A Little Bit Of Elbow Grease Would Be Needed First

The conversation was going quite well. The mood set by the ambiance of the restaurant helped, what with the dim but not so dim as to be annoying lights, the soft, easy listening music (though, again, not so easy listening as to be annoying), and in particular, the generous spacing between tables that allowed for conversations to be somewhat private.

"I've always read that people who own their own businesses are pretty much married to them - on the job, morning, noon, and night." As he said this to her she took a small sip on the fantastic wine the waiter had recommended and looked over the top of her glass straight at him. She liked his eyes.

"Is that true?" He added as she put her glass down.

"Well, yes, it was, early on, for the first year and half, maybe two years." She replied in a reflective tone. "But as the business grew and I was able to hire more people, specifically people I could trust, I was able to make my schedule as normal as most - I rarely work more than 45 to 50 hours a week now, and am able to take long weekends and even short vacations when I want."

He nodded his head as he listened, then said with an amused smile, "Well, that's great - it's refreshing to learn that not all self-employed people are work-aholics!"

She laughed a little along with him before speaking again. "I didn't get into business for myself because I liked to work - on the contrary, I got into business for myself because I absolutely did not like to work - at least not work as I was when I was working for other people."

"Oh?," he said, "Was it the job you didn't like or was it the people you had to work for that you didn't like?"

"Pretty much both," she said, rolling her eyes to emphasize the statement. "I was working at jobs that paid my bills for people that I got along with but definitely didn't want to work for. Then one day I was watching some afternoon talk show, and for the millionth or so time the guest was one of those motivational speakers who constantly proclaimed that a person should do what they love and success will surely follow. I'd heard that message countless times but had never given it much weight, but that day, that afternoon, for whatever reason, it hit me in the stomach like a wrecking ball. Right then and there I decided I was going to do what I loved to do for a living."

"And that was owning your own business?"

Her expression went from light-hearted to serious in a nano-second, and she continued. "I went into the cleaning business. I sat down at my computer and researched a few cleaning services to figure out what I should charge, and then I created a flyer that advertised my services. I posted those flyers on the bulletin board near the mailboxes in my apartment building's lobby, and by the end of the first week I had five cleaning jobs. Within a month I was having to turn away business, which was when I dragged my younger sister into the business with me, and then it really took off."

"Wow. Why did you chose a cleaning service as a business?'

"Because," she said, clearing her throat with an almost unheard cough, "I love to clean. I seriously love to clean, and I pretty much despise clutter. Cleaning and organizing and getting rid of junk for people makes me unbelievably happy. You know that aisle in supermarkets where all the cleaning supplies are stocked? The Pine-Sol and Simple Green and Ajax? Whenever I go shopping, whether I need any cleaning supplies or not, I walk down that aisle, slowly, breathing in deeply the various scents... the smells of...clean. It almost gets me high, I swear. There is just something so, so right about cleaning and decluttering and making everything shiny and bright."

He sat across from her trying to maintain his best poker face. A million thoughts raced through his mind. The most insistent thought other than just "Wow," was, "Well, it doesn't look like I'll be inviting her back to my place anytime soon..."

Very Short Summer Ditty, Roughly

The wind is whipping through the trees makin' em howl
Some kids busted out some early fireworks
And the neighborhood dogs are barking foul

It's a warm summer night
Music's playing in someone's backyard
It's a warm summer night 
Cars are racing down the boulevard

Monstrous Fiery Sky

Homeless Like A Mongrel Stray

"To be honest, with myself and with you, I know exactly how I came to be homeless."

The heavily lidded hazel eyes of the weary looking man stared right past me as he spoke, his hands gesturing as if he was trying to toss something very light into the air.

"The details, well, I can't remember all the details, but I do remember most of the bullet points."

He smiled just a little when he said that, as if he expected me to be surprised that he would use the words 'bullet points' in a sentence. I stared at him nonplussed and waited for him to continue his story.


"I think it was about a decade ago. I was living with two other guys in a place not too far from the bay. We had rented the house together and we split all the expenses three ways. That worked well until Kyle lost his job."

I nodded my head as I listened, looking over at him when it seemed he was needing more acknowledgement that I was listening to him than just a nod of my head.

"Yeah, that really screwed the pooch right there. See, me and Justin, we had both been just scrapping by and without Kyle's share of the bill money, there was no way we could keep the house. The first month we were short on the rent the landlord booted us out. Kyle went back to his parents house and Justin moved in with his girlfriend. I had nowhere to go so I slept in my car while looking for a roommate wanted situation."

