The Man With The Lop-Sided Head

   There once was a man with a lop-sided head. It wasn't a dramatically lop-sided head - in fact, it was extremely difficult for most people to notice the lop-sidedness of his head - if the features of his head that he thought were lop-sided were not clearly pointed out, most people just looked at him - his head, his face, and just saw an ordinary head (& face).

   But an ordinary head (& face) was not what the man with the lop-sided head saw when he stared into a mirror.

   What he saw every time he looked in a mirror was every single feature of his head (& face) drifting ever-so-slightly down to his left.

   And it made him both sad and angry.

  Every morning after he shaved, the man with the lop-sided head (an appellation he gave himself, for, as mentioned earlier, no one else, not even his mother or father, had ever taken note of the features he considered lop-sided) would push the left side of his face up in an effort to correct the lop-sidedness he gazed upon.

   Of course, the lop-sided features he saw would return immediately after he took his hand away, which frustrated him each and every time. 

   His self-loathing grew to the point where he became a hermit, hiding himself away from what he assumed would be the judgmental eyes of the world. To keep himself fit, however, the man with the lop-sided head took walks around a large park in the evening, when there was less chance of anyone having to look upon his lop-sided head.

   On one such walk, when the moon was full and the usual cloud cover in the area was absent, he chanced upon a man walking towards him. The man was wearing a hat pulled low to shield his face, but even with the hat obscuring the approaching man's features, the man with the lop-sided head could see that the features of the man's face were perfectly symmetrical. 

   It was, remarked the man with the lop-sided head to himself, an incredible face, absolutely flawless. 

   As luck would have it, the man with the absolutely flawless face noticed the extremely faint lop-sidedness of the man with the lop-sided head's face, and it nearly stopped him in his tracks.

   As it was, he slowed his stride considerably, as did the man with the lop-sided head. They approached one another as if in slow motion, neither one of them able to take their respective eyes off the extraordinary unique features of the other.

  Just as they were about to pass each other, they both suddenly stopped. The bright moonlight cast a pale yellow hue on their countenances, and they stared at each others faces as if reading a faint treasure map.

   After a few minutes they simultaneously cleared their throats and almost in harmony they both said, "Wow, you have a most incredible face!"

   Then silence. Each seemed to suddenly become embarrassed.

    Finally, the man with the absolutely flawless face spoke. "All my life I have despised the fact that my face was without flaws, and thus without character, and tonight I have had the good fortune to have chanced meeting you, a man with such slight lop-sided features your face has been graced with character beyond the pale!"

   The man with with the lop-sided head became momentarily slack-jawed before recovering his composure and replying. "Most extraordinary! I too have spent my life despising my face, specifically because it is not what yours is, flawless and perfectly symmetrical!"

   They both then burst out laughing. Hysterically, like madmen in the throes of serious delirium, they laughed. 

   They laughed loudly, clutching each other for support as the convulsive laughing racked their bodies. They laughter disturbed the entire neighborhood, which prompted some of their neighbors to contact the authorities, who soon arrived with a cadre of large men in stark white uniforms.

   The cadre of men in stark white uniforms grabbed each of the now hysterically laughing men, put each of them of them in jackets that featured extra long sleeves that wrapped their arms around them front to back, and took them away to what is known as a "happy home."

   Which is where the man with the lop-sided head and the man with the perfectly symmetrical face reside to this day, laughing their heads off each and every time they see one another on their daily walks in the yard.