The Sculpture In The Park That No One Really Liked

Into Anything Or Into Nothing

    I was asked what I was into when I was a younger, and my reply was, "How much younger? Twenty years ago? Forty years ago? Fifty?"

   The woman who posed the question paused briefly and said, "When you were in your late teens, early twenties, what were you into at that time?"

   Without hesitation I flatly stated "Life".

   "I was into living my life to the fullest. I went out dancing a lot, because I really liked dancing and I liked music. I also was into art and literature - dove headfirst into Kerouac after reading On The Road, but also Philip Roth, and Chandler, and Vonnegut, and a whole bunch of Sci-Fi authors like Zelazny, Clarke, Bradbury, Jose-Farmer, and a ton of others. I think I read just about any book that I could get my hands on." 

   "What about your education? Did you go to college? What did you study?"

   "You know, I tried college several times, but ultimately it became too difficult for me to both earn a living and attend college. Also, there was the part where I just didn't possess enough self-discipline or an adequate attention span, one or the other, or maybe it was both, to pursue any particular subject for too long. I studied Architecture, History, English, and a few other interests - but I never put together a specific curriculum, never climbed over that wall."

   "Really? You come across as a fairly well-educated person. Very worldly, too."

   "Thank you, appreciate that. I chalk that up to a lack of a television in the household when I was a kid, and the resultant addiction to reading that I developed."

    She looked at my face as if trying to judge whether I was being truthful about my background and then asked, "So what are you into now?"

   "Pretty much the same things, except not so much with the dancing. Can't think of the last time I went out dancing."

   

When It All Seems Pointless, Meaningless

He insisted it was all pointless, pointlessly meaningless

And I said, "If that is so then what would be the point of you saying so?"

Because if everything is as pointless and meaningless as you say

Then that would have to include everything you say

So if you don't mind can you please refrain from saying it

At least while I'm in earshot

For I do not believe as you do, I see a point and meaning in most everything

Whether it's meaningful for bees to pollinate flowers

Or if there is a point to the birds chirping away in the trees

It all has meaning, it all has a point

To me

So shove your existential nihilist claptrap

Back into whatever dark corner of your mind in sprung from

For as you keep insisting, it's all pointless, pointlessly meaningless

Her Memory Of A Spring Break On The Carolina Shore Almost 19 Years Ago*

She had tears in her eyes as she watched him getting ready

He was such a handsome boy

Smart & strong, athletic

Graceful, yet rough & ready

She loved his pale blue eyes

And the soul that she saw behind them

His sandy blonde hair that slightly curled

It was hard not to think he was a prize

As she looked at him she recalled that Spring Break

Myrtle Beach had been so much fun

Absently she let her mind drift back  

To that week in late March and the fateful clambake

The first time she caught sight of him 

She knew he was to be the one

He was with a group of friends, laughing

Tanned and toned but not like he lived in a gym

Slowly, purposefully, she worked her way closer

'til she was able to get into his line of sight

When he looked at her she thought she'd melt

Vividly she recalled willing him to come over

When he broke away from his friends and did just that

She was surprised but remained calm

He introduced himself and held out his hand

She told him her name and they started to chat

The chemistry was instant, he was so easy to talk to

She waited twenty minutes to accidently brush up against him

He responded just as she had expected 

As the sun went down they held hands taking in the view

That week went by so fast and wonderfully

Spending everyday and night together as young lovers do

When it was time to leave they promised to call and write

But she knew for herself it would have to end completely

She had planned to meet a smart boy she could enchant

And she did just as she planned

She also promised herself that the only thing she was returning with

Were fond memories and the hope of being as the French say, enceinte

It was difficult to throw away the address and phone number

But she did not want to further complicate her decision

The plan had worked and she was prepared to face the consequences

Alone but for a few friends and her sister

When the baby arrived healthy she knew she had done right

Though it was a challenge everyday and sometimes she wished

That he would be able to meet his father at least once

She doubted that boy would even remember the night

When the day came that he finally asked

The lie she had practiced for years was finally spoken

Your father was a sailor who was lost at sea

Said with a finality and sadness that closed the door on her past

Standing in her boy's room as he packed to leave for college

She brought her thoughts back to the present

He was the spitting image of his father as she remembered him

She dried her eyes and smiled melancholic

*I wrote this entire dealio just to use the French word "enceinte" in a sentence 

**I've received a number of emails asking if this was based on a real life incident (in one email I was told by the sender that this closely parallels his own life, as he was born to an unwed mother who eventually revealed to him that he was a planned pregnancy by her, but not by the man who got her pregnant, and that he never met his father until he was in his thirties via 23&Me).

   To clarify, there are elements of this dealio that are based on some real life experiences I've been told about, but not on anything I personally experienced or was party to. 

Deflecting Falling Rocks With A Tissue-Paper Shield

Fighting fires with flowers

Won't win you many battles

But you don't need super powers

To end petty squabbles

Just gotta learn to swallow your pride

Even if it kills you a little inside

Let humility be your guide

Take a deep breath and let it slide

The Tyranny Of The Red Light Camera

   It hit him suddenly, about midway through his questioning of the young police officer who had taken the stand.

   At first he had paid little to no attention to the officer's bonafides as he was relating them in response to the prosecutor's request, but then the realization that the young officer and the older officer before him, had both stated that their place of employment, the actual building they worked in, was the very building they were in at the moment sparked something in the defendant's brain.

   And that something was ignited further when the defendant caught sight of the look on the Judge's face as he was questioning the young officer. He was asking questions regarding the camera that had been used to take the video of the alleged traffic infraction, and noticed a momentary look of almost parental concern directed by the Judge to the officer, and then a just-as-momentary look of disdain directed toward him, the defendant trying to prove his innocence.

   Then and there he realized that the young officer, despite having stated that he had been trained in the use and functions of the red light camera, had no actual knowledge of it's technical specs, and continuing to ask questions about frame rates, and whether the camera utilized traditional photographic film or videotape, or did it rely on a CMOS or CCD sensor for the recording medium and how large those sensors were, and what the refresh rate of the monitor he observed the video playback on was, and how the bright light of the sunny afternoon the picture was taken on would effect the resolution of the image...was pointless.

   Due to the fact that everyone in the courtroom that was tasked with the prosecution of the case against him worked together...in the same building...for years...the Judge who had momentarily glanced at the young officer with almost motherly concern, the young prosecutor full of vim and vigor, both the younger and older officer who had reviewed the red light camera footage...had most likely sat in this same exact courtroom for the exact same purpose as they were today on countless occasions.

   The defendant mentally threw out his rehearsed arguments based on the yellow light in a 45 mph zone being two seconds shorter than the 6 seconds recommended by the NTSB (due to the possibility of rear-end collisions), and his rehearsed argument that cameras, particularly digital cameras, often blur images or eliminate images altogether due to frame rate and resolution differences, which often made images look slower or faster than they actually were...

   Forget 'confirmation bias' the defendant said to himself..."I'm literally dealing with a family here, and this family is not going to listen to, much less closely exam anything I might present that would exonerate me...I'm toast".

   And so, mentally throwing up his hands he discontinued his questioning of the young officer, declined the opportunity to make a closing argument, listened patiently to the closing argument of the prosecutor, just as patiently listened to the Judge sum up the evidence and facts as presented and declare him guilty as charged, and then walked out of the courtroom and downstairs to the clerk's window where he begrudgingly paid the $75.00 fine.

   The defendant still regarded the day a fun and educational one though, as he loved being in a courtroom and playing the role of an attorney, even though he was aware of how much the odds were stacked against him.

   

Bee Happy