He's prone to handing poor downtrodden sods a dollar
Because he's a deep believer in faith, hope, and charity
Those are the rudimentary requirements, he swore
To living a righteous, deliberate and unrehearsed life
He's been walking the straight and particularly narrow
Ever since he heard the great and glorious word
That saved him from the evils of pilates and acting
Elevating his consciousness from banality and strife
He whistles while he works and listens to Marlowe
All the while calculating how long it would take him
To memorize all the lyrics on Angelic 2 The Core by Feldman
While cutting through a frozen banana with a rusty butter knife
Ooh Mao Mao
Zedong Mao Mao
Falling asleep on the dance floor
Bicycling to Pao Pao
She's got him on at least three charges of using trigonometry
To seduce a thrice-divorced matron he met at the automat
A woman of high-standing though low morals
Who claimed to be great in geocaching but really lousy as a wife
She's been known to use caressing a well-used cheeseboard
As a means to gathering insights while meditating
Being as how it had been cleaned with potato whiskey
By an under-assistant barber found running down a Saharan saif
She cannot afford to be out in public without her trusty blue apple
It helps to soothe her mind when she's feeling a little saudade
Like a butterfly she deftly plays the hydrocrystalophone
Much to the delight of both the woefully wealthy and offensively rife
Ooh Mao Mao
Zedong Mao Mao
Falling asleep on the dance floor
Bicycling to Pao Pao
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