One More Run Around The Sun

Time To Blow Out Candles...A Lot Of Candles

One of the best aspects of having life-long friends is they generally know a lot about me, including my taste in music, which means when they send me CDs (I'm a Gen Xer, we still listen to CDs...), they are CDs I am absolutely going to love.

Thanks Rickles, once again on target with a great B-day gift!

This Is Fun! Let's Do It Again Next Year!

This isolation, this keeping at least six feet apart, this wearing masks in public to keep from spreading particulate...

Let's do it again next year. Seriously, let's make this an annual, worldwide event. 

But without the virus, without the sickness and death.

I mean, look around you - the stay at home mandates are doing wonders for the environment, doing wonders for the atmosphere. Have you seen the before and after pictures of the Los Angeles skyline? Incredible.

I know what you're thinking - "But look how it's destroying the economy, millions of people are out of work, people are being threatened with eviction, people are being made destitute."

So, we plan for that. We modify the global economy so that it only requires 11 months of activity to sustain people for 12 months.

If you think about it, it's actually been that way for quite a few years now. A large percentage of the world's workforce already gets 30 days of annual vacation.

Let's just make it a mandatory thing that everyone has to vacation in place for 30 days for the same exact period of time.

Without losing their jobs or benefits or seniority, etc.

Maybe we could modify it a little, divide the mandatory 30 day period by hemisphere, so everyone can get an optimal month weatherwise - It could be August in the northern Hemisphere, February in the southern Hemisphere.

That would prevent a worldwide recession, and material and food shortages - one half of the world could provide for the other half - hell, it would be great for global trade, eh?

No air, sea, or ground travel would be allowed, unless it's 100% human powered - if you want to see Yosemite and you live in Denver, you have to either hike there or maybe ride your bike. If you want to visit the Bahamas you better have a longboat and a few good rowing buddies.

You're probably thinking I've gone full twist, but I'm serious. I know the past 4 to 6 weeks of mandatory quarantine has been hard for literally hundreds of millions of people, but what if we take the lessons we have all learned while living under quarantine and applied them? What if we did this thing when we were all well prepared for it?

Surely the vast majority of the population of this planet must be learning the valuable lesson that it is absolutely necessary to have enough saved up to be able to pay all of one's bills for at least thirty days, and surely the vast majority of the population of this planet must be learning the valuable lesson that it is wise to not be dependent upon a bureaucracy to provide for your basic needs.

Someone lie to me and tell me those lessons are being learned.

Stay Inside The Circle Of Invincibility

Everybody keeping their distance, no one taking any chances. We're all wearing masks, we're all washing our hands, we're all keeping our hands away from our faces...

...right?

Hope On The Rocks

Somebody painted this rock and placed it on my lawn, either late last night or early this morning. I don't know why, but I do appreciate the encouragement.

So, thanks mystery rock-painting stranger, and right back atcha.

Every Twenty Minutes, Twenty Four Seven

All those voices trying to influence

Words being used like cannonade on a battlefield

Bombastic, acidic, fiery, snide

Trivial, superficial, inane, trite

Everybody wanting you to believe they're right

Giving us a choice of piss or vinegar

On tonight's tossed salad

Repetition to hammer it in

Repeat it again and again and again

Repetition to hammer it in

Repeat it again and again and again

Our way is the only way, their way is wrong

How can you possibly listen to them 

You don't know where they've been

All the wrong schools, all the wrong clubs

Worshiping the wrong god and playing dirty pool

We'll give you hope, we'll make you okay

Don't listen to those others they only tell lies

You can tell by our smiles we aren't like the others 

If you'd only open your mind, if you'd only see

Trust us unquestioningly, we're your true friends

Giving us a choice of piss or vinegar

On tonight's tossed salad

Repetition to hammer it in

Repeat it again and again and again

Repetition to hammer it in

Repeat it again and again and again

24/7

The More Things Change...Oh Hell, There's Always Going To Be That One Guy Driving Slow In The Passing Lane...

