Winter Gold

Monday Morning Musings

 The world is an ever-changing, wondrous place, eh? Just a few hundred years ago the vast majority of the human population was illiterate - could neither read nor write, and what the vast majority knew was what they could recall of their own experience, or the experiences of others that they had either been told about or had witnessed themselves.

Which is somewhat of a mind-boggling thing when you consider that before the year 1440 only the extremely wealthy could afford a book (not to mention the education necessary to make use of the book).

Before 1440, the year Gutenberg invented the printing press, books were tediously created one page at a time by scribes - the best of these scribes could copy two or three thousand words a day, which means that it could take up to six months to produce one copy of the Bible - longer if illustrations were requested.

BTW, a book is described as a manuscript in excess of 49 pages. 49 pages or less and what you have is a pamphlet. 

In the 560 years since the invention of movable type the human race has gone from less than 1% of the population being literate to 90% of the population being literate (99.2% of the developed world).

Heck, since 1970 world literacy has been cut in half!

And that my friends is remarkable.

Still, there are people who cannot or will not read simple instructions, such as "Slow Traffic Keep Right."

And that right there is terrible.

Neither A Politician Nor A Lawyer Be

 

          My advice for those who wish to remain uncorrupted.

Ssssh! Don't Tell Anyone, But...

 Here's a little known shameful secret of a number of cities in the United States (and most likely other countries).

When fire hydrants are made obsolete (for various reasons - new construction may require fire hydrants to be added closer to a building, or a water main may be rerouted, or a mall or entire area that the fire hydrant served becomes derelict and is then bulldozed, etc.), it is the policy of a number of cities to leave the useless fire hydrants right where they are.

Why?

Parking ticket revenue.

The Thanksgiving That Really Wasn't

 Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the states, a holiday that predates the founding on the United States as a country by a little over 150 years - the Pilgrims celebrated Thanksgiving (as a three day harvest festival) with members of tribes that lived in and around the colony of Plymouth, Massachusetts.

I'm going to venture a guess that yesterday's Thanksgiving celebrations were as low-key as they have been since WWII. 

The Thanksgiving holiday usually means large gatherings of family and friends. Thanksgiving at my house usually would involve upwards of thirty people. 

Yesterday there were five of us.

Oh sure, we did most everything we usually did on Thanksgiving - watched a little of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade (surreal, that - no people at the parade!) watched some Gridiron football, listened to Alice's restaurant (twice), watched the Wizard of Oz, and ate too much of a very good 7 course dinner (JH's casserole was again the big hit of the meal).

And of course, gave thanks for all our blessings.

But it was not the same, not even close. Kinda missed all the people that usually showed up, ya know?

The Chances Of Developing A Mutual Commitment To Happiness

In the best case scenario, he mused

There would be no need at all for any degree of case scenario

Unfortunately, there would be questions asked and answers demanded

Regardless of his preferences

He stood there longing for the days of his youth

When the only consequences for his indiscretions

Was a spell in the corner or a couple of swats

Nothing that would actually curtail his enthusiasm for mischief

Now he had to weigh his chances of copping a plea

Or rolling the dice with a jury of his peers

But wait, he screamed, these are not my peers!

They are my betters...they are innocent and unashamed

Then the thought occurred to him

That maybe, just maybe

He could play upon their sympathies

Flutter his long dark eyelashes, droop his bedroom eyes a bit more

His Counselor put the kabosh on that idea

With a reminder that he was playing for his life, not time

His collar felt tight, the tie like a noose

He had to fight the urge to get up and run

He had to contain his urge to bust loose

The bailiff stood stoically with his hand on his gun

That alone was enough to create a truce

Then he shook his head to clear his vision

And realized he wasn't on trial, he was in his house

And all he was being asked was where had he been tonight

And all he had to do was admit he'd stopped off at a place

To unload his mind of all the crap he'd dealt with today

In order to be able to arrive home without itching for a fight

Snow Cow Social

 "It's snowing Carl, and it's very cold. I'm only trying to help you keep warm."

   "Don't give me any of that BS Bernie, you toot one more time when I'm right behind you and I'll end you."

