That Crazy Film Noir Dream

An ordinary man wrongly accused, of course, and on the run. Criminals harder than granite on one side, Police harder than marble on another, and an alcoholic private eye of debatable integrity on a third side.

Cue up a jazzy, seductive little number as a wild-eyed brunette or a brassy blonde, both of which would be curvier (and more dangerous) than the road through the Stelvio Pass, enters the scene.

There may or may not be an inheritance involved and if so, there may or may not be a sudden appearance of long-lost relatives of the dear departed.

As usual, there will be a recently married young woman who becomes suspicious of her new husband and insanely jealous of his new secretary.

Toss in a couple of blackmailers, a few corrupt city officials, maybe three ex-cons, an amnesiac with a faint recollection of a house full of bodies, countless dirty politicians, an Army veteran caught up in a plot hatched by men from his former unit, a forger, a grifter looking for one last big payday, a seemingly naive young woman being led astray, a couple of saboteurs conspiring to steal a secret weapon, an insurance company investigator seeking a seductive widow's stolen diamond necklace, a pretty femme fatale's even prettier younger sister, the stock mentally unbalanced young man with the nervous disposition, and without need for introduction, the worldly taxi driver & the equally worldly prostitute, both with hearts of gold.

All drawn together by a tersely worded classified ad in the local paper asking for help locating a lost puppy.