Nights That Make You Go...Hmmm

   The night here is incredible. Millions of stars dancing in the sky, twinkling to the beat of an invisible drummer. The spotlight of a quarter moon creating shadows that play on the snowbanks as the Christmas lights that festoon the first decorated homes of the holiday add a prism of color to complement.

   My breath coalesces into curls of wispy frost as I walk along the sidewalk, alone except for the other well-wrapped fellow dog-walkers, the silence of the frigid early winter evening broken only by the cadence of our footfalls.

   Nights like these, with the temps in the mid-teens, bring forth questions...such as, why am I not living in a small beach town considerably south and to the west of this icebox?

Free As A Bird Or Down For A Pound

    Two  people, a man and a woman, pass away at the same time on the same day and find themselves standing together in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

   "I have good news and I have bad news for the both of you," St. Peter says. "The good news is both of you have made the grade. However, the bad news is our computer is down and I won't be able to let either of you in until I get confirmation."

   "That's great, but what do we do until the computer is back up?" Says the man.

   "Well," St. Peter replies, "In cases such as this we allow the waiting parties to return to Earth for the few days it takes to get things sorted, and you get to go back as anything you want, no strings attached." 

   Looking at the woman, St. Peter asks, "What would you like to return to Earth as Miss?''

   The woman ponders for a minute then says, "I have always wanted to be able to fly over the earth as free as a bird. Can I return as a beautiful eagle?"

   "It is done," St. Peter states, and the woman disappears.

   St. Peter looks at the man who seems to be mentally listing things he has wanted to be. The man looks up at St Peter and says, "No strings, eh? In that case I want to go back as a stud!"

   "It is done," St Peter states, and the man disappears.

   A few days later an IT angel approaches St Peter and tells him the computer is working and asks if he is going to be able to locate the woman and the man he had to send back to Earth.

   "Oh sure," replies St Peter, "The woman is happily soaring over the Rockies in Colorado, should be fairly easy to locate. The man might take a little while though - he's on a snow tire somewhere in Canada."

My Hiking Friend's Great Summer

    "I spent the summer in northern Italy, staying with a family of distant relatives in the town of Belluno, which is in the eastern Dolomite range, part of the Italian Alps. My host was a third or fourth cousin twice removed, and was much more Austrian than Italian - from what I could gather members of his family had fled Austria for Italy after the fall of Mussolini, hoping to make their way through Italy to Switzerland, but had found Belluno a fairly safe and pleasant place to be, so they decided to just remain there after the war had come to an end."

   He shuffled his flatware around his plate to suit his left handedness, took a bite of the broccoli, and continued.

   "Savio, that's my cousin, was unemployed the entire time I was there - he pretty much took care of his three kids while his wife worked, unless he wanted to take me on a hike or drive to some important or noteworthy place nearby, in which case he would drop the kids off with one of his sisters, whichever one wasn't currently mad at him, and then we'd spend the day playing tourist and tour guide - and Savio was a great tour guide, knew where a ton of obscure or rarely visited stuff was, and knew a lot of people. I don't think we went anywhere that he didn't know at least two or three people who were happy to see him, graciously providing us with at least a filling snack and even occasionally joined us if we were going on a hike, like the day we went to Saint Christiana to mingle with the rich and famous, or when we went to Venice so I could ride in a real Gondola."

   After wolfing down another few pieces of broccoli and taking a long sip off his pint, he picked up right where he left off.

   "Yeah, you wouldn't believe all the people I met in the little towns and villages that he'd take me to that had never left the area they were born and raised in to go visit fantastic places that were only an hour or two away. Hell, Rome was only about as far away as we are from Durango, and Savio had never been to Rome until I talked him into driving down for a weekend. Can you believe that? One of the world's capital's in his own backyard and he'd never been there. We had a pretty good time there, too, but after we got back all he could say was that it was okay. Man, that beats all, eh?'

   He dug into the last of the broccoli and started on the loaded baked potato, but didn't let that slow down his recounting of his fun-filled summer.

   "We even drove to a small town in Slovenia - Bovie or Bovic, something like that, which was a beautiful drive, just really amazing scenery. It's a small, touristy place surrounded by incredible mountains and a lot of war memorials from both world wars. A really beautiful place but it rained the entire time we were there."

   Pausing to take a couple more swigs of beer, he then turned to me and asked, "So, what did you do this summer" 

If You're Hungry And You're At A Major Sporting Event

 Dogs. Specifically Hot Dogs. Those German sausages that cooks in these here United States co-opted to the point where we now claim them as our own creation.

