The Secret Strange Yet Ordinary Differences Of The Easy Eight

"Man, I wish I was taller"
Stated Handsome Stan as they walked down the street
"Man, I wish I was better looking"
Retorted Stretch McCoy as he stared at his awkward feet
"I hear you on that" 
Chimed in musclebound No-neck Manny
"Man, I wish I was much more athletic"
Declared blue-eyed dark-haired Dreamboat Danny
"I'll have to admit, I miss my hair"
Surmised the bald headed Bad Ass Ragu
"Well, I wouldn't mind being a lot more confident"
Countered footloose and fancy-free Lucky Lou
"Same goes for me, only double"
Proclaimed trustfund baby Happy Hank
"Hell, I wouldn't mind being a little more carefree"
Said fashionably uptight Fantastic Frank

And so it went as the guys known as the Easy Eight
Made their way from 32nd to 28th
With every eye on the neighborhood filled with envy
Because not one ear could hear their collective doubts