It Takes Two..To Make Things Go Right (Or Wrong)

   Some people hate anything that brings change.

   Some people hate anything that interferes with change.

   Generally speaking (extremely generally, as in I'm making a brash assumption here) the people that hate anything that may bring change can be considered either very content with the way things are, or at the very least trepidatious about what any changes to the status quo may bring, and the people that hate anything that interferes with change can be considered very malcontented with the way things are, or at the very least circumspect about the prospect that things will ever change.

   Exploiting these tendencies is how politicians and marketers make their money.

A Few More Glances At Grand Rapids

                                                              

Are We Really Having This Conversation Or Is This...What? What Is This?

    Ever enter into conversation with a person who considers everything from a metaphysical angle? I have, and let me tell you, it can be exhausting.

   For starters, this metaphysician (metaphysicist?) I have had conversations with spends an inordinate amount of time elaborating on how we as humans construct our own realities so as to bring order (as we as individuals understand or interpret order) to our lives and are therefore guilty of subjugating the real reality for our own nefarious ends. 

   Which always leads to me asking him questions (somewhat facetiously I will admit) about how am I supposed to believe we are actually sitting in the same room sitting across from each other at the same table speaking a common language if it's possible that one or the other of us may not be as invested in experiencing this particular reality to make the experience beneficial.

   Which in turn always leads to him asking me if I think it's possible that the only reason I'm asking such a question is because he instigated sufficient doubt in me (causality) about whether or not my perception of reality is correct to cause me to get defensive (reaction) and manifest that defensiveness in a manner that would seem innocuous and possibly even cooperatively inquisitorial.

   Then it's off to the races - the possibility that everything is predetermined, or if not predetermined then possibly influenced by seemingly harmless actions that, falling like dominos, result in what may or may not have been predetermined to occur, occurring anyway, regardless of conscious efforts to dodge or defeat the end result of a course of action.

   That one paragraph right there could trigger a conversational exchange/debate that could last for hours, and that's just on the topic of predetermination.

   The philosophy of the metaphysical types encompasses everything from universal commonalities to seemingly random coincidences that lead via totally divergent paths to the same conclusions (or at least the same possible conclusions). Nature, reality, time, space (and spaces), changes and constants...it goes on and on.

   Which is why I find it so exhausting. There literally is no end to the dissection of everything (real and conceptual) that we as humans have come to believe is real, and thus part of a mutually shared reality.

   Exhausting? Maybe mind-numbing would be a more accurate term.

   Anywhatzit, my point here is, if you have a choice between engaging in a conversation with a metaphysical philosophy enthusiast, and say, watching an Adam Sandler career retrospective that included a critical analysis of the underlying moral epistemology of the film Pixels, chose the Adam Sandler retrospective.

 

Baby, It's Hot Outside*

I really can't play

Baby, it's hot outside

Like, a hundred and two in the shade

Baby, it's hot outside

This afternoon has been

A perfect match for a Dutch Oven

So freakin' hot

I'm feeling like a lobster boiling in a pot

My mother will begin to swelter

Honey, can't stand the summer weather?

My father will be kicking the A/C

Trying to coax it to the lowest degree

So, I really better be jettin'

Honey, no need to start sweatin'

Maybe we could both drink lemonade

I'll put a CD in while you get it made

The neighbors are beginning to stink

Baby, it's stifling out there

Say, can I get more ice in this drink?

No fans to be found around here

I wish it would snow

Your eyes are like melting, you know?

Or at least an hour of cool rain

Take off our clothes and dance in the floodplain

I wouldn't yell "no, no, no sir"

Mind if I take a cold shower?

I'll state out loud that I almost fried

It's not a matter of saving face or pride

I really can't play

Baby, Don't even doubt

Baby, it's hot outside

Ugh, it's very muggy, you know?

