There are worse things in life than being made to sit through an hour of someone talking about a subject that they profess to be an expert on and making notes about various claims being made and facts cited, then checking the various claims for substantiation and the facts for legitimacy, only to discover that the speaker you endured for an hour who professed knowledge and special insight is in fact an idiot and a liar.
But I can't think of any right at the moment.
The police had been called to the shopping center by a shop manager who had noticed that a van in the parking lot had not moved in three days.
Two officers had arrived on the scene in separate cruisers, parking on opposite sides of the van in a classic flanking move.
As the two officers stood behind the van with one of them writing down the license plate info, the barn doors of the van burst open and two people tumbled out, tangled up as if in a wrestling match and screaming obscenities at one another.
The two officers were momentarily surprised but quickly recovered and each one grabbed one of the wrestling duo and pulled them apart.
The combatants, one a male, mid-thirties, wearing denim pants and a t-shirt (no shoes), the other a female, mid-thirties, wearing pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt (no shoes), appeared to be stunned that they were suddenly in the hands of the police.
Looking confused and extremely disheveled, the two van dwellers looked at each other for a few seconds.
Then the woman screamed loudly, "He stole the van!!"
Immediately followed by the man shouting, "She has the meth in her purse!!"
Then silence.
Then handcuffs.
*Based on a incident witnessed one early Spring morning.
If you are starting or about to start a diet with the goal of weight loss, here's a helpful little tip that was passed on to me awhile ago:
Do not eat more at a single setting than you can comfortably carry to the table by yourself.
Received an email today from a friend who wrote that he was going on an adventure that would take him "far from cell phone and internet range."
His intention to get as far as possible from civilization is commendable in my book (I dwell on doing just such all the time), but I must admit that it does bring up concerns - what happens if you get lost or hurt or worse? How will anyone know how to find you? That sort of thing.
It also provokes the question/thought "Just when did 'getting away from it all' evolve into 'getting out of cell phone and internet range'?"
BTW, for those interested he is going on a week-long hiking/camping trip in the Copper Canyon area of the Sierra Madre Occidental of Chihuahua, Mexico.
Approximately two years ago a friend of mine who is a talented sculptor remarked that one of the benefits the world would see from the CoVid-19 quarantines would be a resurgence in the popularity of the arts, to the point they would supplant sports as the leisure time activity of choice.
His supposition was based on the fact that most sports required other people to play - anywhere from 22 people (11 to a side) for a soccer match to 6 people (3 to a side) for a game of over-the-line, and that most arts required just one person, be it painter, sculptor, poet or playwright.
I made a note of his prediction (not a mental note - those fade quickly - a real pen on paper note) and filed it in my ideas-to-follow-up-on file.
Well, here it is, two years later and despite all the turmoil and whatnot, sports are still as popular as ever, and arts are still, well, still.
Which leads me to believe that the single most popular leisure time activity in the world has become...spectating.
Everyone who has ever accomplished anything worthwhile began at a point where they doubted themselves and the validity of what they were attempting, and then got moving forward despite the doubts.
Eventually, what they had envisioned became reality.
Simple as that.
There are some undertakings that require not only strength and perseverance, but patience as well...lots and lots of patience.
Such is the project I am currently involved in. This is a big project, and it is requiring a dedicated effort on my part - and from a number of other people. The thing is, not everyone on the team seems to be able to put forth the necessary effort required, and that is where the need for boatloads of patience comes in.
First, I have to be patient with them as they perform their individual tasks and as they participate in team tasks...at a rate that is a little slower than I'd prefer.
Second, I have to be patient with myself - the individual tasks and the team tasks both actually cannot be rushed, especially not by people unaccustomed to the work requested. I need to slow my roll and stay in my lane, as the man says, and allow the others to get comfortable with the job. They'll get up to speed soon enough. I just have to be patient...
Everything will get done soon enough.
Read a couple of short biographies this morning - one of Nicolaus Copernicus (1473 - 1543) and the other of Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)
What those great minds were able to accomplish with the must rudimentary of instruments and under virtually non-stop ridicule, ostracism, and persecution from fellow scholars, instructors, the Church, and the ruling parties of the day is...astronomical.
He relished what he termed the "Facemask Culture", as it allowed him to further his desire to live as close to a chemolithoautotrophic lifestyle as possible without enduring embarrassing stares and awkward questions.
