2019 Denver Auto Show

Oil Painting By William Burks III

Paint The Room Black Or Just Turn Off The Lights

If they were giving out awards 
For magnificent lapses in judgement
Then you might want to begin preparing a speech
And perhaps get fitted for a tuxedo

The Cat That Could Perform Tricks

The cat is unusual in that it responds to commands for which it has not received any training or conditioning to recognize.

It is obviously a very intelligent cat, smart as a dog in many respects, and almost as affectionate. 

The cat has been a resident of the house since it was a kitten, just a few months after it was born on a farm in the southern reaches of the state.

From the start the cat exhibited behaviors that were quite uncatlike. It has never been at all finicky about who it shows affection to, and never seems to stop eating. 

At the end of it's first year of residence the cat displayed remarkable climbing skills, and was and still is frequently seen relaxing on the roof of the house. 

The first time the cat was seen on the roof elicited a mild panic from the person most often referred to as the cat's owner, until the cat, when directed by the owner to "get off the roof," did just that - the cat got up, walked over to the edge of the roof, and then jumped to the ground in front of the somewhat amazed man.

Soon it was evident that the cat would do several things when asked. It not only jumps off the roof on command, it also comes when called, stays, plays fetch (especially with a ball of cellophane tape), but also gets up on anything when it is told to jump up - all this without ever once having to be bribed with a morsel of food.

The cat was initially thought to be a Maine Coon by most people, as it was much larger than the other cats in the neighborhood, and much friendlier. However, a neighbor who has spent some time living in Sweden has declared that the cat must be a Norwegian Forest cat, a breed with a remarkable resemblance to the Maine Coon but a bit taller - and the cat is indeed unusually tall. 

Maine Coon or Norwegian Forest, the breed of cat isn't of much importance to the people who share space with the cat, nor, it is assumed, to the cat itself.

The people and the cat enjoy each other's company, and that's all that matters.

Another Pleasant Sunday Night

Nate sat down hard on the softest sofa he had ever felt. His head jerked back violently when he bottomed out on the marshmallow of a cushion, and his arms flapped as if he was hoping to get airborne.

"Now what," he slurred to himself as he tried desperately to regain a semblance of composure, "was I sitting down for?"

His eyes wandered jerkily about the room as he pondered this question.

"I'm either here to sit and think, or I'm here to sit and drink. I don't see any bottles, so maybe it's thinking time."

He muttered those words as he slowly slid down and out of the overstuffed sofa. He passed out before he was completely prone on the floor. Thinking time would, once again, come in second to drinking time.

A Complex Interlacing Of A Situation

Positively Motivational Inspirational Blues

Apply yourself, put your shoulder into it, give it a little elbow grease, mind over matter ol' chap, nothing else to it.

Nose to the grindstone, push yourself, live up to your potential and then go beyond that. 

Persist. Persist, persist, persist. Work harder than anyone else and you'll achieve more than anyone else.

Take the risk. Again and again take the risk. You'll fail, sure you will, but you'll get back at it one more risk smarter, one more risk abler.

Consistent application of will, that's what makes it happen. Having talent or skill or natural inclination means nothing without the consistent application of will - to do.

Luck is what you make out of the hand you've been dealt. 

There's a reason the same people seem to always be sitting at the champions table - they're the ones who invested the time, resources, and energy into learning how to make the best out of the worst possible situations. 

Fortune does not favor the bold, fortune favors the prepared.

Go to bed, get some sleep. Then get up and do it all over again.

The First Day Of Spring. 2019

Today is the first day of Spring 

In the year two thousand nineteen

A year I truly never thought I'd live to see 
Truth be told, I'm not entirely convinced
That this is not actually a dream
A projection of some sort
That my mind has created 
To sooth my soul as I lie on my death bed
Brought to my end by the rifle
That was shoved in my face when I was fifteen
Or by the cold ocean waters
Of the Gulf of Alaska when I fell overboard
Maybe it was the first drunk driver that hit me
Or maybe it was the second
I suppose either one could have done it
Many, many times it seems
I have eluded the grasp of Abaddon

...or have I?

MCV & His Quirky Sense Of Humor

He was the type who had no problem humiliating himself if it would mean he would be able to get a depressed kid to smile. 

He was also great at impersonating celebrities, but would give them odd accents - for example, he once did a 15 minute turn as Elizabeth Taylor portraying Cleopatra but speaking with a lyrical Irish accent, which nearly busted my gut.

The guy literally would do anything for a laugh, but not in a boorish, oafish way - he wasn't arrogantly funny, and never sought humor at the expense of others. Oh sure, he'd poke fun at people, but only his closest friends who were always in on the joke.

One of the more off-kilter things he would do was act like we were in the middle of a sensational conversation whenever strangers would sit down near enough to overhear us - just start saying things like, "anyway, I grabbed the knife out of the girls body - I mean, what else could I possibly be expected to do? Then suddenly, there was aggressive knocking on the door and loud voices started barking out that they were the police and that I must open up or they would break in! My blood literally froze!" What could I do! Now you understand my dilemma, and why you must help me, why you must hide me!"

