Triptych: The Transcendental Vacuum Torrent Principle

Created this morning from the fragments of a horrible nightmare remembered while folding the laundry and conversing with Ninja Larry about the effects of nitroglycerine on architecture.

Each piece measures 20" by 36". Not available for purchase until the paint dries. Not the paint on these pieces though - there is no paint on these per se - the paint drying in question is that which I applied to a completely unrelated oil painting that was also created this morning, but is of a more personal nature so shall not be made available for public viewing. 

The Classic Sea-Shanty As A Show Biz Cautionary Tune

You'll need a clever gimmick, or you'll be dismissed as a mimic

Trying to crash the big show

Nobody will lend a hand or even try to understand

If you slip and begin your descent to skid row

They're a hard crowd to please so you better show some expertise

With exuberance and a well-practiced smile

That's what they demand when you put yourself up on the stand

And position yourself above the rank & file

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner

Every night's a new trial

You'll need more than looks to make it past the schnooks

Who pat you on the back with a slippery hand

They'll promise you gold and then leave you cold

When your looks fade like a tarnished wedding band

Soon you'll be waiting tables in Tarzana

Serving up drinks with a plastic smile

They're a hard crowd to please, those are sharks you have to appease

To position yourself above the rank & file

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner

Every night's a new trial

If lucky you'll get an agent who isn't all hellbent

On cattle-calls, open auditions, or worse

With well-rehearsed stage walkers and dispossessed door-knockers 

All looking for their own way in

Aye, they'll have a Doc fix your skin and a Dentist your teeth

Might have to even change your name

Have to give the people something easy to digest

If you want to be a player in this crazy game  

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner 

Every night's a new trial

Be careful of the sleaze that lay in wait behind the artificial trees

Compromising integrity is their stock in trade

They shake hands with ease while forcing you to your knees

Assuring you that's how everyone makes the grade

Have to pay the Devil or at least a talent scout

If it means another rung up the ladder of success

In show biz you're always one step away

From shining bright to burning out

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner

Every night's a new trial

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner

Every night's a new trial

Never forget that every night's a new trial my friend

Every single night's a new trial

One day you're the headliner, the next week you're a flatliner

Every night's a new trial

Envy Man Vs Gratitude Man

    Yesterday I was told in no uncertain terms that I was naïve for believing that we (as in all of us, every single living soul on the planet) are living in the best possible time to be alive there has ever been, at least as far as recorded history goes.

   The person who leveled that accusation at me is someone I consider very intelligent, and also very socially aware, but at the same time I regard that person as intellectually blind and, for lack of a better descriptor, envious.

   Not envious of me - actually not envious of anyone in particular (that I know of) but still, envious. 

   Yesterday was not the first time this person told me I was naïve, BTW, and this might not be the first time I've written about him stating it. Life repeats itself and so do I.

   If I had to describe the specific type of envy this person is afflicted with, it would be an envy of other people's living situations - not of other people's material wealth or status or abilities, but of their actual living situations, how they go about their lives on a daily basis without having to deal with the stuff he has to deal with.

   For, if you ask him, he has to deal with a lot of bad stuff that other people do not, and it's all because of either big business or the government or some other external factor.

   From the perspective of an outsider looking in there are people who would be amazed to learn that I consider this person envious, as this person has everything most people could ever want - a home of his own (really a condo, but it is a sweet condo in a great complex - the amenities included with his HOA include a community center with a pool and a nice little gym), a newer car (it's electric, too!) and a great job (technically he's self-employed, but works as often as he wants too, and makes more than most people I know).

   He also goes on a lot of vacations, but that's something I'm envious of and this is about his envy, so we won't discuss that.

   Because his envy seems to me to be the specific reason why he believes that I'm naïve.

   See, this person has a habit of pointing out things that he perceives as being "unfair", and then elaborating on the unfairness as being the result of either A) big business, or B) the government.

   Yes, I realize that it is odd for a person to lay the blame for world problems at the feet of both big business and the government, but this is truly something he does without fail.

   The point is, whenever he does this I am in the habit of contradicting him, pointing out flaws in his reasoning, and generally maximizing the positive aspects of whatever it is he's harping on and minimizing the negative aspects.

