Not being able to get to the gym first thing in the morning is a major pain, at least it is in my misbegotten corner of the world.
See, the earlier one gets to the gym, the more readily available (and clean) the equipment is. The later one gets to the gym...well, you have to wait to use just about anything, and you should have a few antiseptic wipes at the ready.
Today I got to the gym much later than I prefer, but as it was an aerobic exercise day I wasn't too concerned about being able to secure the use of one of the 100 or so strider/glider/skier/elliptical treadmill dealios - there always seem to be a few of those available.
Such was not the case today. When I walked over to the aerobic machine area I discovered that all the aerobics machines were being used.
So I did the only thing a reasonable person could do in such a situation - I stood off to the side of the rows of aerobic machines to wait for one to become available and started watching one of the big screens that hang in front of each row of the elliptical-treadmill strider/glider/skier dealios .
Which didn't take long. I barely had time to watch Bob Ross start adding a few clouds to a bright blue sky when one of the machines became free. After I wiped down the handles of the cross-country skiing simulator I jumped on, punched in my desired program and time (weight loss, 30 min.) and got to it.
About working up to a comfortable pace I once again turned my attention to the bank of big screen televisions hanging right in front of me. There were news programs on the TV's to my immediate left and right, but on the television directly in front of me there was a movie playing...a Christmas movie...a Lifetime Channel Christmas movie.
And, as the gym has been kind enough to ensure that every television is set up with closed captioning, I was able to quickly determine that this particular Lifetime Christmas movie was going to be particularly sappy.
As short a summary as I can provide: Mrs. Claus is suffering from hurt feelings because Mr. Claus no longer pays attention to her like he used to, so she decides to go to Las Vegas to seek a bit of attention. Mr. Claus finds out about her plans and gives chase, with a mischievous elf tagging along to provide assistance.
Now, I'm about 5 minutes into my workout before Mrs. Claus actually pops up on the screen and to my complete amazement she was being played by Mira Sorvino.
Yeah, that Mira Sorvino, Mighty Aphrodite and Marilyn Monroe Mira Sorvino. Graduated from Harvard with honors Mira Sorvino.
Still looking drop dead gorgeous Mira Sorvino.
Being as how I was going to be on the machine another 25 minutes, I started to pay more attention to the movie (and not just because Mira Sorvino was in it).
It pretty much played out as a predictable, syrupy, cornbally, fish-out-of-watery rom-com. As much as a Christmas rom-com featuring Santa and an elf chasing around Las Vegas in search of Mrs. Claus could possibly be - but it was also something I didn't quite expect.
An entertaining distraction.
I spent twenty more minutes on the cross-country skiing simulator than I had planned to, and only got off the thing when I noticed there were other people waiting to use the machine and I had been on it far past the prescribed 30 minutes during peak hours limit.
After I freed up the cross-country skiing simulator I made my way out of the gym and back home ASAP, in the hopes that I would be able to catch the end of the movie.
No such luck. The movie had ended before I could get home.
Now I have to hope it'll be replayed again soon. I'll set the DVR if necessary, but I gotta see how it ends.
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