On The Beach At Bournemouth In The Morning

Rode the funicular railway down to the beach in Bournemouth
Wolfing down a bag of crisps and sipping a Gin and Vermouth
Walk along the shore with a brelly, don't want to look too uncouth
CCTV cameras watch me from towers, light poles and every roof
Feel like eating pretzels but this place doesn't seem to have them
Or maybe it's too early (it's just a little before 8am)
                      A man stops to ask
                      If I'd like to buy a watch
                      I tell him time is fleeting
                      Now go away or I'll call a cop 
Someone spray-painted "taki" high upon a concrete wall
Is this a tribute to a graffiti artist or just Japanese for waterfall?
Storm clouds are gathering with all the makings of a squall
An old fisherman doesn't seem to notice as he carves scrimshaw
I'm still craving pretzels but no one recognizes my plight
Could the wind get any colder or the sun get any less bright?
             Is that a woman up ahead 
             Walking a pig on a leash?
             The better question is, I suppose
                       Since when are pigs allowed on this beach?
Over by the pier there seems to be some sort of a commotion
Strain my neck for a look but it's just a diet cola promotion
Thin and beautiful actors playing in the cold ocean for the cameras
The wind and whipping surf making it hard for them to look glamorous
The Director shouted action! but the camerman was a bit distracted 
An actress had lost her top and the actors all over-reacted
                         What can be expected when out 
                         For a morning stroll along the coast?
                         An acute lack of pretzels and 
                         A fake Rolex watch, at the most