Not Necessarily A Poem Extolling The Virtues Of True Love

                             Somewhere in the badlands of Utah, October 2006

Everybody's starving
For the right word 
But lately we've all been accepting table scraps
Consisting of meaningless phrases 

                 Blind man staring
                 At what he overheard
                 Waiting for civilizations inevitable collapse 
                 While dancing with the three Graces

                 Glenn Campbell is traveling a lonesome river
                    Trying to get lucky 
                       With a woman who has a cold heart
                           She's a dead giveaway in her short skirt

                               That quiver in his voice makes her shiver
                                     Takes her away from being a junkie
                                           She's not lonesome 
                                                  But she'll play the part
                                                       A cheap dinner 
                                                            Followed by 
                                                                Expensive
                                                                    Dessert
                                                                           
                                 



               

Not Trying Is The Biggest Failure

                                   Somewhere in the southern Nevada desert.

Motivational speakers 
Give each other high fives
For getting people to get off their collective asses
To come down to their seminars
Where they can sell these people
$250.00 instructional manuals on DVD or CD 
With the 

Not-so-secret
Not-so-revolutionary
Not-so-banned-by-the-Vatican
Not-so-hidden-by-the-government
Not-so-available-for-a-limited-time-only
Not-so-recently-revealed-lost-ancient-knowledge
Not-so-developed-by-NASA-for-the-US-Space-Program
Not-so-discovered-by European-researchers-in-Switzerland

Information that will change their lives

At the risk of being tracked down by a ruthless Latvian assassin who has been contracted by the aforementioned motivational speaker collective, I will now reveal the secret free of charge.

Do whatever it is that makes you happy, and start as early as you can. 

However, pursue what makes you happy in a responsible manner. The world doesn't owe you a damn thing. It is your responsibility to ensure you have enough to eat and a place to sleep.

You might have to get a second job.

The Abyss Always Has Room For A Few More

Down on his luck

Back in 1902, Jack London, celebrated author and activist, packed up his bags and moved to the East End of London, England, which at the time was a notorious slum (the East End of London was still a pretty dumpy place when I paid a visit in '97, but from what I read, the 2012 Olympics brought a ton of urban renewal to the area).

Mr. London took such action for the explicit purpose of gathering material for an expose on the dreadful conditions that London's poor endured. He slept rough on the streets and in workhouses, alongside the hundreds of thousands of the very least fortunate of the least fortunate.

He wrote a book, The People of The Abyss, which was released to wide acclaim in 1903. The book was similar too and most probably inspired by Dutch Immigrant Jacob Riis' book about New York's slums, How The Other Half Lives, published in 1890.

Over 100 years ago, intelligent, earnest, well-intentioned people were making serious efforts to lesson the suffering of the homeless, or rather houseless as a large number of these men (primarily men - about 80% in the U.S., 85% in Europe) prefer to be called.

And yet the ranks of the unsheltered homeless continue to swell, despite the efforts of an army of the altruistic.

Most people assume that the vast majority of the homeless are alcohol and/or drug addicted, which, from my experience, is decidedly true. I'm not just surprised when I meet a homeless person who does not have an alcohol or drug problem, I am genuinely shocked.

In over 20 years of doing what little I can, whether it's been via the Brother Francis shelter or other such organizations, I think I have met exactly two people who were homeless and not addicted to something. Both of those men had lost jobs, then homes, then found themselves out on the streets. Both of those guys also got back on their feet with the assistance of a private organization. 

No country that I have visited has been without a homeless population. There are people living rough everywhere. 

In the most advanced social democracies, in countries such as Norway and Sweden that boast relatively small, homogeneous populations and a tight control over immigration, as well as social safety nets that give "mothering" a whole new meaning, there are homeless.

Why? Simply put, because there are, have always been, and always will be, people who cannot take care of themselves. It's an ugly reality, but it is the reality.

