beat a man down and bring him to his knees
Yeah, the universe has all the time it needs
To bring a man to his knees

The Sky Flared Up With A Giant Plume Of Flame

Are You In The Know? Part V

These last few pages wraps up the dating & etiquette guidebook - pages devoted to "This 'n' That", which in the mid-1950's was apparently a euphemism for a woman's menstrual cycle.

Are You In The Know? Part IV

Fashion tips follow grooming tips in this guidebook. These 6 pages have all the info a hip and happening young woman of the mid-'50's needed to be respectably presentable in every social situation.