He didn't say anything for about twenty seconds, which seemed like a really long time, so I looked up at him and said, "That was it? That's all it took for you to start living on the street?"

"Well...no, hold on a minute."

His face contorted a little as if he was physically trying to screw up some courage, and then he continued.

"Okay, so I'm not going to gloss over any of it. See, me & Justin & Kyle, we'd all shared a little bit of a habit, a drug habit...an addiction. When Kyle went back to his parents it was with the stipulation that he check into rehab, which was the same thing Justin's girlfriend required of him. Me, I didn't have those options, or rather, I didn't have anyone offering those options to me - my parents had given me my last chance when I was still in high school, and I'd burned about every bridge I had with my sister and brother, not to mention all my other relations. I was completely on my own, and I had no clue what to do."

He paused for another long minute and I looked at him carefully. It seemed to be registering on his face for the first time in what must have been years just what his role was in the mess his life had become.

"The thing is, or rather was, I was not really good at taking stock of things back then, ya' know? I didn't much think about the future because I thought everything sucked and I'd probably be dead before I was thirty." 

He tilted his head toward me and asked directly, "How old do you think I am now?"

I studied his face and his hands. "I'm guessing your mid-forties? Maybe 47 or 48?"

He snorted a laugh and looking at the ground but speaking to me replied, "No man, I'm not even close to my forties. I turned 30 a few weeks ago. Thirty. Thirty and missing half my teeth and feeling like I've been run over by a Sherman tank."

My disbelief was impossible to hide. I was tempted to ask him to show me an ID that proved his age. It seemed incredulous that a man I assumed was at least ten years older than me was actually five years younger. I forced myself to shut my mouth and just make an "Hmmm hmm" sound.

His eyes seemed to be watering up a little as he stared past me again. "Yeah, thirty, and I'm still alive. Now what? I can't go on like this anymore. It's hell."

We both sat quietly for a few minutes, as if there was an unspoken agreement to do so in order to take in the gravity of the situation.

Then he said, "Man, I cannot talk right now. I thought I could, but I can't. I'm sorry. Thought I was ready to go, but there's just so much that I can't get to the surface right now, ya' know?"

It was my turn to stare past him as I pondered my reply. Finally, after what seemed like minutes but was probably only a few seconds, I said, "I understand. I was the same way when I first started my journey to get of the streets."

Denver Cherry Blossom Festival 2019

The 47th Cherry Blossom Festival was held this weekend in downtown Denver at Sakura square in front of the Denver Buddhist Temple.

The Festival is a celebration of Japanese heritage, and that means the old and the new, from Taiko drumming & traditional Japanese dance to Anime and Manga, the festival covers the full spectrum.

Enjoyed a delicious Teriyaki Chicken lunch along with a terrific salad while there, but did not indulge in the Sake - not on the diet.

The Very Short Lament

I swear I've met an angel from Kentucky 
She walked up to me and said I was her man
Didn't even ask me my name, just told me to take her hand
And I did just that like any well trained monkey

Ear Shattering Guitar Solo Commences

Everybody's got their heroes
Gotta have someone to worship
Everybody's got their villains
Gotta have someone to blame
Makes it easier to dodge the burden
Of taking responsibility
For your own selfish motivations 
And the more egregious deviations

Yeah, Just Take The Next Left And Go Straight Through The Fence

The Tense Moment Before The Reveal

In my younger days I was always extremely apprehensive when it came to showing anyone anything I had drawn. 

That was due to a number of factors - number one being insecurity, of course. The fear that someone would look at something I had put everything I had into creating and turn to me with a quick "what is it supposed to be?" or worse, "you suck at drawing" was something I lived with constantly.

Number two was that I was personally never happy with anything I had drawn, ever. 

Weird one-two punch that, but when I got older and came to know a number of other aspiring artists, I discovered it was something we all had in common.

Even the brashest, boldest artists I met shared this commonality.

The Junior Order Of The Royal Shrubs

What Do You Celebrate When There's Nothing To Celebrate?

Today is Father's Day in the United States (a lot of other countries celebrate Father's Day in June, but there are countries that celebrate Father's Day in February, March, May, July, August, September, October, November & December).

The Holiday I've Never Celebrated.

As I have written in the past, it is a day that means absolutely nothing to me. Never having known my father, and never having had a step-father, and never being a father myself, today is a day when I generally just feel...empty.

That's it, in a nutshell. Nothing more really needs to be said.

The Unchanging Whole

It would appear that one cannot both be content with one's lot in life and desire change at the same moment in time.

One is either content with one's lot, or one desires change, that's all there is to it.