In the course of my work with a few different agencies that try to alleviate the suffering of the homeless, I have met a number of eager, fresh-faced young kids, usually in their first or second years of college, who genuinely believe they can not only save people from themselves, they can indeed change the world.

Each and every single one of these kids spends one, maybe two days working the kitchen, and then usually disappear. A few have worked the outreach, which is commendable, because that is one thankless job, let me tell you. 

If you are feeling like you might want to volunteer at a shelter, I can tell you it is incredibly rewarding, but it is also incredibly...jading. You are not going to see many examples of the best humanity has on offer. You will be beset by constant requests for money (never give any one a dime - not one dime) and you'll probably have a few items stolen - coats, wallets, purses, etc.

If you are wondering how volunteering at a shelter can be rewarding after that last paragraph, I'll tell you what it is for me: I leave knowing that I am one lucky dude.

It is easy to get indignant and self-righteous when you see a homeless person and tell yourself they only have themselves to blame for their situations, but that's only half of it.

The other half is pure, blind luck. Chances are good that the average chronically homeless person wasn't blessed with two loving parents who encouraged them to excel, stay in school, learn a trade, indulge in moderation, practice self-control, etc.

Some of you who know the circumstances of my youth might now be saying "Whoa, you did not have any of that pure, blind luck. WTF?"

Which is all the more reason I consider myself the luckiest man on the planet.

Sure, I was one of six kids raised by a single-parent, but that single parent, my Mom, was pretty damn good at instilling a work ethic, and she made damn sure we all graduated, at least from high school. 

It's more likely that a chronically homeless person was abused, either physically or emotionally, and turned to drugs and/or alcohol for relief. Chances are a chronically homeless person was never shown how to work for a living, how to care for themselves, how to make it on their own, and thus simply does not know how.

Hell, growing up in San Diego, It was pretty easy to get a glimpse of how lucky I was just by spending a day in Tijuana. Tijuana is not exactly the garden spot of Mexico now, it was close to abject squalor back then. 

RT used to go into Tijuana and volunteer with building one room shelters for whole families over there - a one room shelter, with no running water or electricity, for a whole family.

Yep, we are some lucky mofo's. Me and everyone that has a computer, access to the internet, and can read.

Those of us living in homes we own or rent, that have jobs that allow us to pay our bills, that are not crippled by dependency on chemicals...we are the lucky, whether we recognize it or not.  

I know for a fact I'm the luckiest guy most people have ever met, and I'm reminded of that fact almost every day. 

And everyday I try not to screw it up.

The Most Exalted Endeavorer Of Human Endeavors

 Butch and Lucy Loo. One of these dogs is not going to make the cover of Field & Stream

Shooting the ol' conversational breeze with a few chums today when the topic of great human endeavor came up. That's what happens when Football season ends and Baseball season hasn't kicked in yet - people start talking about human endeavor outside of the world of sport.

I suppose if the Avalanche were playing up to par, or if any of us had more than a passing interest in the Nuggets, we would at least sprinkle some hockey and basketball into the conversation, but no, at least not this evening.

This evening we talked about explorers, inventors, generals, poets, artists, businessmen, and men of God.

We didn't play the game of "Who was the greatest" in a particular field so much as we played the game of "Who was the most influential."

For example, while most people will agree that Leonardo da Vinci was quite possibly the most multi-dimensional talent that ever lived, his influence was limited by his secretive nature - all of his great ideas were buried in notebooks that did not see the light of day until centuries after his death, and he wrote all his great ideas in mirror writing - not a pragmatic way of getting the word out.

And as an artist, Mona Lisa aside, most of the twenty or so paintings he finished are somewhat pedestrian.

Most Influential in a specific field of human endeavor may seem like a tricky row to plow, but for me it isn't. I generally regard the most influential as the one who is most imitated.

This is what caused a bit of conflict in tonight's discussion, as both Mark and Roy thought "most influential" should also include most end user exposure of an idea or product. They both cited the example of Philo T. Farnsworth, the inventor of practical electronic television (and, incidentally, a nuclear fusion device) - not many people know who he is, but everybody utilizes his invention.