A few posts back I wrote about how much faster people are driving due to the roads being somewhat wide open during the day, what with traffic being less than 70% of normal.

Well, yesterday I decided to take Co route 36 eastbound to I-25 to go home from work as I hadn't driven that route in over a month.

Colorado route 36 features two open lanes in each direction, with a third far left lane for HOV's or people willing to pay to use it (so naturally I never use it). 

What that means to the average driver tooling along route 36 is that instead of the far left lane being the passing lane, it is the lane that runs parallel to the far left lane that is the passing lane. 

In Colorado the passing lane is exactly what it implies, a lane used to pass the slower traffic driving on the right.

However, there are some drivers who are seemingly unaware of this. 

There are some drivers who seem to believe that, due to the fact that the passing lane is frequently devoid of traffic because no driver has deemed it's necessary to pass a vehicle driving in front of them, that they can use the passing lane as a leisurely cruising lane.

And that, my friends, is exactly what happened yesterday. 

There I was in the right hand lane of a stretch of Co route 36 with a posted speed limit of 65 MPH, and soon I was behind a driver traveling at less than 55 MPH.

So naturally I made the decision to utilize the passing lane to pass that driver and resume my commute at the posted limit of 65 MPH. 

Except, when I made the transition to the passing lane I found myself behind a driver also driving less than the posted 65 MPH speed limit, and with barely a gap of a car length between that driver in the passing lane and the driver I was previously behind in the right lane.

The driver in front of me was apparently oblivious to me being right behind them, or that they were impeding the flow of traffic.

The driver in front of me just kept on toddling along in their Subaru, maintaining the aforementioned less than one car gap between their car and the car in the right lane, both of which were traveling about 55 MPH in a clearly posted 65 MPH zone.

After a few minutes there were at least ten vehicles behind me and also behind the driver I had previously been behind in the right hand lane. 

And not one car in front of the car driving ahead of me. 

So, a traffic jam. A completely unnecessary traffic jam on a highway with 70% fewer cars driving on it than usual.

And people wonder what causes road rage.

This Is A Job For...Qualified Medical Personnel

                     

On The Brink of Cleaning

I am dangerously close to clearing out the garage completely in order to give it a thorough cleaning.

Dangerously close. Somebody please stop me.

The Half Drunk Afternoon Serenaders Of Lakewood

The thing about working remotely, working from home, is of course, the distractions.

For instance, right now three of the men I'm sharing quarantine with (two that actually live in the residence, one from across the street) are directly below the home office area I am currently occupying. 

They are in the garage, and they have been singing along with various songs they've been requesting from Alexa for the better part of two hours now.

They've been team day-drinking and that has only made their god-awful attempts to follow the bouncing ball about 5X worse than usual.

It's pretty much like inhabiting a room above the worst karaoke bar on the planet.

The Way It Will Be Someday

Some people, maybe quite a few individuals currently living on this planet are going to have kooky, crazy recollections of these kooky, crazy times someday.

Some people, maybe quite a few individuals currently living on this planet are going to have tearful, bitter recollections of these tearful, bitter times someday.

Months from now, years from now, decades from now, a memory will worm it's way to the forefront of some unsuspecting souls thoughts...and that soul is going to smile, or laugh, or cry.

That's what survivors always have to deal with.

Get Your Yip Yaps Out

The hour of 8:00 in the evening is struck and the howling is once again taken up by those who have been sheltering in their homes for the entirety of the day. 

High-pitched, raspy yips and hearty, thunderous roars fill the air with such resonance that it is not hard to imagine mighty walls trembling from the resultant vibrations.

For  well on  a minute the discordant vociferation continues, until one by one the exultant cacophonous voices die down.

A sudden quiet follows, only to be broken by multitudinous small but violent explosions as fireworks are set off from seemingly every direction at once. 

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Then the real howling begins as every dog in the area starts barking...

Memories Of An Old Haunt

There was a time when I used to go to certain stores just to hang out in them and pick up on the particular vibe they seemed to give off.

