Always Have An Out

 "What," said Jerry, "is the least likely athletic event you could still possibly engage in but would never in a millon years even attempt?"

"You mean, like the Boston Marathon or a bike race, something like that?" replied Vince, removing the drink from his mouth in order to do so.

"Yes, exactly, any athletic event along those lines, something that is possible, if not probable."

Jerry stuck his fork in the pasta that covered his plate and pushed and pulled at his dinner while watching Vince mull over the question.

"Hmmm..." Vince mused. "I'm going to have to go with surfing. In order to learn to surf I'd have to learn to swim, and I'd also have to get in an ocean, and oceans are full of creatures that can kill a man with one bite."

With a bemused expression Jerry stared at his friend for a few seconds and then responded with just a hint a sarcasm in his voice. "You've never even seen an ocean, much less put a toe in the water, and yet you're going to rule out surfing? How the hell can you you do that? You might love being in the water, you might take to it like a fish!"

"Yeah, Vince retorted, "That could be true, and I might take to the air like a bird but I'm still not going parachuting either."

Jerry squinted at his friend and said, "Well why didn't you say parachuting then? I can understand the danger of parachuting, much more realistic a fear than being afraid of the ocean."

"Because parachuting is not an athletic event. It's just trying suicide with an out. And I'm not afraid of the ocean, just what's in it."