But then I threw in glass, stating that if end user application was to be considered, then the anonymous person who first formulated glass would have to be considered the most influential person in history simply because of the incredible universal usefulness of glass.

So we compromised a bit. We agreed that most influential would have to be a combination of both - most end users, and most imitators.

Henry Ford was immediately considered, as his application of the assembly line to automobile manufacturing has had a decided influence on the lives of people in nearly every country on the planet, and his business model has been duplicated by incalculable thousands.

So was Johannes Gutenberg, of course. Mechanical movable type ruled the world for almost 500 years, and it's beyond imagination how it's application influenced nearly every single human who could read or write.

Of course Jesus Christ, Buddha, Mohamed and even Billy Graham were included. The influence of religious leaders is impossible to over-estimate, bringing order and solace (as well as, unfortunately, chaos and strife) to billions.

In this day and age, when celebrities are given so much exposure they can actually influence elections and public policy, naturally such figures as Oprah, Letterman, et. al., were brought up. However, it was quickly agreed upon that in the historical perspective, most celebs have very little lasting influence. We all remember when Erik Estrada ruled the world.

Finally, we all had arrived at who we thought was the most influential person who has ever lived on the planet Earth.

Roy: Isaac Newton. I should mention that Roy Works for SAIC. I put Newton in my top 5, easily.

Corine: Jesus Christ. Doubtful that the influence of Christ on humanity can be overestimated - even those who do not recognize or follow the teachings of Jesus Christ are reacting to his influence.

Dina: John F. Kennedy. Dina is Irish, and Catholic, and a Democrat.
    
Mark: Copernicus. He did turn the world on it's head, so to speak. Hard to not go with that choice.

Me: Thomas Jefferson. Simply for the words "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." It is my belief that those are the single most important words ever put down on paper (or parchment - I think it was parchment).

As I stated earlier, an influential person is one who is oft-imitated. Hard to argue with the imitators of Tom Jefferson. 187 years after his death and the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness are still considered good ideas. 

Writing A Country Ballad On A Saturday Night*

                                      Today's storm coming in from the Northwest

I couldn't buy the Sunday paper
Because I had given some bum all of my change
Now I'm sitting here in this diner
Hoping those clouds don't turn into rain

It's much too late to call a mis-deal
Going to have to play the cards in my hand
I upped the bet like I was a big wheel
But things haven't turned out the way I planned

Because it's a long way back to yesterday
Back when she thought I was the Man of Tomorrow
Yes it's a long way back to yesterday
A time when life was free of all this sorrow
All of this sorrow
All of this sorrow

Today isn't the tomorrow it was meant to be

Maybe if I bought her some flowers and a bauble
Or is that a spent shell in the gun?
What the hey, it was such a minor squabble
Why the hell did I grab my hat and run?

Got a room for the night in the Lucky U motel
Going to watch reruns with a bottle
All the while hoping she'll text me on my cell
Telling me she's in it for the long haul

Because it's a long way back to yesterday
Back when she thought I was the Man of Tomorrow
Yes it's a long way back to yesterday
A time when life was free of all this sorrow
All of this sorrow
All of this sorrow

Tonight doesn't mean tomorrow wasn't meant to be

*As with all the material on this blog, U.S. and International copyright laws apply!

Reconsideration Is A Virtue, Vacillation Is A Vice

    Close up pic of one of the piano's on the 16th street mall that was painted by the extremely talented Naomi Haverland

It's easy enough to be done with something or someone
The tricky thing is to be able to take another look
                                       Maybe from a different perspective
                                       And reconsider
Of course that requires one to reexamine
                                       All the facts of the situation
                                       Carefully

Some people are capable of being extremely fickle
With their attentions, affections, attractions and such
                                       Opinions and decisions changing
                                       Like the summer weather in Falkirk
Never pausing to reflect on the long-term repercussions
                                       They are slaves to the moment
                                       Pathetically 

In youth, vacillation is the norm, for we know not our selves
With the years, if we are fortunate, we learn to stay true
                                       To those that are real
                                       To that which we can trust
There are those unfortunates who never learn to be either
                                       And so they are lost to all
                                       Eventually
                                       

The Joy Of A Well-Turned Curse

This afternoon as I stood in line at the Post Office I overheard two women talking about someone they both knew who had done something particularly unpleasant to another mutual acquaintance. 

