The Twenty Third Guest Of The New Year

He walked in with a large pecan pie tucked under one arm and a two liter bottle of Diet Coke under the other.

"Merry New Year!" he proclaimed with a sober smile, "and may you never want for food, clothing or shelter in the year to come!"

"Or ever," I replied just as soberly. "What's with the pie and diet cola?"

"Whattaya mean? It's the traditional New Year celebration in these parts. A bite of pecan pie and a toast with diet soda."

That said, he placed the items on the small console table in the hallway, pulled a package of plastic shot glasses and another one of ridiculously tiny paper plates out from the bag that had been clutched in his right hand, the one that had the diet cola tucked under the crook of his arm, and proceeded to place two of the shot glasses and two of the paper plates next to each other.

He then peeled back the plastic covering the pie and proceeded to cut two small pieces from it with an orange plastic knife he had pulled out of a pocket inside his coat. He placed the bite-sized pieces on the plates, then took the bottle of diet cola and poured a small amount of the artificially sweetened  liquid into each of the shot glasses.

"To life, liberty, and the pursuit of hippiness," he said, while picking up the small piece of pie with his fingers. I followed suit and we made a simultaneous motion with our arms that was somewhat of a salute and a toast, and which ended with us both wolfing down our respective pieces of pecan pie in single bites. 

Then he reached for both of the plastic shot glasses and handed me one. "Salud, pesetas, y amore y tiempo para gozarlos." he stated as he raised his hand holding the tiny cup.

"Better late than never." I replied as we both repeated the salute/toast motion and downed the diet cola shots.

"Alright," he said as he gathered up the plastic cups and paper plates and made to hand them over. "Toss these for me, would you?" 

I took the refuse and watched as he gathered up everything he brought with him. "Gotta go," he stated, followed by "Have a few more stops to make, see you at work tomorrow."

With that he turned and walked out the door, humming a cheery tune as he left.