Paenitemus Non Satis

   I apologize my friend for not finding the time to meet up for lunch, or dinner, or maybe a movie.

   It had been awhile since we had actually spoken to one another - 5 years? Maybe 7 or 8?

   Ah, good memories from back then, we shared some good times - remember those hikes we used to go on? The days we would loop twenty-five miles or more between dawn and sunset - damn, my knees ache just recalling that time we climbed Castle Peak, the one near Crested Butte - we should have taken the northwest route. 

   I remember we even talked about going on a road trip to Yosemite to check out the giant Sequoias and then maybe Big Sur - in the off-season of course.

   But hell, hectic schedules, nether of us ever seeming to be able to get time off from work at the same time, and then both of us being in and out of relationships that complicated matters even more (remember Melina, the woman from San Antonio I met at the Amoeba Lounge? Man, I apologize double for the way I let her keep me away from you - if it's any consolation she left me for some guy named Elliot who knocked her around, gave her herpes, got her fired from that job at the center, then dumped her for some 19-year old stripper - not that anyone deserves to be treated that harshly, but, yeah, you know).

   It was a surprise to learn that you and Holly Thomas had moved in with each other. Hell, I didn't know you two were even dating. Did she ever mention that she and I were in the same Social Studies class in 8th grade?

   Geez, the chill of Autumn is creeping in and I must get going - have to be at Jimmy's in an hour, don't want to arrive late and have everyone stare at me like a freak sideshow attraction.

   You don't have ears for apologies, I know...man, I know.

   But I cannot apologize enough. Over the past few months I probably thought about getting ahold of you at least two or three times a week. So many times I got the idea I should just drop by your place, just drop by and hang out like we used to.

   Cannot apologize enough to you, or myself.

   I had no idea the next time I'd see you would be in the obituaries.