He had carefully planned every movement he would make
For the morning of Saturday the 26th
He was sure of his motive and knew, for goodness sake
How he would do it and what with
Before she arose he would sneak down the stairs
And go straight away to the coffee cupboard
Being carefully quiet to ensure she remained unawares
That he was fixing her end as she snored
A little of this and just a dash of that
Mixed in with her favorite morning tea
Not enough to kill a bear but more than needed for a rat
Should be sufficient to end his misery
His only regret he repeated to himself again and again
Was that he would not be able to witness the act
For his plan called for him to be on a plane
When his dear old darling drank the extract
So when he heard her say "Good morning dear"
It really gave him quite the start
He looked up from his vials to the top of the stair
And suddenly felt his well-laid plans falling apart
What was she doing up so early on a Saturday?
This just wasn't possible, she always slept in
He couldn't believe it, no how, no way
How had the rug been pulled out from under him?
He managed to squeak out an "Oh, good morning"
Through nervous, trembling teeth
And when down the staircase she began descending
He didn't think he would be able to breathe
His vials were spread all over the table
Her tea jar and sweetener too
He tried to grab them all up but wasn't able
She was sure to see what he was planning to do
In a panic he desperately knocked over the tea pot
The hot water washed everything away
"Oh my", he exclaimed trying to sound distraught
"It looks like I've ruined my surprise for you today."
"Not to worry dear," she said, "It's the thought that counts"
"I'll put more water on the boil"
And as she filled up the pot she added a special ounce
Of the professor's own flavoring oil
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