The Single Best Bad Example Ever

Everybody needs a bad example, for comparison and contrast. 

We are all familiar with how that works; " Man, I'm a moron, but I'm not that bad," or "At least I don't look like that dude," or possibly even, "If I was that guy I'd off myself."

Somewhere on this planet there is the single best bad example of a procrastinating writer/aspiring artist/DIY repairman/racquetball player.

I need to stand next to that guy for awhile. 

There is the fear, however, that that guy is looking to stand next to me...