The Not-Lunch Non-Date Meet-Up

She looked right past the magazine I was reading

And into my face

'said, "Whatcha reading?" like interrupting 

    Was a desirable social grace

I replied sarcastically but not smarmily 

"An article on the lack of propriety in the modern world."

She laughed at that and retorted 

"You're a funny lot, eh Mr. Penforasword?"

Setting aside the magazine I gave her a quick once over

 And smiling, replied with little hesitation

"Doing the best I can to further international relations."

She laughed again and sipped her drink

While her fingers twirled

   The silky brown hair that perfectly framed her features

       Like a dirty cop ignoring legal procedures

"Didjer once around with your eyes suit your fancy?"

        She said with syrup dripping from her lips

I raised my brows in affirmation and nodded to be certain

    "You know how to drape your frame." I said

    With a second appreciative glance 

 "A lost art these days, which makes life difficult for us art connoisseurs"

                       

"You're quick with the flattery kind sir

Not that there's anything I didn't mind hearing

Does make me think you are in the habit, though

Of casting about compliments as if baiting a hook

     At least you're not shmaltzy about it, which is somehow endearing."

"Name's Sidney," she then announced, "though I'm known as Dis.

        Which makes sense once you get to know me."

         "I'm Kirby," I replied,  "A name my mother anointed me with  

         As she was a big fan of the serial Sky King from the 1950s."

"Introductions out of the way, I suppose now we start the interrogations."

She stated that much like DC Reid would, in the later episodes

  But before she married DCI Holmes

"Shall we draw straws or paper, rock, scissors for first question privilege?"

I quipped, trying my best to banter as a Southern Scot might

  Carefully, like before the first seven or eight pints

                 

She looked at me directly, switching gears to serious mode

       And said, "I'll go first. 

       Are you married? Involved? Inquiring minds want to know.

Because I may be forward, I may be a flirt of sorts

 But I'm no homewrecker, and I hope you're not a jerk."

My quick laugh was sincere, and I hoped she understood it to be.

      "No,"  I said as firmly as I could, "I am not married or involved.

I am decidedly single, free of any cumbrance, save for a cat

        That's honest full disclosure, I'm not even a beard, got tired of playing that."

"Not even a beard? That's an interesting statement - never met a cis-het man who rolled

        For leading ladies that aren't interested in drinking at the tap

         Then again, cis-het women do, so I guess the opposite must be true

       In the spirit of your pronouncement of full disclosure then

             I don't judge any of my sisters for the choices or inclinations they profess           

But as for me, I don't shop or slop at the Gap"

    We looked at one another as if staring at rare animals in the wild

      For a second I could swear we both breathed sighs of relief

     The modern world has made it easier to meet people

    Websites abound so every variety of human walking the globe has access

    Takes all the work out of searching for that elusive clover with four leafs

   So we sat chatting and laughing and thinking

   The minutes turned to hours and our glasses became coffee cups

When the waiter came over with the bill I noted she was particular but not finicky

  And wondered which one of us would be the first to screw this up