His ability to improv' like that, with an absolutely straight face, was legendary.

For absolutely no reason at all the memory of MCV popped into my head this afternoon. It had been probably more than a decade since I had last thought about him, and three times that since I last actually spoke to him.

Wonder whatever happened to that crazy goof.

What the Junkie Left Behind

Candy and hypodermics, and a couple of half empty bottles of water on the small landing near the south side entrance this morning. 

There are a few modest sized shrubs in the area that, if one crouches down behind them, may offer a little privacy for the discreet junkie.

My best guess, for what it's worth.

Almost, Meaning Just That, Almost...

It took me a few minutes, but then I realized why this was named "Almost".

Lucy Lu 09/28/2012 - 03/14/2019, Goodnight Sweet Princess

Five days after bringing Lucy Lu home from the Veterinarian where she received treatment for her swollen leg and she was diagnosed with diabetes, she started to drink large amounts of water.

She had been on a regime of three different medications to help with her leg healing, so it was assumed they had sparked a need to be fully hydrated.

Over the next couple of days she started to vomit almost immediately after being given her medication, and stopped eating. Her weight dropped dramatically.

Not able to get her to a Vet on Wednesday due to the Bomb Cyclone Blizzard that hit Colorado leading to the closing of nearly every business in Denver, She was taken in Thursday morning, when she again refused to eat and exhibited very little energy 

As can be seen in the first photo, which is of the Veterinarian's diagnoses, Lucy Lu's health had rapidly deteriorated over the previous two days.

Lucy Lu was a great dog. She will be missed.

The Infrastructural Response To Natural Modifications

Playing Dress Up With Mad Skills Required

Wild recent dream: I was attending a Renaissance Faire that required full participation by all visitors.

Meaning, upon arrival visitors were asked a number of questions pertaining to skills & abilities - Can you ride a horse?, Do you know how to make candles?, How are you at jousting?, Any weaving skills?, Can you juggle?, Ever been a Blacksmith?, etc.

Once the position in the community you would be best suited for has been determined you are sent to a costume shop that outfits you in the proper period regalia of that occupation.

If you prove to have no skills or abilities you are assigned a menial job such as cleaning out stables or serving as a squire or maybe a maid. 

If you prove to be a quick learner you might get an apprenticeship in an artisans guild of some sort.

If you do not wish to follow along with the requirements for participation you are refunded the price of admission and denied entry.

Them Thar is Fightin' Words

"What did you call me, Mister?"

"You heard me. I called you yella'"

"Nobody calls me yella Mister, especially no beady-eyed, pigeon-toed, bowlegged, lunkheaded dude such as yerself."

"Is that so?" Well, not only are you yella, yer'n cabbage headed, fribblin', dodgasted four-flusher!"

"Why, you can just go to Jericho, you no-count, mule-brained, lily-livered sap-sucker!"

"Hah! You're just a two-bit, mollycoddled, saddle sore huckleberry, wearin' a twenty-dollar Stetson on a ten-cent head!

"Know what I think? I think you're all gurgle and no guts, that's what I think. Why, you'd run skeered of a crippled turtle chasin' ya through a mudbog!"

"You been out in the sun too long, goober. Your brain has been fried worse'n a puckered sheepskin pulled out of a barn fire."

"Now that's low, you wamble-cropped, bamboozlin', higgledy-piggledy nancy-boy!"

"Wait, wait, stop. Did you hear that?"

"Huh?" What? I didn't hear anything."

"I did - it's Mom. We'd better start putting all this away and at least act like we've been cleaning the room."

Conceding Ground To The More Bestial Of Appetites

The Svengali and the Femme Fatale

Sat together enjoying dinner

In a quaint little seafood joint 

On the seventh circle of Hell

Something Is Wrong With The Dog's Leg

The big dog's right rear leg had swollen up. 

Of course, when I became aware of the swelling, I did what every compassionate, animal-loving human would do.

I got on the Internet and tried to figure out what could have caused it.

After scaring myself with the myriad possibilities the Internet was happy to disgorge, I then took the big dog to the Vet.

Diagnosis? Somewhat of a surprise. The big dog is diabetic.

Yeah, diabetic. I wasn't even aware dogs could get diabetes and today I found out the big dog is stage 2.

The Vet cleaned out the swollen area of the leg (which, incidentally, had began to seep blood and other fluids before I had made it to the Vet's - I spared everyone a picture of that)

The bandage will have to be changed every 12 hours or so until the leg heals, and the dog will have to follow a medication regime for awhile - an anti-inflammatory and probiotics twice a day, and some other pill once a day.

And Insulin too.

If The Snow Has Let Up And The Temperature Is Rising, It Must Be Monday

Domesticated Idiocy

Somewhere on this planet at this very moment someone may be losing control.

Of a vehicle they're driving, or of their children, or of unrelated people in their charge...or of their own faculties.

It happens. 

Daily, more likely hourly, possibly by the minute.

To date, as a whole, the best thing the human race has been able to do in regards to dealing with the situation has been by stating to one another, in every language from Mandarin Chinese to Pidgin English...

"Get a grip."

So far, that hasn't been worth a damn.