They are, for the most part, delicious - even if you've been to a hot dog factory and watched them being made, they are still delicious.  

Especially (for unknown psychosomatic reasons) if you are at a major sporting event.

I've had Sonoran Dogs (aka the Padres dog) Dodger dogs, Rockie dogs, Chicago dogs, the Giant dog (San Fran, not NY), the Arizona dog (Diamondbacks), Thurmann's stadium dog (MetLife in NJ) and the only corn dog I'll eat, the Iowa Cubs corndog (because - spicy bacon mustard).

That's just the tip of the iceberg though - the variety of hot dogs served at major (and minor) sporting events is spectacular - it's enough to almost convince a guy to drive around the country visiting arenas and stadiums just to sample them.

For example, Tampa Bay offers what they call the First Down dog, which is a big dog loaded with bar-be-que brisket, jalapenos and coleslaw, pickled onions, all covered with shredded cheese on a Hawaiian roll bun.

While attending a Rangers game in Texas you can get the  Boomstick, which is a one pound hot dog (!) that has been slathered in meaty Texas chili, cheese and onions then wrapped in a corn tamale, then drenched in more meaty Texas chili and hot melted nacho cheese...I think I felt my arteries harden a little as I typed that.

If chili is your condiment of choice, Cincinnati offers a Coney Island dog topped with cinnamon chili, mustard, cheddar cheese and onions.

Seattle has an interesting take on the hot dog - it's actually a battered fish filet served on a bun with coleslaw - they call it the Ivardog.

The Detroit Tigers can brag about a unique dog too - they have eggrolls stuffed with chopped up hot dogs and chili covered in mustard and onions. Daaannnnnggg.... 

There is a dog served up in Philadelphia that features a cured pastrami sausage topped with hickory-smoked bacon and shredded red cabbage, plus Tarragon mustard to stimulate all of your taste buds.

This list is making me hungry. Going to have to stop at Costco on the way into work for the buck fifty quarter pound beef dog and soda. My belly is rumbling with joy.

Rattling Around Inside The Nutshell

Those of us on the downhill slide

Looking back at how far we had to climb

In order to make it a memorable ride

Shout out to those making double-time

Slow down, relax, try to abide

Savor every moment of your prime

Second Careers That Eclipse A Successful (Mildly) First Career, Instance # 329876

   

  Home designed by BAT Architecture and Design partnership built on pre-fab bridge that spans Canyon Creek in Berkeley, Ca.

   A long time ago he lived a different life, almost a double-life.

   His family and close friends knew him as Bruce, most others knew him as Ted

   As Ted by night (and occasionally by day, for rehearsal's sake) he played drums in one of America's definitive early Punk Rock bands, one known for it's politically charged lyrics, the extreme (some would say violent) attitude of the lead vocalist/primary songwriter, and the difficult-to-market (for the time - it would be splashed all over Hot Topic nowadays) name of the band itself.

   A little over two and a half years behind the kit, enduring poorly attended tours (on the East Coast at least, where they were largely unknown and where their particular choice of a band name really didn't go over), and the over-reactions of a media that were either too dense to pick up on the satire of the bands song lyrics (and performances known for the use of shock value to hammer a point or two about free speech and civil rights), were enough. He decided it was time to move on from that life and start a new one.

   He returned to school (RISD and Pratt) and rekindled a passion (architecture and design) that had really never left him - it had just sat idle as he burned through his youthful rebellion energy. 

   His second life has been very successful, and in one of the most delicious ironies of all time, his architectural firm/partnership had a hand in the creation of the Hot Topic retail chain's image.

   Way to go Mr Slesinger, an inspiration to all of us still looking for our niche

   

Like A Finger in A Socket, Tongue Tied To A Rocket

He sat there, dejected, not sure how much more he could take

Couldn't see how he was going to get over the pain

Like riding an emotional rollercoaster in an earthquake

Heartbreak explosion like a nitroglycerin milkshake

Everybody says they care but nobody understands

Plenty of fish in the sea, you'll get over her, you'll see

Everybody has felt this way before and since

Everyone has had to deal with it, everyone has been a misfit

Sixteen, and never going to be able to make it to seventeen

Sixteen, and stuck in the dreaded in-between

Immaturity and doubt, obscurity and striking out

Falling down, falling back, can't wait until he's eighteen

Nobody wants to tell him it won't be any better then