Now the paradox. Not all change is for the better, and it is illogical for a person to want change for the worse.  

And contentment often leads to stagnation.

So what's a poor soul to do?

Best To Keep Some Things From The Public

Ray walked up behind the couple waiting for the next elevator going up and stood a self-imposed mandatory distance of eighteen inches from them, give or take a quarter inch or so. He had created the eighteen-inch rule when he was fifteen, and so far it had proven to be an adequate means of keeping himself apart from people in public without appearing to be a misanthrope.

The couple entered the elevator and the tall man in the blue polo shirt and khaki pants turned toward the bank of buttons on the left. Casting a glance over to Ray, who had turned to the right and stepped as far back into the car as he could when he entered the elevator, the tall man asked, "Floor?'

Clearing his throat, Ray replied "eleven" in a raspy, almost squeaky voice, which he immediately hated himself for.

As the elevator doors closed and the car began to rise, Ray pondered a few things that had been running through his head that morning;

"...the Kaczynski manifesto is nowhere near as crazy as the government makes it out to be...he might have been a kook, but he wasn't cuokoo...why in the hell are so many of the people buying bottled water belly aching about the environment? Have they no sense? Does anyone really have any sense? Is the human race really worth saving? There must be thousands of people who have gotten away with murder...I need some coffee, I hope Lena made some coffee this morning. That woman is wearing an ugly skirt...Geez this elevator is slow...)

Ding! The elevator came to a stop at the eleventh floor. Ray walked out and immediately turned to his left, walked exactly 23 steps to the first corridor that intersected with the corridor he was in, turned right and walked another 119 steps down the long hall until he reached his office. 

He could smell fresh coffee brewing from inside the office and smiled to himself - "that Lena," he thought, "is an angel. Too bad she can't figure out how to shower more than once a week."

He looked at the sign on the door as he pushed down on the handle, "Dr. Raymond Carson, Behavioral Psychologist" it read. 

Ray chuckled to himself as he walked in, thinking, "Right, if they only knew..."

The Temporary Beauty Of Chalk Art After A Light Drizzle

                         Chalk Art Drawing, My Driveway, approx 48" X 55", One Of The Neighborhood Kids

What's Biting?

Advice For The Well-Worn

So I was at the gym this morning...yes, the gym, that place where people pay to lift heavy things repeatedly and sweat profusely in public.

Being at the gym in the morning is not unusual for me...well, it didn't used to be...kinda has been for awhile, though.

Just got too busy, too much work, you know how it goes.

To get to the point, while at the gym this morning and while using the stationary aerobic exercise device of my choosing I was reading an article in a fitness-orientated magazine about exercising when one is over the age of fifty.

It was all about being careful, with the usual instructions for proper stretching, using proper technique, cooling down, etc.

And it mentioned the importance of seeing a Doctor before starting an exercise program.

All I could think when I read that part was, "Dude, why do you think I'm at this gym? I saw a Doctor, he took one look at my fat ass and he said, Man, you have to get back to the gym."

I mean, "Duh".

Don't Look Too Closely

He was up until the wee hours of the morning again, thinking about everything that had gone wrong, and why everything had gone wrong.

When he had first met her he wasn't exactly smitten but he had been drawn to her by various aspects of her personality that, for lack of a better descriptive, were quirky,

The bold way she snuck visual sexual innuendos onto her desk at work, the ridiculous way she kept her hair, the fact that she rarely wore underwear, and even her crooked smile.

But all the attraction those things had for him had begun to fade.

What he hated most, however, was how she had grown tired of him, how everything she once found exciting about him now began to bore her, and how she had begun to be repulsed by what she initially thought was oddly attractive.

Lately he felt as if he had been put under a microscope, which was a feeling aggravated by the fact that it distracted him from all the closer scrutiny he had been placing her under.

None of which answered all the "why" questions he had but he was certain it was a big part of it.

Denver Pop Culture Con 2019

It's June, and that means it's time for the 2019 Denver Comic Con! Whoops! My bad! The gathering that was formerly known as the Denver Comic Con has changed it's name to the Denver Pop Culture Con, for a few reasons - the primary impetus being that the people running the show at the San Diego Comic Con have started to sue other organizations for encroaching on the words "Comic Con", to which the San Diego Comic Con owns the copywrite to.

Anywhatzit, the name Denver Pop Culture Con is actually much more encompassing and reflective of what the con is all about - the SDCC would probably be well-suited to start using Pop Culture Con themselves.

JR, MJM, and I made our way down to the Denver Convention Center yesterday. There we joined thousands of fans of pop culture and related sub-cultures. 

And of course, I took a few pictures.