Winter Wonder...land?

 

Just Another Sign O' The Times

 

Posting Pictures Of Posts In A Post

 

A chipmunk, an owl, and a bear walk into a bar...

The Great DIA West Short Term Parking Garage Closure Fiasco

Friday morning I had to drive my friend and roomie MJM to Denver International Airport (Everybody remembers my buddy MJM, right? The guy who had a stroke last June but is recovering remarkably but still has to deal with left side blindness, which makes it difficult for him to get around? Yeah, that guy) in order for him to catch a flight to SD where he will be spending Thanksgiving (lucky bastich).

(Little voice inside my head: Whoa, whoa, what are you doing here big guy? It's like, three days since this happened, let it go!)

(Other little voice inside my head: Oh no you don't, you are not going to censor another story, not this time - why do you think all the pictures were taken - they are evidence, and evidence must be presented!)

*Ahem* As I was writing...I took MJM to DIA this past Friday, and as luck would have it, there was a lot of construction going on along Pena Blvd, the road that gets one from 1-70 to the airport. 

Which should not have been a surprise to me, really, as there has never not been construction going on around or in DIA in the 31 years that ground was first broken on the boondoggle project.

(Little voice inside my head: Oh come on, not the DIA boondoggle diatribe again, it's been done to death!)

(Other little voice inside my head: Yeah, gotta agree with that, let's stick to the events of this past Friday)

Okay, so, I'm driving Mike to DIA  and the first signs alerting us to the construction that is currently underway are just past the Jackson Gap exit - see below.

The first bright orange construction sign that alerts drivers to a change in the driving pattern

Okay, no big deal, the Denver metro region has had a ton of road construction projects going on for decades, I'm used to it, this is hardly going to make us late. Heck, MJM's flight isn't scheduled to leave for over an hour an a half, and since the airport is only seeing about 20% of it's usual (re: pre 'rona) traffic, we should be fine.

Look at all those bright orange signs alerting everyone to the traffic pattern change - whew!

I was genuinely impressed with all the signage present that gave drivers a big heads up to the changes in the usual traffic pattern - to the point where I was thinking it was a bit of overkill.

(Little voice inside my head: What?! Safety is no accident Dude!)

(Other little voice inside my head: Whatever...overkill.)

Of course, road construction means a reduction in the speed limits, but no big deal - after all, it was still more than an hour and a half before MJM's flight was scheduled to take off.

(Little voice inside my head: Safety first!)

(Other little voice inside my head: Overkill.)

Finally on the road that leads to the West Terminal, where I would park in the short term parking lot and then walk MJM to the ticket counter to check in his luggage and hand him over the DIA disabled traveler assistant, who would ensure he got on his flight.

Approaching the West Terminal a decision has to be made fairly quickly as to which lanes one wants to be in, either take the right lanes that go to the upper level doors for easy access to the airline ticket counters for whomever you are dropping off, or take the left lanes if you need to use the short term parking (with a whopping 10 minutes of free parking) if you have passengers who may have a lot of luggage...or perhaps a disability that requires you to actually escort them into the terminal.

This sign, placed well beyond the point of reasonably easy choice as to which lane to take, states "West Short Term Parking Closed" - but it's difficult to read as some of the letters are not as well lit up as the others, and the harsh low winter sun from an early morning sunrise only makes it more difficult.

Then this sign appeared - well past the tens of other signs alerting one to the change in traffic patterns due to the road construction. 

This is the same sign with the follow-up message "Use East Short Term Parking" that quickly followed the "West Short Term Parking Closed" message, and with the same difference in light brightness amongst the letters and harsh low winter sun making it difficult to actually read the message.

I stopped my truck in the median immediately after I read the messages as I realized that driving back around to the East Terminal to park and then shambling walking with MJM from the East Terminal short term parking through the terminal to the ticket counter would take a lot more time than I was comfortable risking - airlines being notorious with closing boarding of flights 20 minutes prior to departure so as to not endanger their on-time departure and arrival standing.

So I quickly decided the best course of action would be to let MJM out at the arrival area with his luggage and have him hang tight until I drove around to the East Terminal short term parking and then ran through from the east side of the terminal to the west side to retrieve him.