One such store was an old thrift shop in the San Diego enclave of North Park near 30th & Adams, not too far from Golden State Comics (this was a long, long time ago). The #2 bus let me off on a corner about halfway between the two stores, so every time I would go to Golden State Comics I'd also pay a visit to this particular thrift shop.

If it was open, that is. The store kept irregular hours and I'd wager that a third of the time I walked over to the store it was closed.

This particular thrift store was not like most thrift stores I'd been too in my quest for either old comic books or old paperback books - back then I had a jones for any of the 1960's Lancer Conan paperbacks that featured Frazetta covers, and any of the old Ace paperbacks that featured Roy Krenkel's artwork  - so I scoured thrift stores looking for them.

No, this particular thrift shop was small, and musty, and crammed with old gadgets - vintage radios and electronic devices - inventory I'm sure modern collectors would probably sacrifice body parts for the opportunity to root through now. 

There were a lot of very old small kitchen appliances and lamps too, as well as what had to be Victorian era furniture.

But it wasn't an antique store and it wasn't a curiosity shop. It was more of a hoarders attic, with no attempt made to display any item to it's best advantage or to clean anything up.

In the far back of the shop there were a couple of shelves full of books, both hardbacks and paperbacks. 

The selection was always changing, and there was absolutely no order to how the books were placed on the shelves - no mystery or science fiction sections, and not even one shelf devoted to hardbacks and one shelf devoted to paperbacks - all the books were just placed on the shelves in random order, which meant looking at the spines of every single last book in the search for what I regarded as treasure.

I did occasionally find some nuggets on those shelves, and if they were paperback they were 15 cents each - 25 cents for hardbacks.

The man who ran the place was probably in his late sixties or early seventies, and he was the stereotype of a sweet old curmudgeon. 

He never greeted anyone when they walked in with more than a nod of his head, and the counter where the register sat was covered in handwritten signs that stated things like "No Refunds Or Exchanges", "Cash Only", "Shoplifters Will Be Prosecuted", and the like.

However, despite (or in spite of) the disordered and disheveled nature of the place, and the grizzled personality of the old man, the place had an inexplicable feeling of comfort to it.

A good vibe.

I believe it was due to two factors, one being the random way in which items were displayed, which for some unfathomable reason just appealed to me, and two being how I never felt like I was an unwanted visitor to the store. 

The old man never glared at me or watched over me like a hawk as so many other people working at so many other stores did back in those days. I could wander through the shop for an hour and he'd just sit up at the front counter reading the paper or helping other customers out.

Oh, and the musty smell was no doubt a factor, too. It wasn't an old dirty musty smell, it was an old sweater musty smell.

An oddly comforting musty smell

Dull & Annoyed

Sitting
Slouching

In front of a 75 inch flat screen television
Remarking aloud to no one in particular 
How sharp and clear the picture is
Hard to decide if that's truly incredible
Or if that's really terrible

Not the "remarking out loud to myself" part
The "how impressive the television screen is" part

The future is such a fantastic place to live these days
There's eleven hundred channels on my television
Not a single reason for anyone to go outside and play
Should such an invention be praised and revered
Or regarded as a transmitter of garbage and feared

Time is not slow, time is tricky fast
Before you know it this will be in the past 

Gotta get up, gotta get away from this mind-numbing device
Might still be an opportunity to get something done
Could vacuum the rug or finally take down the Christmas lights
Just not right now, gotta wait until this show is over 
It's the third episode of a multi-part four series crossover 

The Agenda Narrows

Sitting in the family room listening to a favorite Estonian Psychedelic Acid-Folk Power-Pop Rock group's last really good album, wishing I could get away for an afternoon.

The Essential Essentials

Not everything is shut down, of course. Millions upon millions of people are still getting up and going to work, all the while doing their best not to have any contact with anyone else.