One of the women quipped in the course of the conversation that she hoped "his dick rotted like a month old banana." 

Needless to say, I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. The urge to high-five that woman for such a colorful curse was nearly overwhelming.

Afterward, as I drove back to the house, I thought about how much of a shame it is that people don't curse creatively more often.

Curses have gone the way of the laudatory blessing, which is, I suppose, fitting, as curses and blessings are the opposite sides of a very fickle coin.

Nowadays, people want to be derogatory towards someone, it's usually a quick "Fcuk 'em!"

Which is not creative, and dreadfully boring, and just plain lazy.

There was a time when people cursed, and writers wrote curses, and actors spoke curses in the dialogue of well-written movies.

The first curse I can recall hearing was the classic "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits." Klinger said that on an episode of M*A*S*H. Of course now I know it's a timeless classic, but at the time I didn't - I just thought it was a riot.

For awhile it seemed like almost all of the literature I was exposed to contained at least one good curse, and so did a great number of the movies I watched.

That must of been due to the fact that I read a lot of old classic fiction, and watched a lot of old classic films.

Thinking about creative curses got me thinking of some of the curses I had chanced upon in my youth. Here are some of my favorite curses of all time, with attribution if I can recall where I heard or read it (I will not be delving into Google to seek out the true originator of any of these curses, I'm just going to write where I heard or read them first):

"You misbegotten offspring of questionable parentage." That was from an issue of Conan written by Roy Thomas. I have no idea if it originated with him, but that's where I first read it.

"May you fall into the cesspool of an outhouse at a Grateful Dead show just before the bad brownies hit the intestines of the Deadheads who drank all the bad spiked cider." T.J., a guy I was in the USAF with said that once. T.J. was one funny dude.

"May your wedding feast give you the runs on your wedding night." That's a traditional Irish curse I heard from a girl named Gemma when I was living in Glasgow (She wasn't saying it to me, just telling me it).

"May you be able to heat your home from the heartburn caused by your wife's cooking." Is a Jewish curse I heard years ago from a half-Jewish, half-Protestant guy I met in a youth hostel in London. We were playing trivial pursuit and he was losing badly when he said it.

"May your son fall in love with a nice Jewish Doctor!" used to be a common Jewish curse. Hard to imagine it still carrying the weight it once did. I don't recall where I first heard that - might have been in a movie.

"May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose" is a funny one from a Country song by Jimmy Dickens. Mr. Meyers had that song on one of his 3 hour long reel-to-reel tapes.

I was raised in Southeast San Diego, and at the time it was a predominately black neighborhood. I heard a lot of great insults back then, but not a lot of great curses. The only insult I ever heard that was even close to a curse was "I hope your mama makes you take a bath so we can see how white you really are." That was one black guy speaking to another, btw.

My maternal ancestry is Lithuanian and I've done a bit of research on the people and culture of Lithuania, and while there is a lot of interesting stuff there, cursing is not, shall we say, a practiced art among the Lithuanians.

Lithuanians just aren't much for serious cursing. Their curses seem a bit silly, actually. A classic example is "May you drown in a spoon."

What's that supposed to mean? Are you hoping somebody shrinks to a size that allows for drowning in a spoon? Is it a wish that a person should trip and fall into a Giant's spoon and thus drown? I don't get it.

That's probably my curse, not getting it. I pissed off a Gypsy in Barcelona one evening, and she spat something at me that I roughly translated as "May your brain be dwarfed by a grain of sand."

That's gotta be it.