Driving around to the east side of the terminal would not be quick under the best conditions - DIA is huge, bigger that the city of Boston (this is not hyperbole on my part - Boston is a city that covers 49 square miles, DIA is 52.4 square miles). However, I figured that with traffic being about 20% of normal, even with construction zone speeds I still had plenty of time.

But I was wrong...very wrong, as the usual return-to-terminal route was closed due to the construction underway somehow incorporating that road. The exit I would have to use would be the Jackson Gap exit, which meant I would have to drive a nearly six mile loop..at construction speeds

The Jackson Gap exit...way down there...where construction was underway at the intersection...

I honestly drove as close to the speed limit as I could - which was not me being overtly safety conscious, it was me being astutely aware than the Denver PD feast on speeders at the airport - there is only one road that leads to the terminal, and it is definitely a speed trap a road that requires careful observation of the posted speed limits.

It took me a about 20 minutes to drive around to the east terminal, and another 15 minutes to find a parking space in the short term parking lot, then another 15 minutes to get from where I parked to where I had left MJM at the west terminal departure area. As quickly as MJM could shamble walk we made it to the ticket counter...where we were promptly told that MJM's flight was about to close to prepare for departure and there was no way he would make the flight (it takes about 20 minutes to get from a ticket counter to even the closest gates at DIA).

Needless to say I was upset.

(Little voice inside my head: You know, it's been said you can tell a lot about a man by what he allows to annoy him.)

(Other little voice inside my head: Shut up.)

After getting MJM rebooked on a flight to SD that was leaving two hours later, I decided I wanted to file a complaint with whoever runs the parking / traffic control show at DIA. So I did a little digging and acquired the phone number of DIA's manager of parking & traffic.

(Little voice inside my head: You're not going to spill how you actually got his name and number are you?)

(Other voice inside my head: Of course not, no need to get sources in trouble.)

I dialed H.H, at *** *** 4080 and to my surprise he actually answered his phone. I then explained what I (and MJM) had just endured, and suggested that some clearer signage advising the closure of the West Terminal short term parking garage should be posted, and a whole lot further from the west terminal, just in case there might be other people coming to the airport with a disabled passenger or maybe a ton of luggage.  

The reply H.H. gave me is why I am going through the trouble of writing this post.

(Little voice inside my head: No it's not, you're just being a cranky pants curmudgeon.)

(Other little voice inside my head: WTF?! That's not true - the story must be told!)

See, H.H. told me that the West Terminal short term parking was not closed, though it had been up until yesterday, and if I had just drove into the parking garage I would have seen that.

So I did what any person in my position would have done. I apologized for bothering him with was a egregious error on my part...then went out and drove to the West Terminal parking garage.

There were cars ahead of me as I approached the West Terminal parking garage, so I started to feel quite sheepish, and thought I probably should call H.H. and apologize yet again.

That is, until I saw this. The West Terminal parking garage was definitely closed. H.H,, the director of parking / traffic control at DIA was either not aware of this, or deliberately fed me a line of bull to shoo me away. 

(Little voice inside my head: Kerist, what a whiney rant. Happy now?)

(Other voice inside my head: Should be, got the truth out.)

No, BTW, I am not happy - I had to pay $5.00 to park because short term parking is only free for ten minutes. It's not even possible to cross from the east to the west side of the terminal in ten minutes from the closest parking spot in the East Terminal short term parking.

Correlation? Possibly...

The pics below are of vehicles in the STRIDE line for CoVid-19 testing. 

The news outlets have recently ramped up stories about an increase in the number of CoVid-19 cases...with very little corresponding coverage of the increase in testing facilities.

I'm not all that sharp when it comes to causation or correlation, but it's a bit difficult to deny that the recent uptick in CoVid-19 cases being diagnosed may have a little to do with the massive increase in CoVid-19 testing facilities that are extremely easy to access.

The STRIDE testing facility the vehicles are in line for is at the corner of 6th avenue and Kipling, right down the street from my house. It's there 5 days a week, from early in the morning until late in the afternoon.

