What My Vehicle Of Choice Says About Me

I have found myself with a lot of free time at the moment, like, a whole hour or maybe even more with nothing to do, because I am sitting in a small waiting room waiting on an appointment that has been delayed due to the person I'm supposed to be meeting being delayed by a small traffic accident they were involved in.

I could leave and come back, but then I'd either have to walk around downtown looking for something to do, or drive somewhere looking for something to do (and hope I can find as good a parking spot as I have now when I get back).

Or I can just sit here and get on my laptop, which is what, obviously, I am doing.

One of the drawbacks to having to keep myself entertained when I thought I was going to be doing something other than just sitting around is that I invariably begin to start thinking critically of...things.

Things that irritate me, specifically.

Such as this website that features top ten lists (Top Ten Places To Vacation, Ten Foods To Absolutely Avoid, etc.) that somehow got a hold of my email address (which can't be that hard - probably a result of my incessant search for arcane trivia on the internet).

A list titled "Ten Things Your Car Says About You" was in my inbox this morning, and of course I read it - can't help myself, gotta read items of that nature.

The list must have been compiled by a bored high school student who has yet to hone their critical thinking skills, as every single item on the list was simply a regurgitated stereotype.

For example, the list declares that if you own a mini-van or SUV (specifying a Honda Odyssey for the mini-van, oddly enough) you are probably a Soccer mom - not a stretch to imagine that there are a number of Soccer moms that own mini-vans or an SUV (here in Colorado, it's most definitely an SUV) but that is far from the only demographic that owns mini-vans or SUVs. 

Heck, I know a number of electricians, plumbers, and the like who own mini-vans, simply because once you remove all the seats you have a huge amount of room for gear, and a far more comfortable front seat (and many more convenience features) than you get in a conventional van configured for the construction trade.

The list goes on to stipulate (with sources cited as "according to recent studies"), that if you drive a sedan you probably vote Democrat & if you drive a truck you most likely vote Republican, if you drive a Nissan 350Z or a Dodge Charger you're probably a speed demon, If you drive a "tricked out" truck you lack confidence but if you drive a dark blue car you are not only confident but probably want to be regarded as an authority figure, if your vehicle sports stick figure family decals you are probably establishing your place in the social hierarchy/declaring your status (wtf?), if you drive a muscle car (or sports car) you probably love driving and working on cars - heck, the list even makes the claim that if your car is messy you're probably a multitasker.

There are a few more claims on the list that are just as egregious, but I'm beating a dead doorknob here.

It is obvious that the writer of the list knows absolutely nothing about automobile (or transportation) culture, or about regional, class, peer, or ethnic influences on vehicle choices, not to mention what is possibly the ultimate deciding factor in choosing a car - economic status.

In my experience, both as a car buyer and as a car salesman (for almost five full years at a car dealership that sold over 400 vehicles a month), I think I can safely make that claim.

And I can safely refute the claims made in the list as well.

I wrote at the get-go that mini-vans are as likely to be driven by people who work in the construction trades as they are to be driven by Soccer moms, but I'll add trucks and SUVs to that statement.

Yeah, it's rather obvious that construction workers are more likely to drive trucks, but in my experience, construction workers love SUVs as well, especially the barn door Suburban. You can easily access materials and gear in a barn door Suburban, and you can get to most any job site, no matter how unimproved the access roads are.

Just based on the people I see nearly everyday (people I work with, friends and relatives, people in my neighborhood) I am at a loss as to how the writer came to the conclusion that sedan drivers are more likely to vote Democrat and truck drivers are more likely to vote Republican.

Maybe it was some statistical extrapolation - I mean, if you look at the list of top 299 vehicles sold in the U.S. for 2016 and do a little math (available at www.goodcarbadcar.net) you will see that nearly 2.7 million trucks were sold that year (I'm counting every size and configuration of truck on the list, btw), while if you count just the vehicles that qualify as sedans (meaning it has 4 doors and is not a truck or SUV or Crossover SUV), you will see there were well over 4 million sedans sold. 

So maybe the writer thought that must mean more Democrats drive sedans because, well, I don't know why - maybe because it's just hard for the writer to imagine a Democrat driving a truck? 

I wonder if the writer is not aware that a huge number of people who work in the construction trades drive trucks, and that a large percent of them belong to Unions, and that the vast majority of Union members vote Democrat? 

Of the aforementioned people I see everyday most everyone drives an SUV or truck. Of course I live in Colorado, which almost mandates driving an SUV or truck.

Jeeps, Highlanders, trucks of every make, and of course Subaru's aplenty in these parts.

I know three people who drive sedans. I know one of those people votes Democrat and one votes Republican. The third person does not vote, and makes that fact known.

Lets see...I can think of six people I know I would consider speed demons (as in, they drive much faster than I ever would and have the speeding tickets to prove it)

One drives a Scion tc, one drives a Ford Focus, one drives an older Mercedes sedan (I think it's a 2003 SL500) one drives a Volvo XC90 (the twin turbo, which hauls ass btw), one drives a Subaru WRX, and one drives a Ford F-150

Being a speed demon is not determined by the vehicle one drives IMHO. It's determined by one's driving habits - and whether or not you're late for work.

The claim on the list that I think is most ludicrous is the statement that people with messy cars are multitaskers.

No. Eleventybillion times no.

In the nearly 5 years I was in the car business, every single trade that came in looking like a trash receptacle was owned by a person who was as disorganized as a person could possibly be and still manage a way to procure a driver's license.

Those people, each and everyone of them, were disorganized in every aspect of their lives - I can clearly remember watching individuals that came in with trashed cars digging through wallets or purses looking for licenses or proof of insurance, and waiting for them to provide car titles would sometimes take weeks.

Most of the people I know personally who have messy cars I wouldn't trust to carry scissors while walking.

Oh, and dark blue vehicles being driven by confident wanna be authority figures? Dark blue vehicles are fleet or government vehicles.

And drivers of "tricked out" vehicles of any type - trucks, sedans, SUV's, etc., do not necessarily lack confidence. In fact, the opposite is probably true - it takes confidence to drive a very conspicuous vehicle, and "tricking out" a vehicle usually indicates participation in a specific type of vehicle culture - the writer needs only to watch at least one of the Fast & Furious movies to understand that.

Who the hell uses "tricked out" to describe a modified vehicle, btw? 

Whoops, appointment is now here, gotta go.

By the way, I currently drive a truck, an inferno orange truck, but over the years I've driven everything from a VW hatchback to a Ford Tempo to a Range Rover.

I drive a truck because I work in a field that requires being able to haul things, large and small.