Gotta admit, it's glorious.
Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas San Diego, Ca. March 2012
Eddie Arana, Rick Thibodeau, & Chris Bakunas at Luche Libre Taco Shop in San Diego, March 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Bernie Makes A Car Buying Decision
The salesperson had made quite the presentation, pointing out the various features and the benefits derived from them, as well as producing paperwork that certified the low cost of maintenance and the fuel economy.
Bernie was smitten with everything about the small car, from the twin chrome tailpipes to the four-speed manual transmission. His eyes danced around as he took in the graceful curve of the streamlined body as it sloped towards the rear bumper - a tubular bumper that sported more chrome, of course.
"Yes," thought Bernie, "this is the perfect automobile for me. Not only does it meet my expectations for comfort - man the headroom is unbelievable - it's been proven to be safe and reliable. I'm buying it!"
The salesperson returned with a large folder of the necessary purchase documents. In less than thirty minutes Bernie was going to be a proud owner of a brand new car. His smile was literally identical to the smile he had on his face when he first met his wife Cynthia.
The smile was not just reflective of his level of happiness, it also indicated an extreme level of personal satisfaction, for he knew that his purchase of this car would have the same effect on his parents, especially his father, as his decision to marry the beautiful blonde, blue-eyed, pale-skinned Cynthia had.
Bernie smiled even wider as he drove off the car lot in his shiny new deep green car with a full tank of gas. He ran his right hand over the curve of the dash while gripping the two-spoke steering wheel with his left.
"This is just going to give the old man a heart attack," Bernie mused. "I'll never have to put up with his overlording BS again."
Thus Bernard Donald Koepelman became the first American Jew to purchase a Volkswagon Beetle, the car Adolph Hitler had directed Ferdinand Porsche to build so that the average German would be able to take full advantage of the new countrywide road network he was building.
A new road network that was built to accommodate even the heaviest of military vehicles, tanks included.
Bernie was smitten with everything about the small car, from the twin chrome tailpipes to the four-speed manual transmission. His eyes danced around as he took in the graceful curve of the streamlined body as it sloped towards the rear bumper - a tubular bumper that sported more chrome, of course.
"Yes," thought Bernie, "this is the perfect automobile for me. Not only does it meet my expectations for comfort - man the headroom is unbelievable - it's been proven to be safe and reliable. I'm buying it!"
The salesperson returned with a large folder of the necessary purchase documents. In less than thirty minutes Bernie was going to be a proud owner of a brand new car. His smile was literally identical to the smile he had on his face when he first met his wife Cynthia.
The smile was not just reflective of his level of happiness, it also indicated an extreme level of personal satisfaction, for he knew that his purchase of this car would have the same effect on his parents, especially his father, as his decision to marry the beautiful blonde, blue-eyed, pale-skinned Cynthia had.
Bernie smiled even wider as he drove off the car lot in his shiny new deep green car with a full tank of gas. He ran his right hand over the curve of the dash while gripping the two-spoke steering wheel with his left.
"This is just going to give the old man a heart attack," Bernie mused. "I'll never have to put up with his overlording BS again."
Thus Bernard Donald Koepelman became the first American Jew to purchase a Volkswagon Beetle, the car Adolph Hitler had directed Ferdinand Porsche to build so that the average German would be able to take full advantage of the new countrywide road network he was building.
A new road network that was built to accommodate even the heaviest of military vehicles, tanks included.
Monday, October 29, 2018
My Three Jack O' Lanterns
Only have three pumpkins carved into Jack O' Lanterns so far this year - kinda busy with other dealios.
Still might be able to get a few more in though...
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Friday, October 26, 2018
The Memory Of Sensation Machine
"You mean to tell me," the weary looking old woman said, "that you have a devised a means to reproduce the memory of a sensation. A specific sensation. Is that really what you are claiming in this paper Dr. Hutchins?"
"That is not only precisely what I am claiming Dr. Samuels, it is precisely what I am doing. With my Consciousness Restoration & Recollection Configurator, I can not only help anyone remember anything that happened to them at anytime in their lives, but I can also bring back the exact sensation they were feeling at that moment, whether it was physical, emotional, or otherwise!"
As he spoke Dr. Robert Hutchins gestured grandly with his long thin arms, which made him appear to be mimicking one of those rather large advertising balloons designed to draw people to used car lots.
"This will be the greatest invention of the ages my dear Dr. Samuels - imagine the demand for this device, and then multiply what you are thinking a thousand times! Every human being on the planet will want to own one of these! Why, I would wager that the use of this machine will be able to bring about world peace! People will no longer have to turn to alcohol or drugs to escape! Mood disorders will disappear! The desire for power or control can be completely eliminated! I stand before you today unapologetically proclaiming that you may actually be in the presence of the man who saves the planet!"
"Dr Hutchins, get a hold of yourself. You have only an untested hypothesis and a rather wild description of a device that Rube Goldberg himself would call preposterous."
Dr Eva Samuels leveled a quiet gaze at Dr.Hutchins, and continued. "From what I can gather the materials required to build this machine of yours would cost a small fortune, which I do not believe you have at your disposal."
