The Garden Of The Gods 2020

Wildflower Wonderstuff

The Administration Of Egregious Flaws

A Limited Supply Of Mulligans

Wouldn't it be great if we all had been given a limited supply of mulligans?

For use in real life situations wherein we had screwed up somehow, not to use because we hit an errant golf shot.

The Statistical Illiterate

In 1954 a gentleman by the name of Darrell Huff wrote a book titled "How To Lie With Statistics".

Darrell Huff was not a statistician. He was a journalist.

In the the decades that followed the publication of the book it became one of the biggest selling books on statistics in history. It was used by many colleges as a means of introducing young students to the study of statistics.

The uncanny thing about the book is that it not only provided an easy to understand way to interpret statistics, it literally provided an even easier means to understand how media and advertising use statistics to mislead the public. 

It should be required reading for everyone, if only for self-defense.

The Doctor's Name Rhymes With Royce

Dr Seuss

Pronounced his name to rhyme with royce

Not with goose

(He actually told me this one day)

But people insisted Seuss rhymed with moose

And disregarded his pronunciation choice

(Much to the great man's dismay)

Gotta Case Of The Lack Of Ramblin' Blues

Going on a trip soon, don't know where to, just know I gotta go

Itchin'n' to experience somethin' new, want to wear out my walkin' shoes, need to lay my eyes on a heretofore unseen scene

Want to see a few fresh faces, wander around some old places, maybe take two hundred dull photos I'll never look at again

The lure of the open road is strong, no one will ever convince me it's wrong, there can't be any sin in the desire to see the world

With a bit of luck I'll make a friend, maybe a person I'd like to someday visit again, but neither of us will complain if we don't

Gotta get on the road, gotta get on the road, gotta get, gotta go 

Walk Among The Mums

Golden yellow balls of sunshine 

Blooming in the noon-day heat

Not What This Parking Lot Deserved, But What This Parking Lot Needed.

The Muralist's Conversation With The Developer

Developer: "So, I really like what I've seen of your work - Your compositions fill spaces without overwhelming them, the colors you use pop, your imagery is first rate - really like all the flowers, especially the hypericum androsaemums. There's one thing though..."

Muralist: "Hmm? What's that?"

Developer: "Well...it's your hands. I mean, not your hands -  the hands you use to draw and paint with, I mean your hands as in the hands you draw and paint in a lot of your work."

Muralist: "I'm afraid I'm not following you. The hands I depict in my murals are somewhat of my hallmark, it's how people can readily identify one of my pieces. Also, I very much like drawing and painting hands - do you not like hands? Or is it just the way I depict hands?"

Developer: "Oh, no, no, don't misread me on this - I very much like hands, absolutely love them! It's just your hands, the ones you paint, are so...overly graceful. They're all beautiful, like the hands of the very best hand models who ever lived. Thin, graceful fingers, tipped by expertly manicured fingernails. That's just too much...beauty."

Muralist: "Waitaminute...What?" What are you saying, you want me to incorporate uglier hands into the mural you're commissioning?"

Developer: "No, not uglier, I don't want uglier hands at all, actually. I just want them less graceful. I want them to be more like, like Bernie Wrightson hands."

Muralist: "Bernie Wrightson hands?" You mean hands like Bernie Wrightson would draw on all the freaks and zombies in the books he illustrated?"

Developer: "Yes! Exactly, just like that! That's exactly what I mean!"

Muralist: "I don't know about that - for starters, it could get me labeled a swipe artist, and I'm no swipe artist. Plus, the type of gnarled shapes Wrightson twisted hands into really doesn't lend itself to what I'm trying to convey in my murals..."

Developer: "Are you willing to compromise a little" You could put at least one Bernie Wrightson hand in the mural, and however many graceful hands you want in the rest of it - but there's got to be at least one Bernie Wrightson hand - think of it as a homage, or a memorial."

Muralist: "Hmm...okay, I think I have an idea of how this compromise might work, and I do like the idea of including a Wrightson hand as a memorial. That man was very talented and left us much too soon. Okay, you get one Wrightson hand in the mural, but just the one."

Developer: "Great! Let's shake on it!" 

And with the those words the developer extended his right hand, fingers bent and twisted from years of arthritis...

Support For Black Lives Matter

I have been asked why I support the Black Lives Matter movement.

The answer is simple.

Because I believe it is the duty of the oppressed to rise up against their oppressor and demand to be treated as equals, entitled to the same freedoms, the same rights, as everyone else.

It's a belief I have held dearly since I first read it in the single most important sentence ever written in the history of mankind, the second sentence of the preamble of the Declaration of Independence.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

That's it, right there. That's the foundation of the United States. The very core.

Of course, I do not support violent demonstrations or vandalism - that's not the BLM, that's hoodlum bullsh*t. 

The Conundrum

There are those who say that in order to be successful at anything, you have to plot your own course, set your own sail, keep your eyes focused on your own horizon, don't ever get too close to anyone least they become a burden, and never, ever deviate from your plan.

There are also those who say that in order to be successful you must surround yourself with like-minded individuals, cultivate at least one serious mentorship with a person who has already achieved stature in your chosen profession, study carefully the work of those who have gone before you and always be willing to help others who are walking the same path you are.

Huh. 

Somewhere in both of those statements there is the answer.

The Deceiver's Haiku

The warm disarming 

Grin, smile, playfully laugh

Then shout, insult, bleed 

Warm Blow The Breezes

The Understatement Of All Understatements

Nothing is certain but death and taxes.

We've all read or heard it, and we've all quietly nodded our heads in silent agreement with it.

The origins of the statement have been famously attributed to Ben Franklin, in a letter to his contemporary Jean-Baptiste Le Roy back in 1789. However, similar statements had been recorded as far back as 1716 (Christopher Bullock, in his The Cobbler of Preston).

Which is not the point of this. The point of this is that Ben Franklin, and Christopher Bullock, and anyone else who wrote down or muttered anything similar, were way off the mark.

There is a helluva lot more that is certain than death and taxes.

For example, stupidity. Stupidity abounds, and always has. I'd venture a guess that stupidity is one of the primary certainties. 

It is extremely probable that stupidity has been certain since the dawn of time. There can be no doubt at this stage in mankind's history that we can be certain that stupidity has been the primary cause of nearly every conflict among humans, ever, right?

And stupidity goes hand-in-hand with arrogance, right? That's fairly certain.

We certainly cannot mention arrogance as a certainty without bringing up ego, that's for sure (or certain). The megalomania of mankind has been with us since...the inception of mankind.

Man, there are literally a hundred thousand things that are certain. The hypocrisy of Politicians, the lack of skepticism among believers, the naivete of the inexperienced, the boundless enthusiasm of the fresh convert...

...I could go on, but that would belabor the point...which is another certainty, by the way.

Land Of A Thousand Chances

Independence Day, 2020

Trashcans Full Of Unopened Valentines

She opened up her heart to him, 
Told him all her hopes and dreams and fears
He said, "Honey, keep those to yourself, 
We all have our fair share
Life is nothin' but a blind draw
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win
No use in wondering why the world is against you
We're all hoping for either salvation or a little sin."