Some of them you see when you have the opportunity to go out - hospital employees and the police, of course, but also construction workers, delivery drivers, grocery store employees, and for some reason, sanitation workers - there have been a lot of sewage and wastewater lines being cleaned out in and around Denver for some reason - maybe it's a proactive action being taken because so many people are staying home, and well, they all bought tons of toilet paper...

Just sayin'

Only You Can Prevent Extinction

Zooma Zoom Zoom

Had to drive to the job-that-closed-for-quarantine today to perform a maintenance check and take care of a few small things this afternoon. 

That's not what this is about. 

This is about the traffic I encountered on the drive in. It was not heavy traffic. It was fast traffic. 

Like, Germany's autobahn-on-meth fast. 

I generally travel a few miles an hour above the posted speed limit and have no qualm with anyone else who does the same, but what I experienced today was traffic traveling far faster than any posted speed limit.

Cars were literally flying by me. 

It felt like I was driving a Nash Metropolitan (famous for going zero to sixty in 19 seconds) and everybody else was driving a Dodge Challenger SRT Demon (famous for going zero to sixty in 2.1 seconds).

We are living in crazy times. 

Rush Hour On C-470 Near Morrison, Colorado During The Quarantine

Going Back To Those Good Old Days

Have you ever wondered what life was like before there was live theater available? Or what people did to experience the thrill of competition before there were professional (or even amateur) sports teams to be cheered on? 

Have you ever given thought to what life was like on the planet before the advent of movie theaters, or what people did for entertainment before there were bar bands you could watch and dance to in bars? 

Or concerts to attend. Yeah concerts. I remember them...concerts were awesome.

But I digress. 

Did you ever truly think about what it would be like to have to literally entertain yourself and possibly some kith and kin too, for hours upon hours on end?

Well, looks like we're all learning just that now.




Thank all that is dear and sacred for the Internet.

The Pursuit Of Trivia

Oh, how I miss trivia. It's only been a little more than two weeks since I last was able to host or play bar trivia, and I miss both (hosting and playing) dearly.

I miss the competition, and I miss the competitors, even though the only person you actually compete against in bar trivia games is yourself - it's you against your own memory. If your memory fails you, you lose.

The more obscure or arcane the trivia questions are, the better I do in trivia games. It no doubt has something to do with how weird tidbits of information get lodged in ones brain while actually useful information just slides right out like so much garbage down a trash chute.

For anyone who may be interested, here are ten of the best  trivia questions I've ever come across.

1) Everyone knows Clark Kent is Superman, but do you know what Clark Kent's middle name is?

2) What country flies the oldest unchanged national flag?

3) In what five non-sporting events were Olympic medals awarded in Olympic competition between 1912 to 1948?

4) What percentage of people will become victims of paranoia brought on by mass-media sensationalism?

5) What inductee in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is the son of an inductee in the National Hockey League Hall of Fame?

6) What is the only other mammal besides human males that can suffer from prostate cancer?

7) If you spent $1,000 a day, how many years would it take you to spend one billion dollars?

8) What was the only country other than the United States where Elvis Presley appeared in concert?

9) How many states are there in the United States of Mexico?

10) What is the best selling novel of all time?

There you go, questions that once you either knew because you inadvertently stumbled across them or were just weirdly curious about the particular topic and decided to find out the answer.

Or google, eh? 

The Search For Meaning

This time I'm going to actually do it. I'm going to sell everything I own, renounce the pursuit of material wealth, and go all-out Jack Kerouac on the road. 

I'm going to explore every nook and cranny of this great big wonderful world in search of answers, in search of enlightenment. No stone will be left unturned in my quest for knowledge. 

Transcendental Meditation, Buddhism, Druidism. Fourth Way Cosmology, Zoroastrianism, Universalism, Psychonautics, Anthroposophy, Shinto Warrior Monk Jazz Dancing, Numinous Daily Floss Sprituality...I'm going to sample everything on the menu. 


There will be no limits to my investigative curiosity this time around. Nothing will keep me from finding the answer, the ultimate answer to the ultimate question.

Which is, of course, why is April 1st called April Fool's day?