An acquaintance of mine told me he had flown out to Vegas the other day with the intention of getting married.
'cept when he and his bride-to-be showed up at the little chapel on the strip (I have no idea which specific one), the proprietors of the joint refused to marry them.
Not because they showed up two hours past the scheduled hour of betrothal, and not because they could not produce the required Clark County, NV marriage license, and not even because neither of them were wearing masks.
The people who ran the little chapel of now & forever bliss refused to marry them because they were just about falling-down drunk.
Of course, this was not the first time the proprietors of the little church of endless joy had encountered that specific situation, and they had a plan in place for just such contingencies.
They escorted TG & his future devoted life-long hunny bunny down a hall to a room they called "Recovery."
In this room were a few lounge chairs, recliners, and even what appeared to TG an antique fainting couch (repo, no doubt).
TG also explained that the room had a large kitchen sink, a bathroom, and cases of bottled water stacked everywhere.
And, he further elaborated, their were little trash cans all over the room - virtually encircling each lounge chair and recliner.
I got married in Vegas once, I do not remember the place AB & I got married at having anything like that.
Of course, we did not show up at the place hours late, and drunk out of our gourds, so there well could have been a room exactly like that there, we just never had to make use of it.
As TG was telling me this story I noticed he was not wearing a wedding band, and there was no Mrs TG in sight (we were in a fairly small bar & grill, fairly easy to scope out the room).
I gave TG a quizzical look and pointed at his empty ring finger. At which time he started laughing his tookus off.
For a few seconds I thought I was going to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver, or at least give him a quick hard slap, but he regained control of himself and then told me the rest of the story.
It seems he had almost immediately passed out in one of the recliners, coming to periodically to make use of a couple of the trash cans and once to spend a few minutes with his face under the cold running water of the kitchen sink.
On none of the those occasions, he stated, did it occur to him to check on his blushing bride to be.
After he passed out following the kitchen sink experience, he was awoken first by someone kicking his feet, and second by that same someone emptying a full bottle of water on the crotch of his pants.
Needless to say, he got up with a start and started yelling and flailing about the room. The woman who had agreed to marry him returned his yelling & flailing in kind, and they continued this until a stout young man open the door with what TG said was a dramatic flair, and asked in a loud firm voice,
"Is everything okay?"
The woman who had been all set to enter the magical world of matrimony just hours before looked at the stout young man and calmly asked, "Would you please call me a cab?". The stout young man turned away and had nearly shut the door when the now-reluctant bride spoke up again, "Wait for me please, I do not want to be alone in this room with this idiot."
And with that she gathered up her phone and purse, bunched up her dress as much as she could, and stalked out.
TG told me he just stood in the room for about twenty minutes after she left and then noticed the time - it was only 3:30 in the afternoon, which meant they must have shown up for their 10:30 wedding at 12:30, and they'd only been in that room drying out for a couple of hours.
TG stood there next to me holding his drink for a few quiet seconds, so I took the opportunity to ask him a question.
"When and where did you meet this woman?"
"Fortnight. We meet playing Fortnight a few months back. She has mad skills when it comes to online zombie killing. She wasn't like any of the other women I'd meet playing the game."
I do not know much about Fortnight, but I do know there are over 250 million registered players - and chances are neither TG nor the former fiancé were unique players in anyway, shape or form.
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