"You are wrong and you are also right, Dr. Samuels. You are wrong about the hypothesis being untested, and about the device being preposterously difficult to build, though you are right about it being expensive - cost nearly three million dollars, which was tricky to raise, I'll admit."
"What?!" Dr Samuels looked both incredulous and dumbfounded. "Robert, are you claiming to have actually built this machine and tested it?"
"Yes indeed, and that is why I invited you here tonight Eva. Excuse me for just one moment."
With that Dr. Hutchins walked to the back of his laboratory, gathered up a box slightly bigger than a breadbasket, and walked back to the table at which he and Dr. Samuels had been sitting.
With an unnecessarily dramatic flourish Dr. Hutchins lifted the top off the box, reached inside with both hands, and lifted out what appeared to be a large, brightly polished helmet not too unlike the type used by ceremonial military guard units.
Except the helmet was humming, and appeared to be slightly vibrating. And there were at least ten thousand hair-thin wires sticking out of the surface of the helmet and arching back into it.
"Try it Dr. Samuels, try it. All you have to do is put it on and wait a few moments for the machine to sense the activity that is happening at a cellular level in your brain, and to create a cybernetic link. Once the machine is in communication with the psychic apparatus of your mind then it will seek out the sensory neurons. The rest will be up to you - by which I mean you will have to think of a memory that you want to feel again."
Dr. Evangeline Samuels stood quietly staring at the helmet-like device in Dr. Hutchins outstretched hands for several minutes. Finally she reached out and took the machine in her hands and lifted it directly above her head. "Okay Dr. Hutchins, I will give it a try. Is there anything I should be aware of in terms of side effects?"
"Well, you may want to sit down first," He said as he motioned to an overstuffed easy chair, "and you probably should not venture too far back with your initial memories. Childhood memories always lead to a lot of crying once the device is removed."
"That is not only precisely what I am claiming Dr. Samuels, it is precisely what I am doing. With my Consciousness Restoration & Recollection Configurator, I can not only help anyone remember anything that happened to them at anytime in their lives, but I can also bring back the exact sensation they were feeling at that moment, whether it was physical, emotional, or otherwise!"
As he spoke Dr. Robert Hutchins gestured grandly with his long thin arms, which made him appear to be mimicking one of those rather large advertising balloons designed to draw people to used car lots.
"This will be the greatest invention of the ages my dear Dr. Samuels - imagine the demand for this device, and then multiply what you are thinking a thousand times! Every human being on the planet will want to own one of these! Why, I would wager that the use of this machine will be able to bring about world peace! People will no longer have to turn to alcohol or drugs to escape! Mood disorders will disappear! The desire for power or control can be completely eliminated! I stand before you today unapologetically proclaiming that you may actually be in the presence of the man who saves the planet!"
"Dr Hutchins, get a hold of yourself. You have only an untested hypothesis and a rather wild description of a device that Rube Goldberg himself would call preposterous."
Dr Eva Samuels leveled a quiet gaze at Dr.Hutchins, and continued. "From what I can gather the materials required to build this machine of yours would cost a small fortune, which I do not believe you have at your disposal."
"You are wrong and you are also right, Dr. Samuels. You are wrong about the hypothesis being untested, and about the device being preposterously difficult to build, though you are right about it being expensive - cost nearly three million dollars, which was tricky to raise, I'll admit."
"What?!" Dr Samuels looked both incredulous and dumbfounded. "Robert, are you claiming to have actually built this machine and tested it?"
"Yes indeed, and that is why I invited you here tonight Eva. Excuse me for just one moment."
With that Dr. Hutchins walked to the back of his laboratory, gathered up a box slightly bigger than a breadbasket, and walked back to the table at which he and Dr. Samuels had been sitting.
With an unnecessarily dramatic flourish Dr. Hutchins lifted the top off the box, reached inside with both hands, and lifted out what appeared to be a large, brightly polished helmet not too unlike the type used by ceremonial military guard units.
Except the helmet was humming, and appeared to be slightly vibrating. And there were at least ten thousand hair-thin wires sticking out of the surface of the helmet and arching back into it.
"Try it Dr. Samuels, try it. All you have to do is put it on and wait a few moments for the machine to sense the activity that is happening at a cellular level in your brain, and to create a cybernetic link. Once the machine is in communication with the psychic apparatus of your mind then it will seek out the sensory neurons. The rest will be up to you - by which I mean you will have to think of a memory that you want to feel again."
Dr. Evangeline Samuels stood quietly staring at the helmet-like device in Dr. Hutchins outstretched hands for several minutes. Finally she reached out and took the machine in her hands and lifted it directly above her head. "Okay Dr. Hutchins, I will give it a try. Is there anything I should be aware of in terms of side effects?"
"Well, you may want to sit down first," He said as he motioned to an overstuffed easy chair, "and you probably should not venture too far back with your initial memories. Childhood memories always lead to a lot of crying once the device is removed."
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
The Wannabee Comedian
Everyone has the potential to be funny, intentionally or not. Just slip on a banana peel in front of a group of people and someone's bound to laugh.
Of course, it'd be nice if someone also rushed over to where you lay splayed out on the ground and checked to ensure you were okay, too.
Of course, it'd be nice if someone also rushed over to where you lay splayed out on the ground and checked to ensure you were okay, too.
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