   Our discussions are never really contentious BTW, as he and I have somewhat of an unspoken agreement that each of us are entitled to our opinions, no matter how wrong they may be.

   However, I have a blog and he doesn't so I'm going to tell the world how wrong he is for being unable to see how good we all have it (again, as in all of us crawling across this big blue & green marble), and that while he may level accusations of naivete at me, I'm going to retort with accusations about him being envious.

   Because we live in a wonderful time to be alive, one in which the technology exist that allows me to publicly post rants that anyone on the planet with access to the internet can read, and nod their heads in agreement with.

  Right?   

   

Repression Of The Upper Class

   What, you may ask yourself, could possibly constitute repression of the upper class? And what, you may also be asking yourself, constitutes the upper class?

   Second question gets answered first. For as long as humans have lived in groups, whether those groups consisted of five people or 500 million people plus, the upper class has generally been recognized as the ruling elite, the landed gentry, the politically entrenched (or at least connected), the aristocracy, and of course the wealthy - regardless of the era or the particular economic system in use at the time or place, the upper class has always been (and probably always will be) those who hold the reigns of power, whether public or private.

   Every country that ever existed on this planet had/has an upper class/ruling elite, no matter what altruistic spin the upper class/ruling elite put on it (the "first among equals" bullshit the Soviet communists spun was an epic public relations masterpiece - the number of bright young college students who bought into that is astounding even to this day).

   Now that what constitutes the upper class has been established, the first question will be answered.

   And the answer is not "taxes". The upper class learned how to deal with those a long, long time ago.

   This answer, btw, comes solely from my own personal experience. It is not from some tightly controlled, double-blind study conducted under strict, scientific grade conditions.

   It's what I have observed from my personal interactions with the upper class if you will.

   There are a number of things that the upper class considers repression (seriously, taxes are not one of them - the upper class controls taxation, you should know that by now), but the number one thing the upper class considers repression has to be inconvenience on any level. 

   Especially inconvenience when it is defined as "waiting." The upper class are, by and large, an impatient lot. They want what they want now, without excuses.

   Because, after all, they are the elite, they are special, why should they have to wait for anything?

   When a member of the upper class wants anything, be it a new car or a new sofa, they want it asap, and that asap better be pronto, or else.

   Or else what you might ask? Well, in this day and age, in this particular country, "or else" means they are going to have to speak to the manager, and if they get no satisfaction from the manager, they will continue to demand to speak to whoever manages the manager ad infinitum, until they are given satisfaction.

   So, word to the wise, if you want to get along with the upper class, don't make them wait. It might cost you a stern reprimand, or a poor Yelp review.

   And lord knows you don't want that.

   

Nylon Covered, Rubber Padded - Available At Schlossmans!

 

The Passing Of A Genuine Man

A neighbor of mine passed away last week

It was a shock to receive the news

He was the kind of neighbor you were happy to have as a friend

A happy man, quick with a smile and a cheerful hello

He liked people, liked to sit a spell and chat

Was always ready to lend a helping hand if needed 

Planted flowers in his yard, put up lights for Christmas

Treasured his wife and his kids

Worked as hard as anyone I ever knew

Whether it was on the job or at his home

He put his back into anything and everything

Liked to get things done

Life is fragile, unpredictable, unfathomable

Rob Kelly was as full of life as a person could be

And he shared that enthusiasm, that energy

With everyone he met everyday

He will be missed

Roastin' Hot Dogs On The Road

 

                                     Picture and paragraph from Popular Mechanics, 1947

   Ever get a hankerin' for a hot dog while driving down the road? Did you ever wish there was a way you could just toss a few 'dogs in a cooker designed to be used in a car to make satisfying that nearly insatiable hankerin' possible?

   Well, your wish has been granted! Or rather, it was granted over 75 years ago when the Thomas company of Chicago introduced the Mickey's Hot Dog Sizzler. It could cook two hot dogs at one time and was small enough to store in most glove compartments.

   Unfortunately, these are no longer being manufactured. Maybe one will pop up on Ebay.

   Hard to imagine that in this day and age of self-driving electric cars that boast infotainment screens almost twice the size of the average home television screen available to the retail consumer 75 years ago, a person has to satisfy their on-the-road hot dog hankering with cold wieners.