I like to think of it as semitropical

I wish it would snow

Baby, it's hot outside

The answer is, "Go"

But Baby, it's hot outside

The world is a furnace

If we're not careful it'll turn us

Into extra crispy human

Floating in a bowl of steaming ramen

My sister will be pernicious

Damn, that's downright capricious

My brother will be out on the porch

As on fire as the human torch

My hipster Aunt will be malicious

Damn, that's downright officious

Burnin' like a funny cigarette does

The kind that gives you an ugly buzz

I've got to get a swamp cooler

Baby, that would be the best thing ever

We could put a pool over there

Bring down the temp in here

Turn this place into a cool oasis

Then touching wouldn't faze us

I think I'm beginning to see

The value of a quality A/C

Maybe it won't be so hot tomorrow

We could be at the top of Kilimanjaro

And there will be plenty of iced tea

At least a gallon each for you and me

I really can't play

You have to cut that noise

Baby, it's hot

Baby, it's hot outside

Okay, we'll have another lemonade

That took little to no convincing

*Apologies to Frank Loesser

The Bonds That Were

Sitting right across from me, that's how it always seemed to be

Two peas in a pod until Donnie joined up and then it was three

Make plans for hours about how we would not be lame when we grew up 

Like all the adults we knew and loathed so much

We would not become pricks and we'd always stay in touch

Promises were made to be loyal and true, blood pacts sealed with minimal scars

We helped each other through tough times at school, helped fix each others cars

Friends not just to the end but until time itself stopped

And as those early years passed it seemed we were lucky to have one another

Blessed with bonds of friendship so strong we would call one another brother

We would talk for hours, about nothing at all

We would talk for hours, about nothing at all

We would talk on and on for hours

About absolutely nothing at all

Hello My Fuzzy Little Eight Legged Friend

 

Giving Grand Rapids, Michigan Business Signs The Business

                

Stan's Tacos, right down the street

from Juan's Pizza Parlor

Forty Pearl...In trust we wine

With wine, we must

 

 

                                     Hard to go wrong when you shop A Dong

Which is not too far from the Big O

If that floats your boat, there's the Brikcrete

Motel...with free cable TV

             Take a few pics as souvenirs? Marks will have them for you in an hour

 Maybe go down to Barrio (which is as far from a barrio as one can get) and have tacos, tequila & whiskey

The Hawaii Market might have Poke, Poi, or Mochi...or at least a pineapple or two

            

No Mochi at the Hawaii Market? Get a twisty freeze cone here

    

Nothing you like at the Dairy Den? Tsitsiki La Michoacana might have a tasty frozen Greek/Mexican treat on offer

For a more substantial meal, try the Fat Man's Fish Fry

In a hurry? A wet or dry burrito from Coney Island is always a delicious quick snack

                                  Though more pizza is always an option...over there

 

Get any on ya? The Bubble Magic Laundromat is right around the corner 
 

                   Tired of walking? Drew's may have the solid used car of your dreams

Oil Changers is nearby, in case you don't trust the age of the oil in the car when you buy it

You can probably get all the buyers documents from B Quick Instant Printing while you wait 

Drop in at Second Vibes just to, you know, chill

Take a little stress off your shoulders with a little Tai Chi...or Wing Chun

                                   Scuba lessons are also available, just take a right here

Prefer companions who engage in one-sided conversations? Casa La Parrot my be just your style

Jose's is open late, in case you're still hungry

                                               Though there are always burger options

                                                              Burgers and pie, oh my

                                                    Burgers for breakfast? Nice try

Promote Intelligence Function Brain Stimulation Development

    There are days when checking my email is a wonderful adventure. 

   Why? Because of the spam, the junk mail.

    The clearing of the spam usually takes a few minutes, primarily because I am in the habit of reading the titles. Most titles are usually droll, proclaiming flash sales or limited time offers or beseeching me to take action or else I'll miss out.

   FOMO not being one of my afflictions, I usually just hit delete, delete, delete to clear out all the detris so I can get to reading what is real, or at least from a recognizable, trusted source.

   However, I also do not immediately delete some of the more humorous titles that are obvious poor attempts from people (or maybe AI?) that are not native English speakers to try to sell something.

   There are a few in my email everyday, and they are absolute gems to read. The title of this post was one of them - it was from a company promoting a multi-vitamin that would help boost my memory. At least that's what I think the multi-vitamin was for - there were a few words missing in the the way of articles and verbs in the descriptive text, but the label on the container in the picture did have "Memories Boosting" on the label.

   There are days when it's hard to believe that the spelling and grammar mistakes, as well as the poor sentence structure, is not deliberate, as they do a far better job of grabbing my attention than a title such as "Memory Boosting Multi-Vitamin Flash Sale" would. 

   If they are indeed deliberate, then I salute the anonymous clever copywriters who come up with them, as it's gotta take a little work to put together "Merry Cookies Used For Tired Gym Fat Burn People Fruity Package" and have it put into production.

   

A Very Small Slice Of The Grand Rapids Public Museum