It wasn't there last Spring, which is the period of time being used as the basis for the "uptick" comparison.

Just sayin'

 

On The Plus Side, We're Making Good Time

 

Got Any Oats?

 

Don't Actually Agree With The Sentiment...But Not Going To Argue The Point, Either

 

The Biggest Disappointment Of The 2020 Elections So Far...

 The elections being pretty much wrapped up, it is now time for me to state what I consider to be the biggest disappointment of this years election season.

I may be stating the obvious, but clearly the lack of a celebrity threatening to leave the United States and take up residency elsewhere this year if their candidate doesn't win has been extremely disappointing - heck, it has honestly left me feeling a bit cheated.

The threats of celebrities in regards to their place of residence if they do not get their way is the single most hilarious means of a celebrity expressing displeasure that I can think of.

The best of the threats to leave were the dueling threats of two of the Baldwin brothers, Stephen & Alec. Those two are on different sides of the political divide, and both have threatened to leave the country if the other's preference won. Sadly, both of those guys are still residing in the U.S.

Imminent Travel plans have been a part of Barbra Streisand's political stance for years now. She's still here though, living the good life on her multi-million dollar estate in Malibu, enjoying the proceeds of being adored by millions of American fans.

Canada, France, Costa Rica and Spain seem to be the destination of choice for a lot of the celebrities who have threatened to move if the candidate or issue of their choice failed to win/pass. 

Canada makes sense on certain levels. Most celebs born in the United States are familiar to Canadians, and there is no language barrier to speak of (not even in Quebec, for the most part). So their daily allotment of ego-feeding adoration should be readily satisfied.

France does too, I suppose. With a reputation for embracing even the least talented stars of stage & screen, I can see France as being a somewhat logical choice...except, no, it's gotten a bit violent across the pond.

Maybe it's due to the CoVid-19 pandemic that the zeal for leaving the country has curbed the enthusiasm of celebs for threatening to leave. 

Though I don't see why that should be, I mean, after all, there is no country in the world handling the CoVid-19 pandemic as poorly as the U.S....right? 

Look! Up In The Sky! It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's A Well-Grounded Individual!

I was asked once (or maybe a thousand times - the question is age specific) what super power I would want to have (get what I mean by age specific?)

When I was a young boy I think my answer was always the ability to fly. I didn't care much for being able to see through walls or lifting buildings off their foundations or being able to turn invisible. I just wanted to fly, and I think now it was due to an innate belief that flying meant freedom.

As an adult, I now believe the greatest super power would be the ability to heed great advice.

This may not seem like a super power to some people, but speaking as someone who can be an obstinate, pig-headed dolt, yes, yes it is.

Being able to fly is still a close second though.

A Decidedly Improbable Win

Went to the Broncos vs Chargers game at Empower Field today. To be frank I did not have high hopes for an exciting football game - but I did want to experience a professional football game with barely over 5,000 fans in attendance.

Short story short, it was weird.

The place was oddly quiet at times - every sound made on the field was amplified as a result. Every thawack, crack, and crunch.

As I have for the past few years I attended the game with ever-loyal-to-the-Chargers friend, MJM - yes, the same MJM who suffered a fairly crippling stroke back in June. He has made remarkable progress in his recovery - shout out to the staff at Saint Anthony's hospital in Lakewood, and all the great people with Colorado STRIDE!

Like every professional sports team actually playing during the time of the 'rona, the Broncos have populated the stands with large cut outs of fans, former players, dogs, cats, and many historical figures. The Broncos have added a comical angle to the cut-out game however, by featuring nearly every single character that has ever appeared in an episode of South Park in the, appropriately enough, south stands (Note: for those unfamiliar with the usual denizens of the south stands...well, there is not a lot of difference...)

The oddly quiet atmosphere aside, most everything else about the sparse crowd was agreeable - especially the fact that lines for everything were small or nonexistent!

Kinda like attending a Chargers game in San Diego in the mid 1980's, after Fouts retired (bada bing!).

Of course, the best part of attending the game was witnessing a fantastic come-from-waaayyyy-behind victory by the Broncos! That made this one of the very few highlights of this somewhat bleak year.