For he fancied himself a modern adherent of Jainism, and believed that even accidently breathing in a gnat or a fly that his body might use as sustenance was an unforgivable act of violence
You read that right - I used the word "chemolithoautotrophic" in a sentence, and correctly, to boot.
Sorta, maybe, if you stretch the definition a little.
Ever watch an Irish Hurling match?
Spoiler: It does not involve the morning after (or the evening of) a night of drinking.
Irish Hurling is an ancient sport (3,000 years old, give or take) played on a rectangular pitch measuring 90 meters by 145 meters (translation: a rectangular field measuring 100 yards wide by 160 yards long).
There are "H" shaped goals on either end where both points and goals are scored (explanation: a sliotar passed over the top of the crossbar scores 1 "point" and a sliotar passed below the crossbar into the net scores a "goal" worth three points. There is a goalie in front of the net, not so above, hence the scoring difference.
Note: The "sliotar" is the ball, which resembles a slightly enlarged hacky-sack.
The game is played by madmen athletes 15 to a side, and it is played fast - the sliotar can travel from one side of the pitch to the other in 2 to 3 seconds (translation: really fast) and cannot be kept in the possession of any one player for more than four steps without either being bounced off the pitch or balanced at the end of the hurley.
The hurley is a stick shaped like an axe made of solid ash - every player carries one as they run around the pitch trying to get to the sliotar. The goalie's hurley has an axe end (which is known as the Bas) twice as large as the ones being carried by the players on the pitch for obvious reasons.
Points and goals are scored by swinging the hurley like a baseball bat at the sliotar and either sending it over or under the crossbar.
Basically, Irish Hurling is a mash-up of Lacrosse, Baseball, Hockey and insanity running - lots of running.
However it may look, the action is not entirely uncontrolled mayhem. There are rules that must be adhered to, and there are fouls, both technical and "aggressive".
The "aggressive" fouls are as follows:
1) Pulling an opposition player down to the pitch
2) Swinging the stick (the hurl) in an uncontrolled or wild/reckless manner
3) Tripping
4) Trash talking - abusive or threatening language directed at an opponent, official or even a teammate is strictly forbidden
5) Throwing the stick (Hurling the hurl?) in an aggressive/dangerous manner
6) Striking (or even making an attempt to strike) an opposing player or official with the stick (hurl) or the fist, elbow, head, or especially with a kick
7) Spitting at another player
8) Any form or racial, sectarian, or homophobic abuse (Note: for those not aware sectarian refers to religious differences)
The players wear a basic uniform consisting of shoes, shorts and jerseys, and since 2010, helmets. No pads of any sort.
Which of course means the game is rife with injuries - one of the most common being "blunt scrotal trauma"
That last bit really makes you want to join in the fun, eh?
There are a lot of Hurling highlights on the ol' Youtube. If you are looking for some adrenalin pumping entertainment, I strongly recommend spending a few hours watching a few.
Why is it that shutting the door on the past and opening the door for the future can be so difficult?
Immediate Disclaimer! I am not suggesting that anyone, anywhere, should ignore what transpired in the past, good or bad - no, not for a single nano second - especially not in the geopolitical sense - we all desperately need to remember the actions of despots, madmen and tyrants and deal with them accordingly.
Seriously, the truth of the old adage "those who fail to remember the past are condemned to repeat it" have been recently ringing loud and clear in my ears on almost a daily basis.
What I mean by my initial statement today applies to the tendency people have to remember dumb or inadvertent actions on their part that have haunted them forever, or at least their lifetimes since the dumb or inadvertent action occurred.
For example, I have a friend who has a friend who cannot let go of an embarrassing moment that transpired over forty years ago - forty years ago!
It was one of those dumb things that awkward teenagers do - this friend-of-a-friend asked a girl out, she accepted, they went on a date, and they ended up both getting arrested for trespassing after they were caught skinny-dipping in a neighboring condo complexes community pool.
Who, during those tender adolescent years (or maybe even as a young adult) hasn't done that exact same thing at least once or twice?
Sure, it was embarrassing then and the girl's parents forbid her from ever seeing the young man in question again, but geez Louise, in the long run it was a no-harm, no-foul event.
Because, you know, security cameras were not so prevalent 40 years ago.